To produce a child is simply a matter of biology.

To “parent” a child is a difficult role to fulfill.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow developed a Pyramid of
Human Needs, an hierarchy of needs critical to survival.

It is the parent’s job to help meet these needs

of their child:
1. The child has physical needs of food,
water, shelter
2. The child must feel and be safe from harm
3. The child must feel love, a sense of
belonging; acceptance
4. The child must feel a sense of self-worth
5. The child must strive to be “all that they
can be” (fulfillment/ self-actualization))
In order to help the child satisfactorily meet these needs throughout their
lifetime, the parent must provide guidelines for behavior…discipline.
 One of the most challenging aspect’s of the
parent’s job is discipline. Discipline is “the
task of helping children learn to behave in
acceptable ways…within the family and within
society”.

The term discipline does not mean

punishment; it means “guidance”
or “direction”. Punishment is only With excellent guidance,
one small part of guidance. children gradually begin to
understand why certain
The ultimate goal of discipline is to actions are right or wrong…
help children achieve self-discipline… developing a conscience!
the ability to control one’s own
behavior.
Human beings possess the ability to use logic. They “choose” to behave
in certain ways, and with every choice comes a consequence. The role of
the parent is not to shield children from bad consequences, but to guide
children in learning to make good choices that have good consequences.
An adult can discipline a child without having an “attachment” to that child,
but a strong bond between the parent and child is very effective… making the
process of disciplining easier. Continue “attachment parenting” after infancy:

1.Communicate your love to your child in word and deed each and every day.
2.Listen and respond to your child’s feelings as well as their words.
3.Show respect for your child's unique ideas and opinions.
4.Discuss mutual goals, plans, and responsibilities with your child frequently. This
includes the short-term daily plans, goals, and responsibilities as well as the long-term
ones.
5. Your child should know where you are and how to reach you, but should not need to
make frequent contact throughout the day.
6.Continue to touch your child affectionately with hugs, pats on the back, sitting
together to read, etc.
7.Model and teach courtesy, patience, kindness, thoughtfulness, honesty, loyalty,
responsibility, fairness, and forgiveness.
8.Give your child age-appropriate responsibilities at home. This solidifies their sense
of worth in a measurable way.
9.Recognize, acknowledge, and praise your child when he makes an effort to do
something good -good school papers, obeying parents, helping at home. Make a big
deal out of it!
10.Avoid destructive expressions of anger such as insulting, sarcasm, shaming. Try to
discipline with dignity. Never threaten to withhold or stop loving your child.
 While parents can be friendly, they should not
be a friend. Children have lots of friends who
tell them what they want to hear. They don't
need you to be another friend. They need you to
be an authority figure who lets them know
where the boundaries of acceptable behavior
are. Trying to be his or her friend will only
undermine your authority as a parent. Friends
often come and go; friends do not love
unconditionally.

A child, especially a teenager,

might tell you that he/she wants
you to be their friend. Parents that
try this are doing an injustice to
their child. Children cannot
always assess or verbally define
their needs.
Burrhus Frederic Skinner was born March 20, 1904, in a small
Pennsylvania town. Burrhus received his BA in English from
Hamilton College in upstate New York.  He didn’t fit in very well.
He wanted to be a writer and did try, with poetry and short
stories.    After some traveling, he decided to go back to school,
this time at Harvard.  He got his masters in psychology in 1930
and his doctorate in 1931, and stayed there to do research until
1936.
Also in that year, he moved to Minneapolis to teach at the
University of Minnesota.  There he met and soon married Yvonne
Blue.  They had two daughters.
In 1945, he became the chairman of the psychology department
at Indiana University.  In 1948, he was invited to come to Harvard,
where he remained for the rest of his life.  While not successful
as a writer of fiction and poetry, he became one of the best B. F. Skinner
psychology writers, including the book Walden II, which is a
fictional account of a community run by his behaviorist
principles. 1904-1990
August 18, 1990, B. F. Skinner died of leukemia after becoming
perhaps the most celebrated psychologist since Sigmund Freud.
He was renowned for his theories on human behavior... the basis
of many of today’s discipline methods.
B. F. Skinner’s entire system is based on operant conditioning.  The organism
is in the process of “operating” on the environment, which in ordinary terms
means it is bouncing around its’ world, doing what it does.  During this
“operating,” the organism encounters a special kind of stimulus, called a
reinforcing stimulus, or simply a reinforcer.  This special stimulus has the
effect of increasing the operant -- that is, the behavior occurring just before
the reinforcer.  This is operant conditioning:  “the behavior is followed by a
consequence, and the nature of the consequence modifies the organisms
tendency to repeat the behavior in the future.”

