Chapter 7

Persuasive Messages

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  | Ch. 7±1
 ^riting Plan for a
Persuasive Request
‡ pening
‡  tain the reader¶s attention and interest.
‡ Body
‡ Explain logically and concisely the purpose
of your request.
‡ Reduce resistance with counterarguments;
esta lish credi ility.

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  | Ch. 7±2
 ^riting Plan for a
Persuasive Request

‡ Closing
‡ Ask for a particular action.
‡ Make it easy to respond.
‡ Show courtesy and respect.

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  | Ch. 7±3
 Ñips for Complaints

‡ Begin with a compliment, point of

agreement, statement of the pro lem, or
rief review of action you have taken to
resolve the pro lem.
‡ Provide identifying data.
‡ Explain why the receiver is responsi le.

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  | Ch. 7±4
 Ñips for Complaints

‡ Enclose document copies supporting

your claim.
‡ Appeal to the receiver's fairness, ethical
and legal responsi ilities, and desire for
customer satisfaction.
‡ Descri e your feelings and your
disappointment.

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  | Ch. 7±5
 Ñips for Complaints

‡ Avoid sounding angry, emotional, or

irrational.
‡ Close y telling exactly what you want
done.

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  | Ch. 7±6
 *neffective Persuasive
Request Letter
Mr. John M. Watson
Retail Credit Department
Union National Bank
P. O. Box 2051
Little Rock, AR 72203

Dear Mr. Watson:

You have charged my wife's Visa account with erroneous "over-

the-limit" charges that are quite unfair, and I am very upset about it.

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  | Ch. 7±7
 *neffective Persuasive
Request Letter
How can we be charged with "over-the-limit" charges when nearly
every one of the charges was approved? We don't keep a running
record of our Visa account and all our credit purchases on it, so we
did not know that we were close to the limit.

Between August 7 and September 27 we made 12 purchases. We

were charged a $10 fee for each of these 12 transactions because
we exceeded our credit limit. However, 10 of these transactions
were phoned in for approval, and ALL WERE APPROVED! Why
were they approved if we were over our credit limit? Obviously, we
would not have continued to make purchases if we had known we
were over our limit.

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  | Ch. 7±8
 *neffective Persuasive
Request Letter
It seems to me that your approval system is at fault here.
And why aren't new cardholders informed of your rules? The
charges we made exceeding the limit were clearly unintentional.
Furthermore, our actions were made on the basis of misinformation
and errors on the part of your credit processors.

Angrily yours,

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  | Ch. 7±9
 *neffective Persuasive
Request Letter
Discussion:
1. Does the opening o tain the reader's attention
in a positive manner?
2. Why does the writer think that the $120 penalty
is unreasona le? Does the writer offer
convincing reasons? Are they logically
presented?
3. Does the writer try to lame the ank for the
penalty?
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  | Ch. 7±10
 *neffective Persuasive
Request Letter
Discussion:
4. What action does the writer seek?
5. Is that action clearly stated?
6. Does the letter show courtesy and respect?
7. How would you feel if you were the receiver?

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  | Ch. 7±11
 *mproved Persuasive
Request Letter

Dear Mr. Watson:

SUBJECT: ³Over-the-Limit´ Credit Card Charges

Because of the wide acceptance of the Visa credit card and

because of your bank's attractive interest rate, my wife and I were
eager to become cardholders two years ago. Recently, however,
we experienced a charge to our account that we would like to
discuss with you.

Between the period of August 7 and September 27, we made 12

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  | Ch. 7±12
 *mproved Persuasive
Request Letter
small purchases. Ten of these purchases were given telephone
approval. When we received our last statement, a copy of which is
enclosed, we were surprised to see that we were charged $10
each for these purchases because our account was over our limit.
The total charge was $120.

Of course, we should have been more aware of our limit and the
number of charges that we were making against our account. We
assumed, however, that if our purchases received telephone
approval from your credit processors, we were still within our credit
limit.

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  | Ch. 7±13
 *mproved Persuasive
Request Letter
Please examine our account, Mr. Watson, and reconsider this
penalty. Since we have never exceeded our credit limit in the past
and since we had received telephone approval for most of the
charges in question, we feel that the $120 charge should be
removed.

