The Four Basic Styles

of Communication/
Behavior
PASSIVE COMMUNICATION
• A style in which individuals have developed a pattern of
avoiding expressing their opinions or feelings, protecting their
rights, and identifying and meeting their needs.
• Avoiding interpersonal conflict
• Passive communication is usually born of low self-esteem.
• These individuals believe: “I’m not worth taking care of.”
IMPACT
• Failing to address the conflict
• often feel anxious because life seems out of their control
• often feel depressed because they feel stuck and hopeless
• often feel resentful (but are unaware of it) because their needs
are not being met
• often feel confused because they ignore their own feelings
• are unable to mature because real issues are never addressed
AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION
A style in which individuals express their feelings and opinions
and advocate for their needs in a way that violates the rights of
others. Thus, aggressive communicators are verbally and/or
physically abusive. Aggressive communication is born of low
self-esteem (often caused by past physical and/or emotional
abuse), unhealed emotional wounds, and feelings of
powerlessness.
IMPACT
• become alienated from others
• alienate others
• generate fear and hatred in others
• always blame others instead of owning their issues, and thus
are unable to mature
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE
COMMUNICATION
A style in which individuals appear passive on the surface but are
really acting out anger in a subtle, indirect, or behind-the-scenes
way. Prisoners of War (POWs) often act in passive-aggressive
ways to deal with an overwhelming lack of power. POWs may
try to secretly sabotage the prison, make fun of the enemy, or
quietly disrupt the system while smiling and appearing
cooperative.
IMPACT
• become alienated from those around them
• remain stuck in a position of powerlessness (like POWs)
• discharge resentment while real issues are never addressed so
they can't mature
ASSERTIVE
COMMUNICATION/BEHAVIOR
• A style in which individuals clearly state their opinions and
feelings, and firmly advocate for their rights and needs without
violating the rights of others. Assertive communication is born
of high self-esteem. These individuals value themselves, their
time, and their emotional, spiritual, and physical needs and are
strong advocates for themselves while being very respectful of
the rights of others.
• Being assertive is to attack the issues rather than people
• Its speaking up and voicing your opinions when you disagree
IMPACT
• feel connected to others
• feel in control of their lives
• are able to mature because they address issues and problems as
they arise
• create a respectful environment for others to grow and mature
by James Clawson
The Fogging Technique

•  Fogging technique is an approach often used in assertiveness

 skills that helps us to provide a calm response to someone who
is being aggressive towards us.
• When used correctly, the fogging technique aims to reduce
further confrontation by not feeding the aggression, but rather
quashing it. 
• Colleague: “You are over 15 minutes late for our meeting this
morning. Where have you been?” (delivered with aggression)
• You: “You’re right, I am 15 minutes later than planned and I
can see this is frustrating” (delivered calmly)
Broken Record Technique
• The Broken Record Technique is a form of assertive behavior.
• It is a verbal response that is firm and clear and conveys a
message that you mean what you say.
• It tends to work well in situations where people want to argue,
don’t want to listen, are non-compliant with treatment,
forgetful or disorganized.
• Your aim is to prevent further conflict, manage the message
more effectively or clarify information.
• You acknowledge what the other person is saying or doing and
then explain your expectations, using the same or similar
words with a polite but firm tone.
The Positive Enquiry Technique
• used for handling positive comments, praise and compliments
• Other person: “that was a great presentation, I really enjoyed
it”
• You: “thank you. I felt it went well too. What did you like
about it?”
The Negative Enquiry Technique
• used for handling negative comments, feedback or criticism
• Other person: “that presentation wasn’t what I thought it
would be, I really didn’t learn much from it”
• You: “I didn’t quite go as planned. What did you not like about
it?”
CONFLICT INFORMATION
GATHERING TECHNIQUES
• Active listening
• Reframing
• Questioning
• Brain storming
• Self-Disclosing
• Confronting