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Overview

Indirectness in Bad-News Messages

Why Indirect Order for Bad News Messages
A General Indirect Order Plan
Adaptations of the General Plan to Specific Situations
Refused requests
Refused Adjustments
Credit Refusals
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Bad News Message Usually in

Indirect Order

 Why?
 Bad news is received more positively when

preceded by explanation.
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But Exceptions Can Be Made

Examples:
 When the message will be routinely accepted
 When you know frankness is wanted

 When goodwill not a concern (a rare case)

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The General Indirect Plan

 Begin with a strategic buffer
 Words that set up your strategy and
 Acknowledge any preceding messages

 Develop the strategy

 Present the bad news positively

 End with goodwill, specifically adapted.

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Possible Buffers for Opening Bad-

News Messages

 Best news
 Appreciation

 Agreement

 Facts

 Understanding

 Apology
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Evaluating Buffer Statements

How effective is the following opening for a letter

that refuses to grant credit?

1. Unfortunately, your application for credit has been

reviewed negatively.
(Reveals bad news bluntly)
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Evaluating Buffer Statements

How effective is the following opening for a letter

that refuses to grant credit?

2. We are delighted to receive your application for credit.

(Gives wrong impression)
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Evaluating Buffer Statements

How effective is the following opening for a letter

that refuses to grant credit?

3. The recent resurgence of interest in the stock market

caught many of us by surprise.
(Is not relevant)
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Evaluating Buffer Statements

How effective is the following opening for a letter

that refuses a request for a donation?
1. Your request for a monetary contribution has been
referred to me for reply.
(Fails to engage reader)
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Evaluating Buffer Statements

How effective is the following opening for a letter

that refuses a request for a donation?
2. We appreciate the fine work your organization is doing to
provide early childhood programs that meet the needs of
parents and very young children.
(Compliments reader but doesn’t imply approval)
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Preliminary Considerations in Writing

a Refused Request
 The news is bad.
 The reader wants something; you must refuse.

 Your goals are:

 to say no, and
 to maintain goodwill.

 Thefirst goal is easy; the second requires tact.

 You must present reasons that will convince.
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Presenting the Reasons

 Be cautious in explaining.
 Cite reader benefits, if possible.

 Explain company policy, if relevant.

 Choose positive words.

 Show that the matter was treated seriously and

fairly.
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Techniques for Deemphasizing

Bad News

 Avoid the spotlight. Put the bad news in the middle

of a paragraph halfway through the message.
 Use a long sentence. Don’t put the bad news in a

short, simple sentence.

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Techniques for Deemphasizing

Bad News

 Place the bad news in a subordinate clause.

Although we have no position for an individual with your
qualifications at this time, we are pleased that you
thought of us when you started your job search.
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Techniques for Deemphasizing

Bad News

 Use the passive voice.

Instead of this: Try this:

We cannot make a A contribution cannot
contribution at this time. be made at this time.
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Techniques for Deemphasizing

Bad News
 Be clear but not overly graphic.
Instead of this: Try this:
Our investigation reveals Our investigation reveals
that you owe three creditors that your employment status
large sums and that you were and your financial position
fired from your last job. are unstable at this time.
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Techniques for Deemphasizing
Bad News
 Imply the refusal.
Instead of this:
We cannot contribute to your
charity this year.
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Try this:
Although all our profits must
be reinvested in our
company this year, we hope
to be able to support your
future fund-raising activities.
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Techniques for Deemphasizing

Bad News
 Suggest an alternative.
Although the product ordered cannot be sold at the incorrectly
listed price of $18, we can allow you to purchase this $218
item for only $118.
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Using the Passive Voice

 Passive-voice verbs focus attention on actions

rather than on personalities. They are useful in
being tactful.
Active voice: Passive voice:
I cannot allow you to return Return of the VCR is not
the VCR because . . . . allowed because . . . .
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Using the Passive Voice

Passive-voice verbs focus attention on

actions rather than on personalities. They are
useful in being tactful.
Active voice: Passive voice:
Ryan checked the report, but The report was checked, but
he missed the error. the error was missed.
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Using the Passive Voice

Notice that passive-voice verb phrases always

include “helper” verbs.
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Using the Passive Voice

 Examples of “helper” verbs forming passive voice:

 The report was checked.
 The schedule is being revised.

 Invitations were sent.

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Try Your Skill

Convert the following statement from active to

passive voice.
 I am unable to make a cash contribution this year because
of unusually high taxes.
A cash contribution cannot be made this year because of
unusually high taxes.
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Try Your Skill

Convert the following statement from active to

passive voice.
 We cannot process your application this month.
The application cannot be processed this month.
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Try Your Skill

Convert the following statement from active to

passive voice.
 I have examined your employment record and found that
you have little cost accounting experience.
Examination of your employment record has revealed that
you have little cost accounting experience.
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Try Your Skill

Convert the following statement from active to

passive voice.
 Mark made a programming error that delayed our project.
A programming error was made that delayed our project.
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Indirect Plan for Bad News

The message plan:
Opening  Begin with words that identify the subject, are
neutral, and set up the message.
Body  Present reasons using positive language and you-
viewpoint.
 Refuse clearly and positively, embedding where
possible to de-emphasize the negative.
 Include a counterproposal or compromise when
appropriate.
Closing  End with an adapted goodwill comment.
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Closing Bad-News Messages

Avoid endings that sound canned, insincere,

inappropriate, or self-serving. Try to personalize the
closing with:
 A forward look.
 An alternative to the refusal.

 Good wishes.

 Freebies.

 Resale or sales promotion.

 Larry_Bragg@callawaygolf.com

Request for alumni information

Mr. Bragg,
Your study of the progress of State University graduates is most commendable. We
are pleased that you would ask our help in your efforts.

