Top Cricket

Sledges
Rod Marsh & Ian Botham:
When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to
the wicket with the immortal words:  
"So how's your wife & my kids?"  the reply from Botham was "my
wife's fine, your kids are retarded".
Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:
As Cullinan was on  his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been
waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him.
"Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.
Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo
Brandes):
"Hey Eddo, why are you so fucking fat?"
Eddo Brandes: "Because every time I fuck your mother, she throws me
a biscuit."
Robin Smith & Merv Hughes:
During 1989 Lords Test, Hughes said to Smith after he played &
missed: "You can't fucking bat."
Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we
make a fine pair. I can't fucking bat & you can't fucking bowl.
Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad:
During 1991 Adelaide  Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor.
A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed. "Tickets please," Merv called
out as he ran past the departing batsman.
Merv Hughes & Viv Richards:
During a test match in  the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to
Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries.  
"This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring  at me. In my
culture we just bowl."
Merv didn't reply, but after he  dismissed him he announced to the
batsman: "In my culture we just say fuck  off."
Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga:
And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which
was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga
called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one-dayer in
Sydney: "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat
cunt!"
James Ormond & Mark Waugh
Ormand had just come out to bat on an Ashes tour and was greeted by
Mark Waugh.
Mark Waugh: "Fuck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out
here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England."
James Ormond: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my
family."
Glenn McGrath & Ramnaresh Sarwan
McGrath to Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's dick taste like?"
Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."
McGrath (losing it): "If you ever fucking mention my wife again, I'll
fucking rip your fucking throat out!"
Mark Waugh & Adam Parore
Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Parore) comes to the
crease playing & missing the first ball.
Mark: "Oh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You
were shit then, you're fucking useless now."
Parore (turning around): "Yeah, that's me. And when I was there you
were going out with that old, ugly slut.
And now I hear you've married her, you dumb cunt!"
Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga
Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan
batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim.
Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused
what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and
drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good
length. That should do it."
Ravi Shastri vs the Aussie 12th man (don't remember who, and don't
want to slander anyone)
Shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single.
This guy gets the ball in and says, "If you leave the crease I'll break
your fucking head."
Shastri: "If you could bat as well as  you can talk you wouldn't be the
fucking 12th man."
Malcolm Marshall & David Boon
Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and
missed a couple of times.
Marshall: "Now, David, are you going to get out now or am I going to
have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"
Fred Trueman & Raman Subba Row
Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first
slip, and right between Raman Subba Row's legs.
Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past
Trueman and apologises sheepishly
"I should've kept my legs together, Fred."
"So should your mother," he replied
ledging including SANGAKKARA
• Australian wicket-keeper Rod Marsh, to English batsman
Ian Botham: ;So how;s your wife and my kids?; The reply ;The wife;s fine,
the kids are retarded; 

• Australian Merv Hughes to Englishman Robin Smith:

;Does your husband play cricket as well?; 

• Another incident involving Merv Hughes and Robin Smith.

During a 1989 Lord;s test, Hughes said to Smith after Smith played and
missed, ;You can;t f**king bat.; Smith;s reply after he hit Hughes for a
boundary the next ball, ;Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can;t f**king bat
and you can;t f**king bowl.; 

• 1990 - Javed Miandad called Merv Hughes a fat bus

conductor. Merv dismissed Miandad shortly afterwards, and called out
;Tickets Please;. 
• Merv Hughes & Viv Richards. During a test match in
the West Indies, Hughes didn;t say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at
him after deliveries. Viv said ;This is my island, my culture. Don;t you be
staring at me. In my culture we just bowl.; Merv bowled him out soon after
and replied ;In my culture we just say f**k off.; 

• Ian Healy to Arjuna Ranatunga when he called for a

runner during a one day match: ;You don;t get a runner for being an
overweight, unfit, fat **Ding**!; 

• Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player

Adam Parore comes to the crease playing and missing the first ball. Mark -
“Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in
Australia. You were shit then, you’re f**king useless
now”. Parore- (Turning around) â€Å
“Yeah, that’s me and when I was there you were
going out with that old, ugly slut and now I hear youâ€â„Â
¢ve married her. You dumb **Ding**!” 

