HABIT 5

SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND,

THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD.
CALAMBA REGIONAL OFFICE

ESPIRITU, ANDREW G.
LORENZO, ROSALINDA T.
MALDO, JOVEN O.
HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND,
THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD.
Influence others by developing a deep understanding of their
needs and perspectives.
 Communicate effectively at all levels of the organization.

 Communication is the most important skills in life.

 You spend years learning how to read and write,

and years learning how to speak.
 But what about listening?

What training have you had that enables you to listen, so

you really deeply understand another human being?
“SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND,
THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD”
 4 BASIC TYPES OF COMMUNICATION

1. READING 2. WRITING

3. SPEAKING 4. LISTENING
“Your example and your character are the
key to influencing other.”
“The kind of person you truly are. The way
the other person truly experiences you.”
 “Most people do not listen with the intent to
understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

- DR. STEPHEN R. COVEY

 4 LEVELS OF LISTENING

1. We may be ignoring another person, not really listening at all.

2. We may practice pretending.

3. We may practice selective listening, hearing only certain parts of the

conversation.

4. We may practice attentive listening, paying attention and focusing

energy on the words that are being said.
 EMPATHIC LISTENING
“Empathic (from empathy) listening gets inside another person’s
frame of reference. You look out through it, you see the world the
way you see the world, you understand their paradigm, you
understand how they feel.”
 “EMPATHY IS NOT
SYMPATHY”
“The essence of emphatic listening is not that you are agree with
someone, but rather, it’s that you fully and deeply understand that
person, both emotionally and intellectually.”

 Emphatic listening helps you deal with the

reality inside another person’s head and heart.
 PSYCHOLOGICAL SURVIVAL
- to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated and
to be appreciated.
 “You can’t achieve maximum level of
interdependent results together, if you
don’t have an understanding of where
other’s are coming from.”
 4 Developmental Stages of
Emphatic Listening
1. Mimic content. This is the skill taught in “active” or “reflective”
listening. Without the character and relationship base, it is often
insulting to people and causes them to close up. It is, however a first
stage skill because it at least cases you to listen to what’s being said.

2. Rephrase the content. It’s a little more effective, but it’s still
limited to the verbal communication.
3. You reflect feeling.

4. You rephrase the content and reflect the feeling.

 “We need to set a side our
autobiographies and really seek to
understand.”
“It’s more effective since you’ll be working
from an accurate understanding of the
problems that comes when the person
feels deeply understood.”
Autobiographical Listening
Is the filtering what others say through your own
story, experiences, prejudices, biases and values.

When you listen autobiographically, you are often

listening with the intent to reply rather than to
understand.
 Because you are so often listen autobiographically,
You tend to respond in one of four ways:

1. Evaluating: 2. Probing:

You judge and then either agree or You ask questions from your own
disagree. frame of reference.
3. Advising: 4. Interpreting:

You analyze other’s motives and

You give counsel, advise and
behaviors based on your own
solutions to problems.
experiences.
SECOND PART

Seek to Understood
- requires maturity. The balance between courage and
consideration.

 Seeking to understand requires consideration.

 Seeking to be understood take courage.

Ethos, Pathos and Logos

• Ethos – your personal credibility, the faith people you have in your
integrity and competency.
• It’s the trust that you inspire.
• Pathos – emphatic side – it’s the feeling. It means that you are in
alignment with the emotional thrust of another person’s
communication.
• Logos – the logic, the reasoning of the presentation.
 When you can present your own ideas clearly,
specifically, visually and most important contextually – in
the context of deep understanding of other people’s
paradigms and concerns – you significantly increase the
credibility of your ideas.
HABIT 5 is also:

 is in our circle of influence.

 Inside-out approach.

 Is a powerful habit of effective

interdependence.
 THIRD PART

____ _________________________
Seek First to Understand… …Then to Be Understood

SKILKLS REFLECT SKILL STATE YOUR

INTENT LISTEN TO INTENT SEEK TO BE
FEELINGS AND POINT OF VIEWING
UNDERSTAND UNDERSTOOD
WORDS USING “I” MESSAGE

You feel _ _ _ _ _ about _ _ _ _ _.”

I feel _ _ _ _ _ about _ _ _ _ _.”
 SUMMARY

Habit 5:  : Seek First to Understand, Then to Be

Understood is the habit of listening to other
people's ideas and feelings. It's trying to see
things from their viewpoints. I listen to others
without interrupting.​
 SUMMARY

Stephen Covey presents this habit as

the most important principle
of interpersonal relations. ​
 SUMMARY

Effective listening is not simply echoing what the

other person has said through the lens of one's own
experience. Rather, it is putting oneself in
the perspective of the other person, listening
empathically for both feeling and meaning. 
THANK YOU! 