Imagine a rat in a cage. This is a special cage (called, in fact, a “Skinner box”)
that has a bar or pedal on one wall that, when pressed, causes a little
mechanism to release a food pellet into the cage.  The rat is bouncing around
the cage, doing whatever it is rats do, when he accidentally presses the bar
and -- presto! -- a food pellet falls into the cage! The operant is the behavior
(pressing the bar) just prior to the reinforcer (the food pellet).  In no time at
all, the rat is furiously peddling away at the bar, hoarding his pile of pellets in
the corner of the cage.

A behavior followed by a reinforcing stimulus results in an increased

probability of that behavior occurring in the future.
 What if you don’t give
the rat any more
pellets?  Apparently,
he’s no fool, and after
a few futile attempts,
he stops his bar-
pressing behavior. 
This is called
extinction of the
operant behavior.

A behavior no longer
followed by the
reinforcing stimulus
results in a decreased
probability of that
behavior occurring in
the future.

Skinner discovered, however, that if you

re-introduced the reinforcer again, the
operant behavior resumed more quickly
than it had originally been developed.
At one point in his experiments, Skinner decided to reduce the number of
reinforcements he gave his rats for whatever behavior he was trying to
condition (in other words, he didn’t always give the rat a food pellet even
when they did the desired behavior), and lo and behold, the rats kept up
their operant behaviors, and at a stable rate.  This is how Skinner
discovered schedules of reinforcement!
To encourage or produce a specific behavior,
continuous reinforcement must be used
initially. Once the pattern of behavior-
followed-by-reinforcement appears quite well
established, the reinforcement does not
always have to be used. The desired behavior
will continue with only intermittent or variable
reinforcements.

Can you explain how schedules of

reinforcement are used by teachers when
they use gold stars, grades, or comments on
student’s papers.
 An aversive stimulus is the opposite of a
reinforcing stimulus, something we might
find unpleasant or painful. An aversive
If you shock a rat for touching stimulus is commonly referred to as
the wooden cube placed in punishment.
the Skinner box, then the rat
will stop touching the wooden A behavior followed by an
cube (maybe). If you spank aversive stimulus results in
Johnny for throwing his toys a decreased probability of
he will throw his toys less and the behavior occurring in the
less (maybe). future.
 
Statistics show that
behaviors change more
quickly with the use of
punishment than with the
use of reinforcers, BUT
more permanently with
the use of reinforcers
rather than punishment.
The reinforcements we have referred to in previous slides are “positive
reinforcements”… in rats this might be a food pellet; in children it
might be a desired stimulus such as praise, a gold star, a special candy
treat, rewarded with a special activity such as a picnic, getting a longer
recess, a hug.

There are also “negative reinforcements”. These are not necessarily the
same as punishment. The child’s behavior changes in order to stop an
existing punishment or aversive stimulus.

Example:
1. The child does not like the
parent to nag them about
taking out the garbage.
2. The child takes out the
garbage.
3. The parent stops nagging.

