Chapter 11: Interpersonal

Conflict and Conflict

Management
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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 1)

 Preliminaries to
Interpersonal Conflict

1. Definition of interpersonal conflict

 Occurs when people are interdependent
 Mutually aware of incompatible goals
 See each other as interfering with achieving
goals

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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 2)

 Preliminaries to
Interpersonal Conflict (cont.)

2. Myths about interpersonal conflict

 Conflict is best avoided
 Conflict is a sign of a troubled relationship
 Conflict damages a relationship
 Conflict is destructive because it reveals our
bad sides
 In conflict, there has to be a winner and a loser

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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 3)

 Principles of
Interpersonal Conflict

1. Conflict is inevitable
2. Conflict can have negative and positive
effects
 Negative effects
 Leads to bad feelings
 You close yourself off
 Increases costs

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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 4)

 Principles of Interpersonal
Conflict (cont.)

2. Negative and positive effects (cont.)

 Positive effects
 Resolves problems
 Improves relationships
 Demonstrates commitment to relationship
3. Conflict can focus on content and/or
relationship issues
 Relationship conflicts – equity and power
 Relationship conflicts hide as content conflicts
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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 5)

 Principles of Interpersonal
Conflict (cont.)

4. Conflict styles have consequences

 Competing – I win, you lose
 Avoiding – I lose, you lose
 Accommodating – I lose, you win
 Collaborating – I win, you win
 Compromising – I win and lose; you win and
lose

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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 6)

 Principles of Interpersonal
Conflict (cont.)

5. Conflict is influenced by culture

 Topics
 High context cultures fight about violations of group
norms
 Low context cultures fight about violations of personal
norms
 Nature of conflict
 Conflict strategies
 Organizational norms
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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 7)

 Conflict Management Stages

1. Set the stage

 Fight in private
 Be sure you both are ready to fight
 Know what you’re fighting about
 Fight about things that can be solved

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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 8)

 Conflict Management Stages (cont.)

2. Define the conflict

 Define both content and relationship issues
 Define the problem in specific terms
 Focus on the present; avoid gunnysacking
 Empathize
 Avoid mind reading
3. Examine possible solutions

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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 9)

 Conflict Management Stages (cont.)

4. Test the solution

5. Evaluate the solution
 Fact hat
 Feeling hat
 Negative argument hat
 Positive benefit hat
 Creative new idea hat
 Control of thinking hat
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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 10)

 Conflict Management Stages (cont.)

6. Accept or reject the solution

7. Wrap it up
 Learn from the process
 Don’t let the conflict overtake your relationship
 Increase cherishing behaviors

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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 11)

 Conflict Management Strategies

1. Factors that influence your choice of

strategy
 Goals
 Emotional state
 Cognitive assessment of what’s fair and who
caused the conflict
 Personality and communication competence
 Family history

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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 12)

 Conflict Management
Strategies (cont.)

2. Win-lose and win-win strategies

3. Avoidance of conflict and active fight
strategies
 Avoidance
 Physical
 Emotional or cognitive
 Demand withdrawal
 Non-negotiation
 Silencers
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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 13)

 Conflict Management
Strategies (cont.)

4. Force and talk strategies

 Force
 Physically force your position on the other
 Emotionally force your position on the other
 Talk strategies
 Act the role of listener
 Express support and empathy
 State thoughts and feelings

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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 14)

 Conflict Management
Strategies (cont.)

5. Face-attacking and face-enhancing

strategies: Politeness in conflict
 Face-attacking – criticizing someone or
making demands
 Face-enhancing – support or confirm someone
 Destructive behaviors
 Beltlining
 Blaming

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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 15)

 Conflict Management
Strategies (cont.)

6. Verbal aggressiveness and

argumentativeness strategies
 Aggressiveness
 Unproductive
 Trying to win at the other’s expense
 disconfirming
 Argumentativeness
 Should be cultivated
 Argue your point of view
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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 16)

 Conflict Management
Strategies (cont.)

6. Argumentativeness strategies (cont.)

 Cultivating argumentativeness
 Be objective
 Avoid attacking the other person
 Reaffirm the other’s competence
 Avoid interrupting
 Stress equality
 Express interest in the other’s viewpoint
 Avoid being overly emotional
 Allow the other to save face
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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 17)