In reviewing the requirements of your project, we find that it would be necessary to

search through the personnel files of each of our 10,000 employees. As our regular staff
is already working at capacity, may we suggest that we make our files available to you
or your representatives? We ask only that you protect the confidentially of the
information in the files. We would be pleased to give you working space in the records
center. And we would assure you of the cooperation and assistance of our records
personnel.

As another alternative, may we suggest that you use a part-time student worker who is
already acquainted with our files. From time to time, Ms. Mary Mahoney has worked in
 Larry_Bragg@callawaygolf.com

Request for alumni information

center. And we would assure you of the cooperation and assistance of our records
personnel.

As another alternative, may we suggest that you use a part-time student worker who is
already acquainted with our file system. From time to time, Ms. Mary Mahoney has
worked in our file center. We estimate that she could do your work in about five weeks,
working her customary twenty hours a week. The cost would be about $900. If you
prefer this arrangement, we would be pleased to contact her for you.

We expect that these suggestions will help you in completing your project. We look
forward to reading the results in the Alumni Bulletin.
Terry
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Preliminary Considerations in Writing

Adjustment Refusals (1 of 2)
 The decision has been made to refuse an
unjustified claim.
 The news is bad.

 The goal is to present the bad news in a

positive way.
 Thus, you must think through the situation to
develop a strategy to explain or justify the
decision.
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Brief Review of Procedure for

Adjustment Refusals (2 of 2)
The message plan:
Opening  Begin with words that
 are off subject,
 are neutral, and
 set up the message.
Body Present the strategy that will explain or justify.


 Make it factual and positive.

 Lead systematically to the refusal.

 Then refuse--clearly and positively.

Closing  End with off-subject, friendly words.

 Jason Mertz

Payment on Invoice C2002

Mr. Mertz:
Thank you for your check for $945.07 on Invoice C 2002.

Although it is a small matter, I feel that you will want to look over this invoice.
Probably you just looked at the wrong column, but you will see that you wrote the
check for the amount less the discount. As you know, the discount is allowed only
when payment is made within ten days of billing. As Invoice C2002 is now 45 days
past this date, we are crediting your account with $945.07, leaving an unpaid balance
of $29.23. I am confident you will understand.

Working with you and your excellent organization, Mr. Mertz, is always a pleasure.
We look forward to serving you again real soon.
Ray Rojas
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Preliminary Considerations in Writing

Credit Refusals (1 of 2)
 Refusals of credit are very negative, tending to
reflect on one’s personal qualities.
 They should be handled tactfully
 because it is the friendly way to do it, and
 because it is profitable.

 Begin by developing an explanation.

 If finances are weak--can be fairly direct.
 If morals are weak--should be tactful.
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Brief Review of Procedure for

Credit Refusals (2 of 2)
The message plan:
Opening  Begin with words that
 are neutral, and
 tie in with document being answered.
 set up the strategy (explanation).

Body  Present the explanation and/or justification.

 As a logical follow-up--refuse tactfully.
 If to a bad moral risk, may be by implication.
 If to one with weak finances,
 should refuse positively, and
 look hopefully to the future.

Closing  Close with goodwill words that fit the one case
and are friendly and forward-looking.
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Tact in a Credit Refusal (1 of 3)

Opening
Dear Ms. Herrera:
Your March 29 order and accompanying request
for credit were genuinely appreciated. We are
Click to view full letter especially grateful for your pleasant frankness in
with Acrobat Reader.
Available from
presenting your request for credit. The statements,
adobe.com. trade references, and explanations were most
helpful.
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Tact in a Credit Refusal (2 of 3)

Body
In checking over them, we find that you have an
unusually heavy burden of invoices to pay within
the next few months. As we see it, burdening you
with more bills to pay at this time simply would not
make good business sense. Thus, we can sell to
you only for cash now. By buying for cash and
taking advantage of the cash discount, you would
be taking a sound step toward improving the
financial health of your business. Just as soon as
your situation is improved, we shall open your
account.
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Tact in a Credit Refusal (3 of 3)

Closing
We look forward to receiving your check for
$730.69 ($745.60 less the $14.91 discount).
When we get it, we’ll rush your merchandise to
you.
Sincerely,

Susan Yassine
Susan Yassine
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Writing Plan for Refusing Requests

or Claims

Buffer
 Start with a neutral statement on which both reader and
writer can agree, such as a compliment, an expression of
appreciation, a quick review of the facts, or an apology.
Transition
 Try to include a key idea or word that acts as a transition
to the explanation.
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Writing Plan for Refusing Requests

or Claims

Reasons
 Present valid reasons for the refusal, avoiding words that
create a negative tone.
 Include resale or sales promotion, if appropriate.

Bad News
 Soften the blow by positioning the bad news strategically,
using the passive voice, accentuating the positive, or
implying a refusal.
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Writing Plan for Refusing Requests

or Claims

Alternative
 Suggest a compromise or substitute, if possible.

Closing
 Renew good feelings with a positive statement.
 Look forward to continued business.
 Avoid referring to the bad news.
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Writing Plan for Announcing Bad News

to Customers and Employees

Buffer
 Open with a compliment, appreciation, facts, or some form
of good news.

Transition
 Include a key idea that leads from the opening to the
reasons.
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Writing Plan for Announcing Bad News

to Customers and Employees

Reasons
 Explain the logic behind the bad news.
 Use positive words.
 Try to show reader benefits, if possible.

Bad News
 Position the bad news so that it does not stand out. Consider
implying the bad news.
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Writing Plan for Announcing Bad News

to Customers and Employees

Alternative
 Suggest a compromise or substitute, if possible .

Closing
 Look forward positively.
 Provide information about an alternative, if appropriate.
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“ To speak kindly does not hurt

the tongue.”
--Unknown