“The More

Loving One”
by W. H. Auden

Daniya Aijaz (MS20215)

 CONTEXT
● The poem was published in 1957
● The major themes are “unrequited love” and
“indifference”
● In 1939, Auden moved from England to America
and after meeting the American poet Chester
Kallman, fell madly in love with him
● The two got into a relationship but broke up in
1941 as Kallman did not succumb to Auden’s
wish of marriage
● The poem is said to be directed at Kallman by
Auden
● However, the poem is universal
 STANZA 1
Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.
A PICTURE IS
WORTH A
THOUSAND
WORDS
● In the whole poem, an extended metaphor of stars has been used referring to the speaker’s
beloved
● As the speaker looks at his beloved, he knows that the beloved is highly indifferent towards
his feelings
● The conventional association of stars with all the positive emotions such as beauty, love,
hope, and God’s mercy has been rejected
● Stars are related with the beloved’s indifference
● The speaker projects himself as a realist as he does not go overboard in lamenting the
beloved’s indifference
● He believes that this indifference should be the least of the things that one needs to fear from
man
● Contextualizing the poem in the post-war times of violence, man can be equated with a beast
 STANZA 2
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
 A PICTURE IS
Being
WORTHloved Aby someone and not being able to return
their love or loving someone who does not
THOUSAND
reciprocate your feelings. What is better?
WORDS
● The stanza starts with a question, contemplating the reverse situation
● Answered in the next two lines
● If equal affection between the speaker and his beloved is not possible, he
prefers to be the more loving one
● Love, despite being unrequited has been taken as a bliss and not as a
curse
● The speaker considers being at the receiving end of love, more difficult
● Similar idea has been given by Auden in September 1, 1939

“Of each woman and each man

Craves what it cannot have,
Not universal love
But to be loved alone”
 Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.
● Theme of indifference
● The beloved does not care the least about the speaker’s feelings
● Since the two cannot be together, the speaker is considering moving on
● The speaker is trying his best to make himself believe that it is not going
to be much difficult to live without his beloved (theme of hope)
● He does not even miss the beloved much now
● The speaker appears to have finally made peace with his emotions
● Realism and hope are apparent
● Instead to mourning like typical lovers, the speaker is preparing himself
to live in the absence of the beloved
● He appears hopeful and does not feel like he will die without the beloved
● He will learn to live and appreciate life even in the absence of the
beloved
● The speaker is fully aware that his life will become “dark”
● Hopefully, time will heal his wounds or at least numb the pain
● Interestingly, the speaker does not say that his love will end with time
● Instead, he will learn to live with that love and without the beloved
Thank You!