Sincerely,

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  | Ch. 7±14
 >ood and Bad Openings for
Persuasive Requests
Which of the following openings are
effective?
1. About 15 months ago your smooth-talking
salesperson seduced us into buying your Model RX
copier, which has been nothing but trouble ever
since.
2. If you will check your records, you will undoubtedly
discover that we first obtained our model RX copier
15 months ago. It was installed in our Legal
Department.
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  | Ch. 7±15
 >ood and Bad Openings for
Persuasive Requests
Which of the following openings are
effective?
u. When we purchased our Model RX copier 15 months
ago, we had high expectations for its performance.
4. We need a speaker for our graduation ceremony, and
your name was suggested.
5. Would you be able to speak at our graduation
ceremony on June 7?

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  | Ch. 7±16
 >ood and Bad Openings for
Persuasive Requests
Which of the following openings are
effective?
-. We realize that you are an extremely busy individual
and that you must be booked up months in advance,
but would it be possible for you to speak at our
graduation ceremony on June 7?
7. You were voted by our students as the speaker they
would most like to hear at graduation on June 7.

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  | Ch. 7±17
 *neffective Favor Request

Honorable David H. Davis

California House of Representatives
Sacramento, CA 95030
Dear Mr. Davis:

Would you be interested in speaking to the students at Foothill

College?

If you would be in town on April 16, our Associated Student

Organization is having a Career Awareness Day. Many of our

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  | Ch. 7±18
 *neffective Favor Request

15,000 students (and most are registered voters in your district) will
be attending this function where three major speakers have been
invited.

We hope to find good speakers from industry, education, and

politics. Our ASO voted you the politician they would most like to
hear. We could offer you 30 minutes to impart information about
politics as a career, its rewards, and its punishments.

Our Career Awareness Day will contain information booths;

students can talk about careers and learn about them at these

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  | Ch. 7±19
 *neffective Favor Request

booths. Then the three speakers will follow these booths at 12

noon in the Campus Center.

Let me know by March 15 if you'd like to be one of our speakers.

We'd enjoy having you and it could be good for you, too. If you let
me know early enough, we can get some publicity out.

Sincerely,

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  | Ch. 7±20
 *neffective Favor Request

Discuss the faults in the previous letter.

1. Starts out directly with a question that could
e answered negatively
2. Provides an easy excuse for refusal (in
second sentence)
3. Fails to emphasize reader enefits
(opportunity to influence 15,000 potential
voters)

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  | Ch. 7±21
 *neffective Favor Request

Discuss the faults in the previous letter.

4. Lacks unity in sentences and paragraphs
5. Focuses on writer's viewpoint rather than on
reader's
6. Uses imprecise words and inappropriate
syntax
7. Closes without making it easy for reader to
grant favor
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  | Ch. 7±22
 *mproved Favor Request

Honorable David H. Davis

California House of Representatives
Sacramento, CA 95030
Dear Mr. Davis:

Over 15,000 students attend Foothill College, and many are

registered voters in your district.

On Thursday, April 16, you will be able to introduce yourself to

these potential voters at the Associated Student Organization's
Career Awareness Day. On this day we plan to have three major

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  | Ch. 7±23
 *mproved Favor Request

speakers representing industry, education, and politics. Our Career

Awareness Day features information booths where students may
learn more about specific careers. The program culminates with
the major addresses given in the Campus Center at 12 noon.

As one of the three featured speakers, you would have 30 minutes

to describe a career in politics and its rewards and possible
drawbacks. You were selected by our ASO as the politician they
would most like to hear.

To give Foothill students an opportunity to meet you and to learn

about a career in politics, please call me at 320-5832 to confirm

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  | Ch. 7±24
 *mproved Favor Request

this speaking engagement. We will need your approval by March

15 so that appropriate publicity may be prepared.

Cordially,

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  | Ch. 7±25
 ^riting Plan for a Sales Letter

‡ pening
‡ Capture the attention of the reader.
‡ Body
‡ Emphasize a central selling point.
‡ Appeal to the needs of the reader.
‡ Create a desire for the product.
‡ Introduce the price strategically.

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  | Ch. 7±26
 ^riting Plan for a Sales Letter

‡ Closing
‡ Stimulate the reader to act.

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  | Ch. 7±27
`ttention->etters for Sales Letters

1. ffer
Ëollow my entry instructions, and you
could be the sole winner of ONE
MILLION DOLLARS!
2. Product Feature
Six Omaha steak filets from fine, corn-fed
beef can be yours for only $-2.95.

