DEALING

WITH
DIFICULT
Cyril L. Raras
Difficult People
are…
Difficult People make
you feel…
 Training Objective:
How you can better cope, interact
with, deal with, and survive
Difficult People in your daily
encounters.
The Core Rules
The Core Rules
 Rule #1 in
Dealing with
DP
Don’t take DP personally.
DP are equal opportunity
annoyers.
 Rule #2 in
Dealing with
DP
Don’t try to change
DP; it usually won’t
work. You can only
change the way you
react to DP.
 Rule #3 in
Dealing with
DP
The system (not you)
needs to work at
removing difficult
people.
 Rule #4 in
Dealing with
DP
Don’t let difficult people suck
you in or change you.(Don’t
fight back, retaliate or try to
beat DP at their own game.
They’ve been practicing their
whole life; you’re a lowly
 Rule #5 in
Dealing with
DP
Don’t try to merely appease DP.
(DP will keep coming back for
more; change the way you react
to DP and your life will be
better)
 Rule #6 in
Dealing with
DP
Don’t try to merely appease DP.
(DP will keep coming back for
more; change the way you react
to DP and your life will be
better)
A Basic Set of Strategies for
Dealing with DP
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 Start out by examining yourself.
Explore what you are experiencing with
a trusted friend or colleague.
Approach the DP for a private
discussion using an “I” message.
It’s okay to confront the DP publicly.Be
direct but use the right tone.Listen for
interests not issues.
Deal with the issues and interests; not with
changing the person.
Competitive people: treat the situation as a
sport (“win-win”).
Avoiders and Compromisers: treat the
situation as an exercise in self-
improvement.
It’s ok to test!Learn from your experiences!
Dealing with Specific Types
of Difficult People
Mari
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dolor. Vivamus elementum
pulvinar tempus.
Tess
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consectetur adipiscing elit.
Sed non orci hendrerit augue
interdum lacinia at egestas
dolor. Vivamus elementum
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 “Accept what you can’t
change.”
“Try to understand these
fallible humans.”--Albert
Ellis
 “ As novices, we think we’re entirely
responsible for the way people treat us. I
have long since learned that we are only
responsible for the way we treat
people.”—Rose Lane“He who controls
others may be powerful, but he who has
mastered himself is mightier still.”—
Lao-tzu
“WHEN YOU GIVE JOY TO
OTHER PEOPLE, YOU GET
MORE JOY IN RETURN.
YOU SHOULD GIVE A
GOOD THOUGHT TO
HAPPINESS THAT YOU
CAN GIVE OUT.”
THANK
THANK YOU
YOU
SO
SO MUCH
MUCH
Cyril L. Raras