Ravi Shastri vs. the aussie 12th man, Shastri hits it to this guy and looks for
a singlethis guy gets the ball in and says if you leave the crease ill break
your f**king head” Shastri: if you could bat as well as you
can talk you wouldnt be the f**king 12th man
• Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had
played and missed a couple of times. Marshall : “Now
David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around
the wicket and kill you?” 

• Shane Warne when bowling against Arjuna Ranatunga

wondered aloud what would draw him out of his crease. Wicketkeeper Ian
Healy piped up,;Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it.;
Ranatunga not to be out done believed to have said ; Then i;m sure Boony
here will get it before me; referring to David Boon who was fielding at first
slip. 

Mark Waugh to Jimmy Ormond coming out to bat in an Ashes match: šÂ¬Ã…
“Mate, what are you doing out here, there’s no
way you’re good enough to play for England. 
Ormond: Maybe not, but at least I;m the best player in my family.ââ⠝
(Mark;s twin brother Steve was captain of the team.) 

Glenn McGrath to Zimbabwean Eddo Brandes after Brandes had played and
missed at a McGrath delivery: ;Oi, Brandes, why are you so f**king fat?; to
which Brandes replied: ;Cos every time I f**k your wife she gives me a
biscuit!; Apparently even the Australian slips were in hysterics. 
• Shane Warne (Australia) to Daryll Cullinan (South
Africa): ;I;ve been waiting two years to humiliate you again.; Cullinan:
;Looks like you spent the time eating.; 

• Greg Thomas, a Glamorgan fast bowler, thundered in and

beat Vivian Richards;s bat. ;It;s red and it;s round. Can;t you see it?; the
bowler taunted. The next ball was precisely the same; pitching three
quarters of length on middle and off, seaming away, and once again
Richards was comprehensively beaten. ;It;s red and it;s round and it weighs
four-and-a-half ounces. Can;t you see it?;, Greg Thomas quipped. The next
delivery was right in the slot, and Viv smashed the ball out of the ground
and straight into the river that flowed around it. The batsman then said to
the bowler: ;You know what it looks like... go get it!; 

• In the 1996 Cricket World Cup quarter-final encounter

between India and Pakistan, Pakistani batsman Aamer Sohail hit Venkatesh
Prasad through a vacant area of the field for four runs. Sohail pointed at
Prasad, and then to the vacant area, as if to tell Prasad that since there were
no fielders there, he (Prasad) should retrieve the ball himself. The next
delivery, Prasad bowled Sohail. As Sohail left the pitch, Prasad pointed him
to the pavilion. (Video) 
Aamer Sohail was also involved in another famous incident. In the 1980s Ian
Botham returned early from a tour of Pakistan, and on radio joked Pakistan
is the sort of country to send your mother in-law to; Needless to say the
Pakistanis did not find this amusing, and when Pakistan defeated England in
the 1992 World Cup Final, Aamer Sohail told Ian Botham ;Why dont you
send your mother-in-law out to play, she cannot do much worse.; 

Teammates sledging each other. One very famous incident involved Fred
Trueman and Raman Subba Row. England were playing Pakistan and, at
what turned out to be a crucial moment later on, Trueman managed to get
an outside edge off a Pakistani batsman after the batsman had been
frustrating them on a hot sweaty day. The ball went right through the hands
of Raman Subba Rao who was standing in first slip and through his legs.
After the over Raman heads over to the bowler and says, ;Sorry Fred, I
shouldve closed my legs; Fred Trueman,, quipped back, ;No, you bastard,
your mother should have; 

Sunil Gavaskar had decided to relinquish his opening position and come in at
no 4 for that test. But, Malcolm Marshall fired out Anshuman Gaekwad and
Dilip Vengsarkar for ducks, setting the stage for Gavaskar to walk in at 0/2.
And he thought there would be less pressure! Viv Richards says ;Man, it
don;t matter where you come in to bat, the score is still zero.; Gavaskar
made 236* 
New Zealand vs South Africa: Daryll Cullinan was batting, attempting a
comeback from a complete bamboozling from Warne in earlier games. Cullinan
played the first ball from Chris Harris very carefully back down the pitch, and
keeper Parore yelled out ;Well bowled Warnie!; 