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  | Ch. 7±28
`ttention->etters for Sales Letters

3. Question
Do you yearn for an honest, fulfilling
relationship?
4. Startling Statement
Drunk drivers injure or cripple more than
500,000 victims every year!

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  | Ch. 7±29
`ttention->etters for Sales Letters

5. Story
Ñommy G. doesn't live in a neighborhood
like yours. He has grown up in a
neighborhood with dirty alleyways and drug
dealers. If only he could go to camp, he'd
see how beautiful life can be.

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  | Ch. 7±30
 *neffective Sales Letter

Dear Camera Owner:

Hi! I'm Jim Johnson and I'm asking you to continue to use Kent
Color Labs for the processing of your film.

We've been in business for a long time and our customers tell us
they are quite satisfied with our service and the quality of our
processing.

We feel that you can't get better prices anywhere. We are also very
proud of our guarantee. No matter what we receive from you, you

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  | Ch. 7±31
 *neffective Sales Letter

don't risk a cent.

We offer a whole range of other services--reprints, posters, slides,

disks, and much more. Furthermore, we are very careful with your
film; we treat it as we treat our own.

Are you tired of asking yourself, "Where should I get my film

developed?" Well, Kent Color labs is the place to go. We rely on
the U.S. mail for our business, and this letter is our way of asking
for your business. Send us your next roll of film to be developed as
soon as you finish it.

Sincerely,

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  | Ch. 7±32
 iscussion for *neffective Sales
Letter to Camera Owner
1. Does the opening gra your
attention?
2. Is a central selling point developed?
3. Is the letter written from the reader's
perspective?
4. Should this letter develop rational or
emotional appeals?
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  | Ch. 7±33
 iscussion for *neffective Sales
Letter to Camera Owner
5. Does the letter use concrete
examples?
6. Does it uild confidence in the
product or service?
7. Does it stimulate action in the
closing?

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  | Ch. 7±34
 *mproved Sales Letter

Dear Camera Owner:

Amy Evans, of Houston, Texas, recently wrote to us saying, "I just

wanted to let you know that the pictures you developed for me
earlier were the best pictures I have ever received. And I can't
believe I received them so quickly!"

If you are looking for quality film developing, speedy turnaround,

and, most importantly, reliability±consider Kent Color Labs. Here's
why our customers keep returning:

‡ You get low film processing prices and excellent quality.

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  | Ch. 7±35
 *mproved Sales Letter

‡ You get a whole range of services±reprints, enlargements, giant

photo posters, wallet photos, slides, movies, discs, and more.

‡ You get film mailing envelopes manufactured from special long-

fibered paper making them stronger than normal envelopes.

‡ You get convenience±no more standing in line at the drugstore or

camera store. And it's fun to receive mail!

We're best known, however, for our reliability. We've been in

business for more than 47 years. The minute we receive your
order, it's processed! You can count on that every time.

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  | Ch. 7±36
 *mproved Sales Letter

Because we're so certain that you will be pleased, we guarantee

every roll of film. If you're not satisfied, simply return the whole
package. We will cheerfully refund your money and send you free
film and a coupon to get that film processed without charge. This is
the best guarantee in the business.

We want your business. Right now, finish that film in your camera.
Grab a pen, fill out the enclosed mailer, and drop it in the mail.

Sincerely,

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  | Ch. 7±37
 *mproved Sales Letter

P.S. If you respond within one week, we'll process your order at an
additional savings of 20 percent.

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  | Ch. 7±38
 Checklist for `nalyzing
a Sales Letter
1. At what audience is the letter
aimed?
2. Is the appeal emotional or rational?
Is the appeal effective?
3. Is the opening effective?
4. What techniques capture the
reader's attention?
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  | Ch. 7±39
 Checklist for `nalyzing
a Sales Letter
5. Is a central selling point
emphasized?
6. Does the letter emphasize reader
enefits?
7. What are some examples of
concrete language?

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  | Ch. 7±40
 Checklist for `nalyzing
a Sales Letter
A. How is confidence in the product or
service developed?
9. How is price introduced?
10. What action is to e taken and how
is the reader motivated to take that
action?

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  | Ch. 7±41
 |nd

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  | Ch. 7±42