Example: A little boy was about
four years old, and was afraid to
go down a particular slide.  So I
picked him up, put him at the end
of the slide, asked if he was okay
and if he could jump down.  He
did, of course, and I showered him
with praise.  I then picked him up
and put him a foot or so up the
slide, asked him if he was okay,
and asked him to slide down and
jump off.  He did.   I repeated this
again and again, each time
moving him a little up the slide,
and backing off if he got
nervous.  Eventually, I could put
him at the top of the slide and he
could slide all the way down and
jump off.  His behavior was
“shaped”.
Shaping is a method of
successive approximations.
Basically, it involves first
reinforcing a behavior only
vaguely similar to the one
desired.  Once that is
established, you look out for
variations that come a little
closer to what you want, and
so on, until you have the child
performing a behavior that
would never show up in
ordinary life. 
Application:
I want my child to be
quiet and sit relatively
still during an entire 20
minute sermon every
Sunday at church. What
steps might I take to
“shape this behavior”?
 Behavior modification is the therapy technique. Simply, you extinguish
an undesirable behavior by removing the reinforcer, and replace it with a
desirable behavior by using a reinforcer.  It has been used on all sorts of
psychological problems such as addictions, neuroses, shyness, autism,
schizophrenia, obsessive/compulsive tendencies -- and works
particularly well with children.

Example:
1. Undesirable behavior – Susy bites her nails
2. Remove the reinforcer – cover her hands with
gloves or paint the nails with bad-tasting
liquid
3. Catch Susy in the act of NOT BITING her nails
4. Offer Susy praise or a gold star or her choice
of polish color for not biting her nails
 Token economy is a method of
discipline used primarily in
institutions such as psychiatric
hospitals, juvenile halls, and prisons. 
Certain rules are made explicit in the
institution, and behaving yourself
appropriately is rewarded with tokens
-- poker chips, tickets, funny money,
recorded notes, etc.  Certain poor Example:
behavior is also often followed by a
1. Get a smiley face beside your
withdrawal of these tokens.  The
name for every day that goes
tokens can be traded in for desirable
by without a physical fight
things such as candy, cigarettes,
games, movies, time out of the 2. A grumpy face sticker gets
institution, and so on.  This has been pasted over a smiley face when
found to be very effective in you start or join in a fight
maintaining order in these often
difficult institutions. In normal 3. When you get 5 smiley face
situations, is it like buying good stickers showing, I’ll rent the
behavior? movie of your choice for you
 Also known as “respondent learning” or “Pavlovian conditioning”. A
behavior occurs that is a learned response to a stimulus that was not
originally capable of producing the response.
Based on the theory of Application:
Russian scientist Ivan
Pavlov (1849-1946)… 1. The teacher flicks the light switch
in the room on and off; it means
nothing to the noisy students
1. A bell rings, and 2. The light flickers, and the teacher
means nothing to the dog says “shhhh” and gets very quiet;
2. The bell rings and food the children get quiet
becomes visible; the dog 3. When the children get quiet, the
starts salivating teacher smiles, praises them, and
3. Upon salivating, the dog continues with the lesson
gets the food 4. Repeated often enough, the
4. Repeated often enough, the children will get very quiet as soon
dog will start salivating at as they see the lights flicker
the sound of the bell
 STEP 1: Be committed and consistent.

It's crucial that your child knows that you're going to do

what you say you will. If you explain what a punishment
will be, and then don't act on it, you will have less
credibility the next time. Make a commitment to your
child's discipline, and be consistent in your behavior
toward them.
Don’t say “no” unless you
mean “no”. Don’t give in to
begging. It’s better to be
wrong than to be wishy-
washy in your decision.
Don’t offer children a choice
unless you can live with
their decision. (Example:
“Would you pick up your
toys now, please?”)
 STEP 2: Be realistic in your expectations of the child.

Don't ask your child to do anything he/she cannot do. Make

sure that what you are asking of your child is a behavior
within his or her reach — if it's not, your child will get
frustrated and be less likely to listen to you in the future.
Expectations will change over time as the child ages.

“I am your mother, and

I told you to pick up all
those blocks and sort
them by size and put
them back on the shelf
in the right spot!”

Would this request be a

realistic expectation for
the child at the right?
STEP 3: Find out what the child values.