Bomber; Wells, a spin bowler and great character, played for Gloucestershire
and Nottinghamshire. He used to bat at No.11 since one couldn;t bat any
lower. Of him, they used to paraphrase Compton;s famous words describing
an equally inept runner, ;When he shouts ;YES; for a run, it is merely the
basis for further negotiations!; Incidentally, Compton was no better. John Warr
said, of Compton ;He was the only person who would call you for a run and
wish you luck at the same time.; Anyway, when Wells played for Gloucs, he
had an equally horrendous runner as the No.10. During a county match,
horror of horrors..both got injured. Both opted for runners when it was their
turn to bat. Bomber played a ball on the off, called for a run, forgot he had a
runner and ran himself. Ditto at the other end. In the melee, someone decided
that a second run was on. Now we had *all four* running. Due to the
confusion and constant shouts of ;YES; ;NO;, eventually, all of them ran to the
same end. At this point in time, the entire ground is rolling on the floor
laughing their behinds out. One of the fielders - brave lad - stops laughing for
a minute, picks the ball and throws down the wicket at the other end. Umpire
Alec Skelding looks very seriously at the four and calmly informs them ;One of
you buggers is out. I dont know which. You decide and inform the bloody
scorers!;. (Incident From the Pavilion by Harold Dickie Bird) 
During the 1997 Ashes series, the English team decided not to sledge Steve
Waugh as he revelled in a hostile atmosphere and sledging merely fuelled his
adrenaline. Waugh arrived at the crease and soon realised this: ;OK, you;re
not talking to me are you? Well, I;ll talk to myself then;. And he did, for 240
minutes in the first innings, and 382 minutes in the second.[1] 

Psychological sledging is seen as a way of getting under an opposing player;s

skin, and disrupting their concentration. Normally directed at batsmen, often
by wicketkeepers and close in fielders, sometimes the tables can be turned...

1999 - Perhaps the most famous sledge is reported to have taken place during
the epic World Cup Super Six clash between Australia and South Africa. South
Africa looked on course to a routine victory with Australian captain Steve
Waugh at the crease and on 56. At that stage, Waugh clipped the ball in the
air straight to South African fielder Herschelle Gibbs. In his haste, Gibbs
dropped the ball when attempting to throw it in the air in celebration as he had
not fully controlled it. As he passed him, Waugh is said to have asked
Gibbs: ;How does it feel to have dropped the World Cup?;. Waugh carried on
to make an unbeaten 120 and Australia posted an unlikely win and won the
World Cup a few days later. Waugh has denied that quote, instead claiming
that he said ;looks like you;ve dropped the match;.
2004 England;s Andrew Flintoff, at slip, teased West Indies; tailender Tino
Best for repeatedly trying to slog Ashley Giles over the top for six, so Flintoff
said: ;Mind the Windows, Tino!;, meaning the pavilion windows. Best
charged out to meet the next ball, swung wildly at it (attempting a six),
missed and was stumped by Geraint Jones, getting out and leaving Flintoff
with a stitch. [2], Video 

Kumar Sangakkara November 2003; to Gareth Batty, England;s main spin

bowler on tour; ;Where;s England;s best spinner?;. 

• Kumar Sangakkara to Shaun Pollock: ;We don;t complain

when we lose away, man,; ... ;We don;t cry like in Morocco [where Sri
Lanka had beaten South Africa in the final of a one-day competition in
August] and say ;this not our conditions, this is not our conditions; and go to
the press conference and say the same. f**king joke. If you win, be
gracious, man. Otherwise it;s shit. Graceful, man, graceful, Shaun. Learn
it.; 

• Kumar Sangakkara to Ashwell Prince: ;Why don;t your

teammates eat with you Ashley? Don;t they think your;re good enough for
them? Why don;t they like you Ashwell, huh? What did you do?; after it
transpired that Prince and other coloured players in the South African team
were eating at a separate table to the white players in their team hotel. 
• Kumar Sangakkara to Andrew Hall:;Where;s the attitude
now? Where;s the arrogance and the attitude now, huh? Are you guys
rattled now? Eh? Doubting yourself, man? Self-doubt, man, eh?; 

• Kumar Sangakkara to Harbhajan Singh: ;Bhaji you look

good in your short sleeves why dont you wear them when you bowl too? ;
referring to Harbhajan;s bowling action that had just been reported to the
ICC for chucking. 

2005: South Africa batsman Justin Kemp was facing a string of beautiful
deliveries from Shane Warne, so much that Warne started calling Kemp
;Daryll; (referring to Daryll Cullinan who was tortured by Warne;s bowling
throughout his career).