Become Your Best Self

Have you
been feeling
lost lately?
• Not yourself?
• Sad?
• Lonely?
• Burdened by too much money and/or
gold?
The Cause is
Simple
You have lost your connection to
your higher self
But There is a
Solution
True enlightenment
is now available from
a reliable source.
This Is Dave
While attempting to break
the world record for most
consecutive whippits,
Dave was hit by a golf cart
and was declared legally
dead for 15 minutes. In
those 15 minutes Dave
saw god and achieved
complete enlightenment.
He is Willing
to Teach
You
You can come to Dave’s
house and he will teach
you the secrets of the
universe. If you want you
can live there. Leave
everyone behind and live
on Dave’s couch
What Will Dave Teach You?

 The meaning of life

 How to get into heaven
 The PIN to God’s bank account
 How to parallel park
 Where Jesus keeps the spare key to his Subaru
 How many whippits you can do before you die
We are not a cult

 We asked Dave and he said so

But there is a cost

Itis $79,000
Dave accepts cash, gold, bitcoin,
and tigers
Give him your credit card
You can trust Dave
FORSAKE YOUR FAMILY
EMBRACE DAVE