Identify the things your child likes or values.

it could be a toy, a particular activity, or
even a privilege like getting to stay awake to
a particular hour. If you control these
things, then you control the behavior those
things depend on. Once you understand
what your child values, you can withdraw
positive things (taking away the toy) or
introduce negative things (making them
take a time-out from an activity) as a form of
discipline.

What your child values will change over

time, as they age. While taking away a toy
might work for a 3 year old, taking away TV
might work for an 8 year old, and taking
away the car keys might work for a 17 year
old.
STEP 4: Give the children
predictable consequences.

It's important for your child to

understand that the same result
will come from the same
behavior. Make your child feel
like he/she has control over their
life: If your child behaves in "Way
A," they need to be sure that they
will always get "Consequence B."
If he/she can count on the rules
staying the same, they're more
likely to abide by them.

I’m sorry you’re mad, but you heard your teacher. Every time you
try to cheat while playing this game, you’re going to have to spend
another timeout on the bleachers!

When I broke my truck, Dad said “toys
cost a lot of money” and I should “take
good care of them”. I think he meant
this toy tractor, too!
STEP 5: Use child-level
logic.
Explain your values in
terms your child can
understand. Take the
time to explain the
reasons behind why you
are asking he/she to
behave in certain ways —
if your child understands
the kinds of behavior
you'd like them to avoid,
they're more likely to
apply that reasoning to
different situations,
instead of learning to
stop one behavior at a
time.
By definition, punishment in
the form of physical contact
is called corporal
punishment. This would
include punching, shaking,
striking (with hand or object),
biting, pinching, and/or
spanking.
The debate: Is
corporal punishment a
form of discipline or a
form of abuse? What
does corporal
punishment teach…
improved behavior or
violence?
Licensed caregivers and
public school teachers in the
state of Nebraska are
prohibited from using
corporal punishment.
Much of the world—including Asia, the
Middle East, the U.S., the U.K., Canada
and New Zealand—leaves the spanking
issue up to parents. But 11 nations—
Austria, Croatia, Cyprus, Denmark,
Finland, Germany, Israel, Iceland, Latvia,
Norway and Sweden—have laws
prohibiting corporal punishment of
children by caregivers or parents.
Sanctions range from fines to possible
imprisonment. Parents traveling with
children should be aware of these laws
regarding corporal punishment.
 CONS:
PROS:
Long-term consequences of spanking
Spanking can be immediately
can include increased aggressiveness,
effective on a short-term basis in
antisocial behavior, and delinquency.
getting children to change the
 
negative behaviors that prompted
Spanking without reasoning may fail to
the spanking.
teach the child right from wrong. The
 
child may simply avoid the undesirable
Spanking has been shown to be
behaviors in the presence of the parent.
most effective in 2- to 6-year-olds
 
when used in conjunction with
Physical punishment can send mixed
milder disciplinary methods, such
messages to a child and reinforce
as reasoning and time-outs.
aggressive behavior. When parents
 
model aggressive behaviors by
In a study, parents who combined
spanking, they reinforce the idea that
reasoning with negative
physical aggression is the way to get
consequences such as spanking
what you want.
had the most success in
 
changing negative behaviors…
It is suggested that frequently spanking
more so than other forms of
children weakens the closeness of the
discipline such as time outs.
parent/child relationship.
If you decide that spanking is an appropriate
form of punishment for your child, and you
have already given a warning, then proceed
by following these rules:

1. The two places you can spank a child

are on the hands, or on his/her bottom.
2. If spanking on the child’s bottom, their
bottom should be clothed.
3. Use your hand to spank…NEVER use
an object.
4. You may be angry, but you MUST be in
control enough to explain exactly HOW “I told you not to throw that
you’re going to spank them and WHY... toy in the house or you’d get
BEFORE YOU START TO SPANK! If a spanking. Throwing toys in
you are too angry to do that…you are the house is dangerous. You
too angry to spank a child, because threw the toy anyway, so now
you are “out of control”. I am going to spank you. I’m
going to bend you over my
5. Follow through with the spanking knee and spank you 3 times.”
exactly as you have explained.
If you decide that time out is an appropriate
form of punishment for your child between
the ages of 2 and 12, follow these rules for
best effectiveness:

