EXCESSIVE OR OVERLAPPING

SUBORDINATION/ AWKWARD
COORDINATION

OBJECTIVE:
TO ENABLE STUDENTS TO PROPERLY USE
COORDINATION AND SUBORDINATION
 EXCESSIVE OR
OVERLAPPING
SUBORDINATION
 • I have never before
known a man like Ernie,
my friend who is always
AWKWARD ready to help anybody
who is in trouble that
involves finances.

• I have never before known

a man like my friend Ernie,
who is always ready to help
BETTER anybody in finacial
trouble.
 • These were the voters who
were concerned about
unemployment that kept
AWKWARD rising, who were worried
about the dollar, which was
diminishing in value.

• These were the voters

concerned about
BETTER rising unemployment
and the diminishing
value of the dollar.
 • These voters
were concerned
about rising
unemployment
BETTER and the
dimishing
value of the
dollar.
Do not string main clauses
together with and, so, or,
but when ideas should be
subordinated. Use
coordination only to give
ideas equal emphasis.
 • I wanted to go to college, so
I mowed and trimmed
AWKWARD lawns all summer, and that
way I could earn enough
money to pay my tuition.

• Because I wanted to go to
college, I mowed and
BETTER trimmed lawns all
summer to earn enough
money to pay my tuition.
 • Burns won, and it
AWKWARD
was a landslide vote,
but he had rigged
the election.

• Having rigged the

BETTER
election, Burns won
by a landslide vote.
 • The offer was tempting,
but I did not accept it.
COORDINATION
• (Equal grammatical stress
on the offer and the
refusal)

• Although the offer was tempting, I

did not accept it. (Stress on the
refusal)
SUBORDINATION • Although I did not accept it, the
offer was tempting. (Stress on the
offer)
 • Rose of Sharon doesn’t
understand the extent of her
Over- familiy’s troubles, and she is
coordination excited about her pregnancy.
• (It suggests equal emphasis.)

• Rose of sharon, excited

about her pregnancy, doesn’t
understand the extent of her
Better family’s troubles.
 • California, which seemed a million
miles away, was where the Joabs,
Over- despite the warning that there
subordination actually was no work, were going.

• The Joabs were going to california,

despite the warning that there
actually was no work. California
seemed a million miles away.

Better • California seemed a million miles

away; however, that’s where the Joabs
were going, despite the warning that
there actually was no work.
 EMPHASIS IN THE SENTENCE
The relative importance of ideas in a sentence may
be shown by various devices of structure. The
principle used is EMPHASIS.

Emphasis is a word that may be understood in

more than one sense. A speaker may emphasize
his words by shouting or screaming them; a writer
may emphasize words by indicating that they be
printed in italics or capitals. But this is not the
sense in which the word is used in writing.
Emphasis implies the use of
rhetorical devices that show
the relative importance or
prominence of ideas and
details in a sentence or
paragraph.
Emphasis may be achieved as
follows:
1. By placing the important idea by itself in a
short sentence.
2. By placing the idea in a main clause of a
complex sentence.
3. By changing the usual order of the
sentence.
4. By using parallel structure.
5. By using the order of climax.
6. By repeating key words.
7. By using the active instead of the passive.

8. By giving an important idea fuller

treatment. (complete development)

9. By placing prominent words in prominent

positions.

10. By using periodic structure.

11. By Abruptly changing sentence length.

1. Placing important words in
the important positions in the
sentence (Beginning/End of
the sentence)
• The student who cheats in an
Weak examination is cheating only
himself in the final analysis.

• The student who cheats in an

Better examination is, in the final
analysis, cheating only himself.
 • Public speaking should be
Weak taught in freshmen English,
I think.

• Public speaking, I
think, should be taught
in freshmen English.
Better • Public speaking should
be taught in freshmen
English.
2.By placing the idea in a main clause of a
complex sentence.
• You are the first trainee hired for this
program. (Use a simple sentence for
emphasis.)
Emphatic • Although we considered many
candidates, you are the first trainee
hired for this program. (Independent
clause contains the main idea.)

• Although you are the first trainee that

we have hired for this program, we had
Unemphatic many candidates and expect to expand
the program in the future. (Main idea is lost
in a dependent clause.)
3. By changing the usual order of the senetence.

•I did not want

Weak
sympathy!

•Sympathy I did
Emphatic
not want!
4. By using parallel structure and
order of climax.
..

• Our English teacher asked us

to write a short theme, to close
Weak our books, and to take pen
and paper.

• Our English teacher asked us

to close our books, to take pen
Emphatic and paper, and to write a short
theme.
 • Urban life is morally
corrupt, fundamentally
Weak inhuman, and unhealthy.

• Urban life is unhealthy,

morally corrupt, and
fundamentally inhuman.
Emphatic (Adjectives in the series
arranged in climatic order)
 • They could hear the shrieks
of the wounded, the crash of
Weak the falling timbers, and the
roar of the artillery.

• They could hear the roar

of the artillery, the crash
Emphatic of the falling timbers, and
the shrieks of the
wounded.
5. By repeating key words.
It is impossible to be simultaneously blasted by a revolution in energy,
in technology, in family life, in sexual roles, and in world
communications without also facing—sooner or later—a potentially
explosive political insurrection.

(Weak)

It is impossible to be simultaneously blasted by a revolution

in energy, a revolution in technology, a revolution in family
life, a revolution in sexual roles, and a worldwide revolution
in communications without also facing—sooner or later—a
potentially explosive political revolution. –Alvin
Toffler

(Emphatic)
 6. By Using the Active Voice
instead of the passive Voice.
• Little attention is being paid
Unemphatic
to cheap, nutritious foods by
the average shopper.

• The average shopper is

Emphatic paying little attention to
cheap, nutritious foods.
 • If the receiver of the action is more
important than the doer, the passive
voice is more effective.
Exception

• There in the tin factory, in the first

moment of the atomic age, a human
being was crashed by books.
Examples –John Hersey
• Freedom can be squashed by the tyrant
or suffocated by the bureaucrat.
–William F. Rickenbacker
7. By using periodic structure
(Occasionally one may express a thought more
effectively by changing a sentence from the loose to the
periodic form.)

A periodic sentence is one in which the main

idea is held until the end ; a loose sentence is
one in which the main idea is followed by
details and modifiers.
The effect of a periodic sentence is one of
suspense—that is, the reader is asked to
wait for the main idea until after he has
comprehended the details upon which the
main idea is based or by which it is
limited or changed.
 •In recent years many factories

Loose were established in the city,

especially plants engaged in the
manufacture of brass products.

Periodi •In recent years many factories,

especially plants engaged in the
manufacture of brass products,
c were established in the city.
 • Stop thinking
if you have
Loose nothing to
say.

Periodi • If you have

nothing to say,
c stop thinking.
 •It is of course impractical to

Loose
legislate for those who will
behave themselves while
completely ignoring those
who will not.

Periodi •To legislate for those who will

behave themselves while
completely ignoring those
c who will not is, of course,
impractical.