How to Handle Difficult Customers

Aikido principles to help you redirect anger

through self control and highly tactical strategies
 • Unifying with life
Verbal •
energy
Blending with
motion and

Aikido •
redirecting energy
Goal is for
practitioner to
What it is and how it can
defend self while
work for you
protecting attacker
from injury
Aikido Demonstrations
What difficult customers want
1. Their problem
solved
2. Helpfulness on
your part
3. To feel they have
choices
4. Acknowledgement
 Strategically
Calm Down the
Attack
An Akidoist strategically
calms down the attack
“Clearly you’re upset. I
want you to know that
getting to the bottom of
this is just as important
to us as it is to you.”
 Psychology of Customer
Anger
1. Anger precludes rationality
2. Anger must be acknowledged
3. Anger diffusion results in a lesser
payout
4. Ventilation is crucial
 Strategically Encouraging
Calm
• Use a calm tone and non-
inflammatory words
• Speak slowly
• Avoid escalating your voice
• Never threaten the customer with
inflammatory statements like: “If you don’t
calm down, I can’t help you.”
 Strategically Encouraging
Calm
• Express empathy
– Not to be confused with sympathy
– “I realize this whole thing must be
frustrating for you.”
 Strategically Encouraging
Calm
• Help customers feel they have
choices
– Very important for customers to feel they
have some control over the outcomes
– Give them options and let them make
choices, even small ones
– Reducing choices and removing
privileges tends to encourage aggression
 Strategically Encouraging
Calm
• Let customer know their feelings are
important
– Natural calming mechanism
– “Thank you for taking the time to let us
know about this. We appreciate the
opportunity to clarify what we think has
happened here.”
 Strategically Encouraging
Calm
• Don’t inadvertently encourage hostile
behavior
– Saying, “This is all I can do.”
– Rolling your eyes
– Folded arms
– Looking away
– Saying, “What do you expect me to do.”
– Walking away from a hostile customer
Adapt
Adopt
Apply
Never Meet
Force with
Force
Aikido never meets
force with force

Never respond
defensively or with a
counter attack
What your customer is counting on…

1 When attacked, you will

respond defensively
2 When attacked, you
will counterattack
A Defensive Response
 I’m doing the best I can.
 Sir, I work in customer service; I
had nothing to do with your
problem.
 We would never say (do)
anything like that.
The Counterattack
 Stop yelling or I will hang up.
 Your mother should have taught
you manners.
 You don’t know what you’re
talking about.
 How to Respond to a Verbal Attack Non-
Defensively and without Attacking,
Decisive “movements”
• “I’m trying to help you, but if you continue to yell and
swear, I am going to ask that you call back another
time. It’s up to you…which would you prefer?”
• “I’m sorry. It isn’t possible to help while listening to
that language. If it stops, I can help.”
• “If a few minutes helps you calm down before we
continue, that would be fine. You can certainly call
me back.”
• “I want to help you, yet the language is getting in the
way.”
 Hot Buttons
• Disparaging statements that
evoke a negative reaction.
The words alone have no significance.
• If we allow our buttons to be
pushed, our ability to handle
customers diminishes.
Identify and Neutralize Your
Hot Buttons
The more often you retrieve
and think about your hot
buttons under non-
confrontational conditions,
the less likely they will
trigger a negative
emotional response.
Say what you mean.

Mean what you say.

Don’t be mean when

you say it.
4 Things You Should Never
Do With an Upset Customer
1. Threaten
2. Rebut issues
3. Belabor a point
4. Argue