IF I WAS DEAD

By Carol and Duffy

 STANZA - 1

If I was dead,
and my bones adrift
like dropped oars
in the deep, turning earth;

Throughout this piece, Duffy’s speaker makes a number of statements that begin with the
phrase, “If I was dead,” the first occurs as the poem’s opening line.

She continues after this line to describe the state of her body if she was dead, and her,
She brings attention to her bones, the parts of herself which are physically the strongest.
She weakens them and romanticizes them. If she was dead and her bones were let go into
the earth, they would float adrift like oars that were dropped from the side of a boat.
She has imagined herself buried and her bones drifting freely into the earth. They do not
stay contained to the place in which she would be buried. This statement is not finished
but continues into the second stanza without ending.
 STANZA -2

or drowned,
and my skull
a listening shell
on the dark ocean bed;

In stanza two she continues her statement, now adding, if she were to be
drowned. In this case, her skull is on the bottom of the ocean, acting as a
conch shell. She is imagining this different scenario of a death at sea,
where her skull has become part of the surroundings. Often it is said that
by listening to a conch shell one can hear the ocean. The reader can
wonder, what one hears from a conch when it is itself in the ocean. The
statement is still unfinished.
 STANZA -3

if I was dead,
and my heart
soft mulch
for a red, red rose;

Once more, she asks at the beginning of this third stanza, “if I

was dead.” In this instance, she sees another important part of
herself, her heart. The imagined source of love and emotion in
the body. She is again buried and her heart, as would the rest of
her, becomes part of the earth. It decays, and invigorates the
earth, allowing a rose to grow from it. Another
widely symbolic image of love.
 STANZA -4

or burned,
and my body
a fistful of grit, thrown
in the face of the wind;

As her long statement continues, she experiences another resolution to

her life in the fourth stanza. In this case, her body is cremated, it is
burned after death. After her death and cremation, the “grit” that she has
become is taken and “thrown / in the face of the wind.” She has been
buried with her bones drifting through the soil, drowned, with her skull a
“listening shell,” she has been cremated in a fire and then thrown into
the air. She is becoming in all these instances different parts of the earth.
 STANZA -5

if I was dead,
and my eyes,
blind at the roots of flowers,
wept into nothing,

This fifth stanza is the last time she begins with, “if I was dead.” In this
case, she returns to the element of earth. She is again buried and her
eyes, blind and unseeing, are at the “…roots of flowers.” She is nothing
but a memory, without impact or volition in the world.
 STANZA -6

I swear your love

would raise me
out of my grave,
in my flesh and blood,

It is at this point that the poem makes a turn and the reader begins to understand
where this long sentence has been heading. It is helpful before reading this
stanza to remember how much she has gone through, and say to oneself before
reading the next eight lines, “If I was dead.”
The speaker swears, if this was the case, “your love”
 STANZA -7

l ike
Lazarus;
hungry for this,
and this, and this,
your living kiss.

The poem concludes by referencing Lazarus, and her own returned human nature.
Lazarus of Bethany is the legendary man mentioned in the bible who Jesus raises from
the dead, four days after his death. She is drawing a comparison between her lover, and
the power of Jesus Christ. This is an impactful metaphor fitting for this piece.
She has returned from the dead and is once again experiencing all of the joys of
humanity. She is hungry for all manner of things, “for this, and this, and this.” These
undefined things for which she is desiring are unnamed, but because the poem
concludes with, “your living kiss,” one may infer from the repetition of “this” that each
is representing a kiss. Just as one might kiss the cheeks and lips of one’s lover, so
follows the pattern of the words at the ending of this piece, each a chaste brush of the
lips.
 BIBLIOGRAPHY

Baldwin, E., (2018, January 22). If I Was Dead by Carol Ann Duffy. Poem
Analysis. Retrieved from 
https://poemanalysis.com/carol-ann-duffy/if-i-was-dead/