Chapter Five

The Fourth Step in Essay Writing

College Writing Skills with Readings, 9/e

John Langan

College Writing Skills with Readings, 9/e Foreign Language Teaching And Research Press.
 Chapter 5

Step 4 Revise and Edit Your Work

Strategies for revising sentences::
• Use parallelism.
• Use a consistent point of view.
• Use specific words.
• Use active verbs.
• Use concise words.
• Use varied sentences.

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College Writing Skills with Readings, 9/e Foreign Language Teaching And Research Press.
 Chapter 5

Use Parallelism
By balancing the items in a sentence,
you will make the sentence clearer
and easier to read.
Ex.: My job includes checking
inventory, initialing orders, and
to call the suppliers. calling
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 Chapter 5

Use a Consistent Point of View:

Verbs
Do not shift verb tenses
unnecessarily.
Ex.: Jean punched down the risen dough.
dumped
Then she dumps it onto the worktable.

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 Chapter 5

Use a Consistent Point of View:

Pronouns
Do not shift point of view
unnecessarily.
Ex.: One of the fringe benefits of
my job is that you I can use a
company credit card for gasoline.
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 Chapter 5

Use Specific Words

To be an effective writer, you
must use specific words
rather than general words.
General: The dog ran down the street.
Specific: The mangy stray loped down
Broadway, dodging cars and startled
pedestrians.
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College Writing Skills with Readings, 9/e Foreign Language Teaching And Research Press.
 Chapter 5

Specific Sentences
1: Use exact names.
names (Not “the boy,”
boy but “Vince.”)
Vince
2: Use lively verbs.
verbs (Not “ate,”
ate but “slurped.”)
slurped
3: Use descriptive words.
words (Not “the car,”
car but “the
rickety old Buick.”)
Buick
4: Use sense descriptions.
descriptions (“Vince slurped his
ice-cold chocolate milkshake while sitting on
the squeaking front seat of his rickety old
Buick.”)
Buick

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College Writing Skills with Readings, 9/e Foreign Language Teaching And Research Press.
 Chapter 5

Use Active Verbs

Prefer the active voice.

When the subject receives the action, the verb is in the

passive voice.
voice
The netbook was bought by Hakim.Hakim
When the subject of a sentence performs the action of
the verb, the verb is in the active voice.
Hakim bought the netbook.
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College Writing Skills with Readings, 9/e Foreign Language Teaching And Research Press.
 Chapter 5

Use Concise Words

Prefer concision.
Wordiness -- using more words than necessary -- is
often a sign of lazy or careless writing.
Too Wordy: In this paper, I am planning to
describe the hobby that I enjoy of
collecting old comic books.
Revision: I enjoy collecting old comic books.

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 Chapter 5

Vary Your Sentences

Effective writing is writing that is
varied and interesting.
interesting
Vary your sentences by:
1: Adding a second complete thought.
thought
2: Adding a dependent thought.
thought
3: Beginning with an opening word or phrase.
4: Placing adjectives or verbs in a series.
series
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College Writing Skills with Readings, 9/e Foreign Language Teaching And Research Press.
 Chapter 5

Adding a Second Complete Thought

Transform simple sentences (which

can be monotonous) --
Greg worked on the engine. The car still
wouldn’t start.
into compound sentences:
sentences
Greg worked on the engine, but the car
still wouldn’t start.

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College Writing Skills with Readings, 9/e Foreign Language Teaching And Research Press.
 Chapter 5

Adding a Dependent Thought

Transform simple sentences (which
can be monotonous) --
The library was very quiet. I
couldn’t concentrate.
into complex sentences:
sentences
Although the library was very quiet, I
couldn’t concentrate.
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College Writing Skills with Readings, 9/e Foreign Language Teaching And Research Press.
 Chapter 5

Beginning with an Opening Word or Phrase

...transforms simple sentences

(which can be monotonous) --
Paul was concerned about his
daughter’s fever. Paul called a doctor.
into varied sentences:
sentences
Concerned about his daughter’s fever,
Paul called a doctor.
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College Writing Skills with Readings, 9/e Foreign Language Teaching And Research Press.
 Chapter 5

Placing Adjectives or Verbs in a Series

...transforms simple sentences (which
can be monotonous) --
The truck bounced off a guardrail. It
sideswiped a tree. It plunged into the
ditch.
into varied sentences:
sentences
The truck bounced off a guardrail,
sideswiped a tree, and plunged into the
ditch. 5 - 14
College Writing Skills with Readings, 9/e Foreign Language Teaching And Research Press.
 Chapter 5

Editing Sentences

After revising, check for mistakes in

grammar,
grammar punctuation,
punctuation mechanics,
mechanics
usage,
usage and spelling.
spelling

Edit according to the conventions of

written English,
English aka sentence skills.
skills
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 Chapter 5

Proofreading

Check the edited draft of

your paper for typos and
other careless errors.
errors

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