“CENTERING EXERCISE"

- Profound Statement

"The Unexamined Life is not worth living"

Socrates
STATISTICS ON WOMEN
 STATEMENT BY TIMES MAGAZINE

Women are now in control of $20 trillion in annual spending which

according to Time Magazine means .

" We are on the brink of a massive power shift ,a grinding of the gears of
history into a new condition in which women if they choose can seize the reins
of economic control"
Power Paradox ( Invisible Blocks)
SIKA’S JOURNEY

Self Disclosure
Professional Disclosure
 MY MEANING MAKING FRAME

 Shame – “A woman is seen and not heard” How

it showed up - Made me invisible

 Lack – “Money does not grow on trees”

How it showed up – Overly protective of my money

 Isolation – “Keep to yourself and don’t let people know your issues”
How it showed up - Did not network or socialise
 PATTERNS
(fears of women)

Think about the pattern that has been the biggest obstacle in the way of
your success, fulfillment and impact.
• Shame or Guilt
• Lack
• Isolation
ABRAHAM MASLOW’S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS
WHAT IS SELF ACTUALISATION
 CONT….

 A process of becoming a 'self ' that is holistic

 When my meaning making frames about myself, others and what is

possible enables me to begin to pursue a successful, impactful and
rewarding destiny pathway.
THE GLASS CEILING
 WHAT ARE YOUR INVISIBLE BLOCKS

• Shame or Guilt
• Lack
• Isolation
 SHAME

Shame - An underlying belief about self / others//life that limits your

power & potential as a creator.
 LACK

Lack - Being disconnected from a higher power and the support of a

loving universe that is organising around your success.
 ISOLATION

Isolation -The experience of being alone when it comes to manifesting

the deeper yearnings of your soul and igniting the possibilities of who
you serve in your clearest moments that you came here to be.
 WHAT IS INNER GLASS CEILING
(Old Assumptions)

Old assumptions:

 Who we are

 What others are

 What is possible
SHAME or GUILT

(Think about yours)

 HOW IT SHOWS UP IN YOUR LIFE

 Disconnected from your own feelings ,needs and/or desires

 Find yourself doing chronic selfless service

 Rarely create structures for the fulfilment of your needs

 Frequently disappear entirely in relationships with little or no

explanation
 EFFECTS ON OTHERS

 Others are completely unaware of your feelings, needs and desires.

 Others put attention on themselves too and get offended when you
suddenly decide to presence your needs and desires.

 Others become self absorbed and self centered in your presence

 Others are confused and / or hurt when you end the relationship without
explanation.
 BELIEFS ABOUT OTHERS

 You believe others don't care about you

 You believe others are selfish

 You believe others won't care if you disappear

 BELIEFS ABOUT LIFE

 You believe it is dangerous to be seen

 You believe the world do not want what you have to offer
 WAYS OF BEING THAT GENERATE EVIDENCE THAT
VALIDATES IDENTITY
 You ask for what you want in ways that are attacking, defensive, demanding
or disrespectful

 You disappear when you don't get your needs. (Rather than asking directly,
you hang in there and work it out)

 You redirect the conversation to keep the focus on others instead of yourself

 You engage in selfless service to the point of exhaustion rarely pursuing

your own needs and desires
 You wait passively for someone to discover you
(is that you?)
 LACK

(Think about yours)

 HOW IT SHOWS UP IN YOUR LIFE

 You take responsibility for other people's happiness, satisfaction and

fulfillment rarely your own

 You feel as though you never have enough money, love, time, resources etc

 You believe you exist to please others

 You frequently find yourself burdened by too many obligations pulling you
in all different directions
 EFFECT ON OTHERS

 Others feel no matter how much they do to show their love and support
it is never quite enough for you.

 Others become overly dependent on you

 Others learn to feel entitled to let you do more for less

 Others feel frustrated and irritated with you when you take on more
than you can realistically deliver and let them down
 BELIEFS ABOUT OTHERS

 You believe others don't value you

 You believe others expect more from you than they do from others

 You believe others expect more from you than you can realistically
handle
 BELIEF ABOUT LIFE

You believe there is never enough to go around

(Time, money, attention, resources)

 WAYS OF BEING THAT GENERATE EVIDENCE TO
VALIDATE IDENTITY

 You covertly say self depreciating or self diminishing comments

about yourself (esp. When others try to praise and acknowledge you)

 You over commit and take on more than you can.

 You do things from a sense of obligation not because they bring you
joy

 You set impossible standards for yourself and others.

 ISOLATION

(Think about yours)

 HOW IT SHOWS UP IN YOUR LIFE

 You experience a low grade chronic depression, deep sense of sadness

having given up hope of ever being deeply connected with others

 You feel chronically under supported

 You rarely feel like you are with other people

 You rarely ask for support or you ask in ways that alienate others
(demand, whine, complain or ask with no clarity on what you want)
 EFFECT ON OTHERS

 Others find you unapproachable

 Others have a difficult time finding ways to support you

 Others assume you do not need anything from them assuming that you
have it all together

 Others give up including you or they stop inviting you to events because
of the many times you are unavailable or fail to show up
 BELIEFS ABOUT OTHERS

 You believe other people don't give you what you need from them

 You believe “other people always leave”

 BELIEF ABOUT LIFE

You believe your life is sad and lonely

 WAYS OF BEING THAT GENERATE EVIDENCE TO
VALIDATE IDENTITY

 You avoid joining collective gathering or communities preferring to do it

alone ( i.e read self help books , engage in solitary spiritual practice , live by
yourself, work by yourself at home etc)

 You rarely participate in groups (prefer to lead the groups or stay on the
side line)

 You don't make request for support even when you desperately need it.

 You are overly loyal to people you have long overgrown because you fear
that letting go means you will forever be alone in life.
 BREAK THROUGH /
TRANSFORMATION ROADMAP

(Creating your new story)

 - Profound Statement

“All transformation is change but not all change is

transformation. Change focuses on the past
transformation creates the future”

Adapted by; Sika

PICTURE OF ROBERT DILTS ( 1990)
NEUROLOGICAL LEVELS
 THREE REQUIREMENTS FOR TRANSFORMATION

 Psychological shift

 Convictional shift

 Behavioral shift
 DEVELOP REQUISITE SKILLS AND CAPABILITIES

 Deep connection with self

 Transparent and authentic in sharing emotions and desires

 Let go of control and allow others to see the real you so they can support
and love you

 Be transparent, authentic and vulnerable

 CONT…

 Work through challenges in ways that foster intimacy, respect , healthy

evolution without severing the connection or staying emotionally stunted in
order to keep it.

 Recognize and name your own feelings , needs and desires.

 Create relations where the mutual needs of both parties (yours and others)
can be present and met.
 CREATE DEEPER TRUTH STATEMENTS

SHAME

 “The more I presence myself and desires , the more I empower

myself and others”

 “I came into this world to be seen. It is part of my destiny to be

visible and I now take my rightful place in the world by being willing
to presence myself fully”
LACK

 “I am deeply grateful for all that I have and profoundly appreciate all
that I am”

 “I care deeply about my own happiness and satisfaction and

priorities my own well being in life”
ISOLATION

 “I am deeply connected to myself , to others and to all of life”

 “I am open and available to connect deeply and authentically with

others”
 CONCLUSION

“If you don't address the wounds of your past

(and present) you continue to bleed”
Oprah

PowerPoint by Ebenezer Boakye-Manu