Connecting and Building Healthy

Relationships using
Social and Emotional Learning

presented by
Raymond Magpantay
on October 27, 2021

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Learning Objectives

- Understand the importance of establishing healthy relationships in order to

flourish in life

- Identify the barriers that prevent a person from establishing healthy

relationships and from flourishing

- Define the concepts of Social Emotional Learning (SEL) and understand how to
optimize one’s potentials and establish a rewarding relationship with others

- Learn practical strategies on how to use the SEL framework in dealing with
family, co-workers and students. 

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Importance of establishing healthy relationships

- Healthy relationships encourage personal growth

- Positive relationships add meaning to our life

- Healthy relationships can decrease stress and lead to a

longer life

- Social support in life

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Barriers in establishing healthy relationships

- Absence of Trust - relationships are rooted in trust. Without trust, there is no

foundation on which to build

- Ineffective Communication or lack of - can make or break the most precious of

relationships

- Poor quality and frequency of Collaboration

- Lack of Diversity and Inclusion

- Lack of Respect

- Absence of Empathy and Compassion

Source: QuantumWorkplace.com

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Techniques in building healthy relationships
- Manage and respect boundaries - appropriately so as not to appear to be
leveraging relationships unfairly or creating an environment of favoritism

- Include others (non-friends) in work projects – it is important to put heads

together with other people outside of your immediate circle

- Avoid gossiping and respect each other’s privacy

- Treat every member of the team equally – by intentionally treating each

team member with equal care, consideration, and respect

- Identify your relationship needs - understanding what you need from the
people in your organization can help clarify your own role and how you can
thrive in it

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Effective ways on how to enhance healthy
relationships
 Set the foundational framework and implement
SEL (Social Emotional Learning) skills
 Teach them on how to cultivate “emotional
intelligence”
 Show them how to be kind
 Instill in them positive emotions
 Always exercise gratefulness when at all possible
 Practice mindfulness - through meditation
 Mindfulness – a meditation exercise
https://youtu.be/wGFog-OuFDM

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Concepts of Social Emotional Learning (SEL) that can
optimize one’s potential in establishing a healthy and
rewarding relationship
- Self Awareness – involves understanding one’s own emotions, personal goals, and
values

- Self-Management – requires skills and attitudes that facilitate the ability to

regulate one’s owns emotions and behaviors

- Social Awareness – involves the ability to understand, empathize, and feel

compassion for those with different backgrounds or cultures

- Relationship Skills – help individuals establish and maintain healthy and rewarding
relationships, and to act in accordance with social norms

- Responsible Decision Making – involves learning how to make constructive choices

about personal behavior and social interactions across diverse settings

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SAFE Elements to incorporate in learning
Social Emotional Learning (SEL)

- Sequenced : connected and coordinated sets of activities

to foster skills development

- Active: active forms of learning to help master new skills

- Focused: emphasis on developing personal and social skills

- Explicit: targeting specific social and emotional skills

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Strategies for Connecting and Enhancing Healthy Relationships with
School-wide SEL Programming - Strategies for Teaching Staff:

 Teach, model, and reinforce SEL skills in and out of the classroom.
 Implement evidence-based programs.
 Establish high academic expectations.
 Provide specific feedback on students’ work rather than more global praise.
 Encourage cooperative learning and peer-assisted teaching.
 Encourage students in language arts or social studies lessons to discuss how characters or
historical figures used problem-solving skills or expressed understanding of others’ feelings.
 Communicate regularly with parents to let them know about SEL-related classroom
activities.
 Create democratic/more empathetic/non-competitive/more collaborative classrooms.
 Share positive reports of student behavior and achievement with parents.
 Develop routines and rituals for the class.
 Create physically and emotionally safe environments for students.
 Be consistent with rituals, rules, and routines in the classroom.
 Develop supportive programming for at-risk students.

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How to manage conflicts

- Put formal systems in place – create a dispute system

design (DSD)

- Promote better feedback – learn to give more effective

feedback and teach others on how to deliver meaningful
and useful feedback

- Focus on the problem and not the people - strive to frame

the situation in a positive light by focusing on the potential
benefits to the organization and also by taking a joint
problem-solving approach.