1. The time-out area should be easily accessible, and in such a location that
the child can be easily monitored while in time-out.
2. Place the child in time out; tell them why they are being placed on time
out; have no further discussion.
3. Set a timer with an audible bell to signal the end of timeout; the timeout
period should last 1 minute for each year of age
4. While in time-out, the child should not be permitted to talk, and the parent
should not communicate with the child in any way.  The child also should
not make noises, or be allowed to play with any toy, listen to the radio or
stereo, watch television, or bang on the furniture. Any violation of time-out
should result in automatic resetting of the clock for another time-out
period.
5. Timeout only works if the child is willing to serve the time out period.
Select an activity or object you can take away until the child serves the
timeout.
Sometimes children display temper tantrums in an
attempt to get what they want, but in fact, these
tantrums cannot work unless there is an audience.
Kicking, screaming, pounding fists, stomping feet,
disruptions to a group activity, and even holding
their breath to the point of passing out may be typical
of a child’s tantrum behaviors. In these events, the
best form of discipline may actually be no discipline
at all. The tantrum is “performed” for attention (good
or bad), and when absolutely no attention is given
the tantrum is no longer effective. In other words,
you might choose to ignore misbehavior.
 Indulgence means “over-gratification”, “yielding to a
wish”, “a tolerant attitude”. To “spoil” a child means
over-indulgence.
Spoiled children have a very difficult time growing up and living life
successfully. As a parent, you must adhere to some difficult rules and
some form of discipline in order to keep from spoiling your child:

Your primary job as a parent is to prepare your child for

how the world really works.
In the real world, you don't always get what you want. You will be better
able to deal with that as an adult if you've experienced it as a child.
Children, like adults, do not need to be happy all of the time.
It is not a parent’s job to make their child “happy”.

If your parent/child relationship is based on material goods, your child won't

have the chance to experience unconditional love.
Be a good role model. A parent is not the only influence in their child’s life,
so they’d better be the best one!
Redefine what taking care of your children means. Are you providing for
You need not buy them material
them emotionally and spiritually?
goods in order to create a bond. Instead of tangible gifts, how
about spending some time together? Be careful that you aren't teaching them
that emotions can be healed by buying material things.

Make sure your children aren't defining their happiness

and their status in the world as a function of what they
wear or drive. Sit down with them and have a one-on-one conversation
about what really defines their worth — their intelligence, their creativity,
their caring, their giving, their work ethic, etc. If you spent equal time sitting
down and talking to them about what really mattered as you do shopping,
you might be able counterbalance the countless images they see telling them
otherwise.

Understand "intrinsic" versus "extrinsic" motivation. If you

are always rewarding your child with material things, he/she will never learn
how to motivate themselves with internal rewards like pride.

Make sure your child understands the value of hard work.

 In order to succeed, you have to do things you don’t
really want to do; things other people don’t want to, but
things that need to be done.
Who does your child idolize? Who is their hero? Discuss this with your
child…is this idol truly worthy of this hero status? Is this a good role
model for your child?
Help your child set goals. Teach her that striving to own nice things is fine
if she understands how much hard work it takes to afford that, and then
doesn't base her self-worth around what she buys.

Your child does not have to like you every minute of

every day. He'll get over the disappointment of having been told "no."
But he won't get over the effects of being spoiled.
 Child care providers must operate under entirely
different restrictions than the parent.
The center shall ensure that no child The staff cannot discipline:
is left alone, pinched, punched,
shaken, struck with any object, By denial of food
bitten, or spanked by staff…no By forced napping
corporal punishment!
For toileting accidents

A brief, By making any sort of

derogatory remarks about
supervised
them or their family
separation
from the By using abusive or profane
group may language, yelling or
screaming, or threats of
be used…
physical punishment
time out.