DEVELOPING

HEALTHY
RELATIONSHIPS
By: Sherrelle Thompson
Group Rules & Expectations
◦ Please turn all cell phones on silent or off.
◦ I-Crab: Confidentiality, Respect, Attentiveness, Be prepared, and Ouch!
◦ Ice Breaker: If you can live anywhere in the world where would you live?
◦ Activity: Boundaries/Crossing the line participants will be given the following prompt to share how they
would handle the situations.
1. Your partner uses your car/phone/property
2. Your partner calls you several time a day
◦ Psychoeducation: What is Abuse, Cycle of Abuse, Statistics on abuse in intimate partner relationships,
Healthy Boundaries, Healthy Relationships & Communication
What is Abuse
◦ Domestic abuse also known as intimate partner violence occurs in both teenage romantic relationships
and adult relationships. Domestic abuse does go beyond a romantic relationship and can affect familial
relationships and friendships as well. It can be physical violence, or subtle, such as controlling a partner
through emotional, financial, or other forms of manipulation.
◦ Common reactions include the following: depression, suicidal thoughts, resentment, anger, aggression,
fear of the abusive partner, and many other negative reactions.
◦ People stay in abusive relationships for various reasons to include financial, fear, the cultural stigma, and
thinking and feeling that they deserve the abuse inflicted on them.
Types of Abuse
◦ Physical Abuse: threats of violence or violence towards the other partner or person. There is usually hitting, punching, kicking, hair-pulling, or
other physical harm. Using objects or weapons to cause harm. Physical restraint. Preventing partner from eating or sleeping and threats of
repeating the physical harm.
◦ Emotional & Psychological Abuse: Insults, threats, isolation, extreme jealousy, and controlling behaviors. Name-calling, belittling,
humiliation, yelling and screaming. Controlling what partner does, what they wear, and where they go. Isolation from friends and family.
Threatening to commit suicide if partner leaves and other abuse methods.
◦ Sexual Abuse: Unwanted sexual contact, forcing pregnancy, or forcing partner to terminate pregnancy. Persistent unwanted comments about
partner’s body or sexuality. Unwanted kissing or touching. Threatening or coercing partner into unwanted sexual activity. Rape or attempted
rape. Preventing access to contraception, refusing to use it, or purposefully damaging it. Harming partner in order to force miscarriage.
Purposefully infecting someone with a sexually-transmitted infection
◦ Other types of Abuse: Digital, Financial, and Stalking.
◦ Digital Abuse: Constantly demanding to look through partner’s phone, monitoring their emails and texts, posting hurtful information or
pictures on social media, or sending threatening texts or emails.
◦ Financial Abuse: Using money to manipulate and control partner, not allowing them to work or go to school, not giving them money for
necessities, or stealing their money or possessions.
◦ Stalking: A pattern of following, monitoring, or harassing someone, causing them to fear for their safety.
Cycle of Abuse
Abuse Statistics in Intimate Partner Relationships
◦ 1.5 million high school girls and boys in the United States, admit to being intentionally hit or physically
harmed in the last year by someone they are romantically involved with.
◦ Teens who experience intimate partner abuse develop other issues such as: alcoholism, eating disorders,
promiscuity, thoughts of suicide, and violent behavior.
◦ 1 in 3 teenagers will be in an abusive or unhealthy relationship
◦ 33% of teenagers in the U.S. are victims to sexual, physical, verbal, or emotional dating abuse

◦ These are just a few of the statistics.

Healthy Boundaries
◦ Know your limits: before entering a situation know what is acceptable and unacceptable.
◦ Know your values: by knowing what your limits are, you will have developed what your values are
which is what is important to you.
◦ Listen to what you are feeling/emotions: if you notice that you feel uncomfortable or any other range of
emotions, try to understand what you are feeling instead of burying the feelings.
◦ Self-Respect: have self-respect by having strong boundaries that express what you will and will not do or
allow to be done to you.
◦ Self-Respect for others: make sure that you are not self-serving and are considering what the other person
is saying that they need or want, and then compromise.
◦ Be Assertive: say no when uncomfortable or not wanting to do something without being rude or
disrespectful.
Healthy Communication
◦ Assertive communication uses ”I statements” and active listening. Try to hear what the other person is
expressing instead of thinking about what you are going to say. Then in response be mindful of tone, and
communication style to make sure you are conveying what needs to be said.
◦ Do not use aggressive communication, where there is belittling, yelling, blaming, etc., during the
conversation.
◦ If the conversation can not be held without an argument taking place, then ask for some time so you can
plan what you are going to say and calm down prior to the discussion.
Healthy Relationships
◦ Use gentle start up by saving the discussion for a better time, warm body language and tone of voice, and
again using “I Statements”
◦ Take Responsibility: if there was something done wrong on your part, maybe an assumption. Own up to
it and apologize for your role.
◦ Share Fondness & Admiration: develop the healthy relationship by showing respect and appreciation for
each other.
◦ Use Self-Soothing: use self-soothing and calming techniques to calm down and stay present with your
partner or family member.