Non-Violent

Communication (NVC)
Giving and Receiving from the Heart

Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg

 OBJECTIVES:

• To learn the four components of

Non-Violent Communication.

• To apply the NVC process and

foster respect and empathy.

Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg

 Activity: ROLE PLAY
Dramatize how the feedbacking
of one another should be done

Situation at Home
The mother is someone in middle age and very obsessed
with cleanliness. She makes sure that everything is in place
and she is happy seeing a well-organized home. The
daughter on the other hand is the exact opposite. Her room is
disorganized but she prefers it that way. She reasons that
despite the mess, she knows exactly where her stuff is
located. The mother arranges her daughter’s room everytime
and the daughter have a hard time to immediately look for
her things all the time. The clash and conflict happens when
the mother complains that her daughter is irresponsible and
inconsiderate while the daughter also complains that her
freedom and privacy is being invaded.

Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg

 PROCESSING

• What happened as a result of the conflict?

• What was the most hurting word/s you’ve ever

received?

• Recall the time you also labeled or judged another

person. What were the exact words you said?

Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg

Non-Violent
Communication
• Compassionate communication

• Moving beyond the traditional conditioning

of resistance, defensiveness and violent
reactions to confict, to a deeper, more
human, more compassionate
understanding of self and others

• Fosters deep listening, respect, empathy

and a mutual desire to give and receive
from the heart; healing
Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg
 Components of
NVC model
• OBSERVATION

• FEELING

• NEEDS

• REQUEST
Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg
OBSERVATION

Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg

FEELING

Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg

 NEEDS

Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg

REQUEST

Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg

Life-alienating
Communication
• Moralistic judgments – judgments that imply
wrongness or badness on the part of people who
don’t act in harmony with our values (blame, insults,
put-downs, labels, criticisms, comparisons,
diagnoses)
– Our attention is focused on analyzing,
classifying and determining levels of wrongness
rather than on what we and others need and are
not getting
– Analyses of others are actually expressions of
our own (unmet) needs and values

Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg

• Making comparisons
• Denial of responsibility – attributing responsibility
for our thoughts, feelings, actions to:
– Vague, impersonal forces
– Our condition, diagnosis, personal or
psychological history
– The actions of others
– The dictates of authority
– Group pressure
– Institutional policies, rules and regulations
– Gender roles, social roles, age roles
– Uncontrollable impulses
• Communicating our desires as demands
• “Who-deserves-what” thinking - entitlement

Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg

Taking A Negative
Message
• Hear blame and/or criticism; give in
or defend self: blame ourselves
• Fault the speaker; attack back:
blame others
• Sensing our feelings and needs
• Sensing others’ feelings and
needs

Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg

Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg
Basic Parts of NVC

• Expressing honesty through

the 4 components

• Receiving emphatically
through the 4 components

Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg

Principles of NVC
• Affirm, enrich life!
– Avoid communication that is non-affirming, non-
enriching/blocks compassion: moralistic,
comparisons, denial of responsibility, demanding,
“deserve” talk

• Observe, do not evaluate.

• Identifying, expressing and taking responsibility for

my own feelings

• Requesting that which would affirm, enrich life

• Receiving emphatically; the gift of Presence

– “Don’t just do something, stand there!”

Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg

Positive Uses of
Anger and Force
• Anger – as a reflection of unmet
needs and values
• Force – for protection, not
punishment

Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg

Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg
Adapted from Marshall B. Rosenberg