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Practical ways on how to develop a culture of
trust and respect to ensure healthy relationships

- Listen to each other and provide timely feedback

- Show that you care by exercising EI – Emotional

Intelligence at all times

- Help each other

- Encourage everyone to be themselves

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Build emotional intelligence
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to perceive, manage and regulate emotions.

Emotional Intelligence is crucial for the child’s or student’s overall lifetime success:
Two-thirds of the skills you use at school/work/home are social and emotional
90% of a leader’s success is based on their Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence (RULER) Technique

Recognizing emotion

Understanding emotion

Labeling emotion

Expressing emotion

Regulating emotion

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SEL Theory of Change Improved leader &
teacher effectiveness &
retention
Enhanced
mindsets about Increased engagement,
Training for emotions academic
leaders, performance,
educators, & staff Deepened social attendance &
& emotional graduation rates
Classroom skills
Instruction Enhanced decision
RULER
(Skills, Tools & Pedagogy) Healthier making; reduced drug
Integration into emotional & alcohol problems &
school-wide climates discipline referrals due
practices and to bullying episodes
policies Healthier
relationships are Less stress & anxiety,
Family Education developed leading to greater
mental health &
wellbeing

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Behaviors for creating an inclusive environment
- Seeks to understand before being understood
- Able to manage assumptions and stereotypes about others (awareness,
ownership, conscious decision to manage and implementation/follow through
- Able to positively receive constructive feedback
- Provides objective/honest feedback to others
- Leads by example (everyone’s a leader)
- Willingness to self examine and modify behaviors
- Learns from the experiences and perceptions of others
- Demonstrates flexibility
- Manages the tendency to seek comfort in sameness

Source: Working Together to Create An Inclusive Environment, 07/21

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Giving feedback
- “Can I run something by you that I noticed?” – constructive, sincere,
consequences, positive, specific, non-judgmental, behavior focus, no personal
attack, respectful, empathy

- “This is how it made me feel…” – specific, non- judgmental, ownership(my

reactions), don’t blame

- “How do you feel about what happened?” – don’t’ interrupt, clarify by restating,
openness, non-defensive, respectful

- “If this happen again, would you do anything differently?” don’t interrupt, clarify
by reinstating, openness, non-defensive, willing to partner in a solution

- Offer your ideas/suggestions if you are asked to give them

Source: Working Together to Create An Inclusive Environment, 07/21

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Exclusive behaviors
Counter-Productive Behaviors – You:
- Exclude people based on personal characteristics and background
- Use words/language that is disrespectful or that labels people
- Focus on the person’s gender, race, etc. when deciding how much
to be involved with them
- Remove individuals with a specific cultural difference from your
daily activities (i.e. going to lunch; sharing success/failures, etc.)
- Assume there is only one right way to do something and expect
people to adjust that right way

Source: Working Together to Create An Inclusive Environment, 07/21

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Exclusive behaviors – cont.
What if feels like to be excluded
- We feel tolerated and marginalized
- We are silent about who we are
- There is one-way or no communication
- We hide our differences and expend energy in fitting in; we fear feeling
separate
- People look away or don’t greet us
- People assume we are not capable and will fail
- People say bad things about us when we are not there
- Trust levels are low

Source: Working Together to Create An Inclusive Environment, 0 7/21

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Outcome of healthy relationships
- Everyone feels appreciated and accepted; everyone matters
- Everyone is given opportunities for growth and development
- Others depend on everyone; are interested in everyone, and
identify with everyone
- There is two-way communication
- Differences are seen as resources and are valued
- People smile when they see everyone
- People expect everyone to be successful and competent
- People say good things when they are not there
- Trust levels are high and respect prevails

Source: Working Together to Create An Inclusive Environment, 0 7/21

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This is my parting message to make you aware and realize that
GRATEFULNESS is one of the most critical core value of the Social
and Emotional Learning that can really boost one’s immune
system that is critical in enhancing our mental health, our
relationship to others and ourselves.

Sit back and listen to this brief video with a very compelling
message to all of us.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgm9E_cmvWA

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Thank you for the opportunity!

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ADDENDUM

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