Part 5

MARRIAGE, AMERICAN STYLE

(By Ethel Tiersky & Martin Tiersky)

Name : Ika Erwita Zebua

NIM : 21218048
Class : B/3
Course : Cross Cultural Understanding
Lecturer : Adieli Laoli, S.Pd., M.Pd
1. Choosing a mate
 Although Americans try to be practical in most matters, when
they choose a spouse, the decision is usually based upon feelings
of love rather than practical considerations.
 In the United Stated, parents do not arrange marriages for their
children.
 Parents generally encourage their children to marry someone of
the same race and religion
 Marriages between people of different religious or racial
backgrounds are increasing
 Marriages between blacks and white are still rather rare,
involving less than 0,5 % of the nation's 55 million married
couples
2. Engagement and wedding customs

Today, Americans marry at an older age than did

young adults of the 1960s and 1970s
When a man and woman decide to marry and
announce their engagement to their friends and
relatives, it is traditional for the man to give his
fiancée a diamond engagement ring.
When the engagement period begins, the bride to be
and her future husband meet each other's relatives,
make arrangements for their wedding and
honeymoon, and plan their future together.
3&4
 Very few newlyweds choose to begin married life living
with either set of parents.
 Engagement and Wedding gifts help the bride and
groom to set up housekeeping.
 Most wedding customs observed the United States
today originated in other countries and past centuries
 Some relate to old superstitions about ways to bring
the bride and groom luck and many children
 Other customs are ancient symbols of the material
promises of lifelong devotion.
 5
o The traditional American bride wears a long white gown and
a veil. (In ancient times, the veil was supposed to protect the
bride from evil spirits and to symbolize her innocence).
o Traditional Brides also obey the well-known verse and wear
"something old something new, something borrowed, and
something, and something blue"
o The groom usually wears a tuxedo
o According to custom, the groom should not see the bride's
wedding gown before the wedding
o on their wedding day, the bride and groom do not see each
other until they meet during the ceremony
6,7&8
 The American wedding is often an expensive affair (average cost $ 10,000).
 The day's festivities begin with the marriage ceremony, which may be held
in a church, synagogue, home, or hotel
 The bride walks down the aisle with her father, who leads her to the altar
and "give her way" to the groom.
 The double ring ceremony is quite common today, with bride and groom
placing identical rings on each other's fingers
 Toward the end of the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom promise to
love each other "until death do us part“.
 Often, after a church wedding, guests throw rice, rose petals, or confetti at
the newlyweds as they leave the church. Sometimes, the couple's car is
decorated with tin cans, paper streamers, or old shoes, along with a "Just
Married" sign
9,10,11,12,13
 After the ceremony, there is a party at which guests enjoy dinner and
dancing
 Just before the bride leaves the wedding party, she throws her bouquet
of flowers to the group of single women at the wedding
 After the wedding, the Newlyweds take a vacation called a honeymoon.
 Though it is common to get married with a large group of relatives and
friends present, it is by no means essential.
 Some couples elope to get married without fanfare or to escape parental
disapproval. People marrying for the second time often do so in quiet
way, without a large party.
 Finally, following one last wedding tradition, when the bride and groom
first enter their new home as husband and wife, the husband carries his
wife across the threshold
THE COMPTEMPORARY AMERICAN LANGUAGE
(14,15,16,17)
On her wedding day, the radiant American bride is the star of the show
Many older couples still have traditional marriages with the man as the breadwinner (money
earner) and the woman as the homemaker
But most young women today are not content to be full time homemakers, identified only as
"Joe's wife" and later, as "Lisa's mother". The women's Liberation Movement, which swept
the country in the 1960s, has changed attitudes and behaviour forever.
In the contemporary American marriage the husband and wife share both financial and
domestic responsibilities
In most households, both husband and wife are happy with this arrangement because it
provides a more varied life for both parents and also a higher standard of living for the family.
problems can develop in the two-income family, if husband expects his working wife to be the
kind pf homemaker that his mother was, or if the working wife expects her husband to help
her with household chores and he is unwilling to do this, the two-income home can become a
battleground.
The contemporary American marriage is also characterized by a relationship of equality and a
sharing of the decision making
DIVORCE AND ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLES
(18,19,20)

Yet, about one out of four American marriages ends in divorce

The U.S.A. has one of the highest divorce rates in the world. perhaps
even the highest
Americans expect a great deal from marriage. They seek physical,
emotional, and intellectual compatibility. They want to be deeply
loved and understood.
They prefer no marriage at all to a marriage without love and
understanding.
With no fault divorce laws in many states, it is easier than ever to
get a divorce Some American women.
Americans have little reason to continue an unhappy marriage.
Which marriages are most likely to end in divorce?
 
21,22,23

When a couple gets divorced, the court may require the man to pay his
former wife a monthly sum of money called alimony.
If the woman is working and earns a good salary, she may receive no
alimony at all
If a divorcing couple has children, the court must determine which parent
the children will live with and who will provide for their support.
The high risk of divorce does not seem to make Americans afraid to try
marriage - again and again.
In fact, remarriage and creation of new families is so common in the United
States that one American joke tells of a wife calling to her husband, "quick
John! Come here and help me! Your children and my children are beating
up our children".
24,25

Despite the dominance of the married lifestyle,

the number of people choosing alternative
lifestyles is increasing, and their behaviour is
increasingly accepted by the general
population.
Another alternative to the traditional marriage
is the homosexual relationship
 HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Maintaining a good marriage has always been work as well

as fun, so it's no wonder that Americans celebrate the
completion of each successful year
But certain landmark anniversaries - especially the 25th and
the 50th - are commonly celebrated with big parties.
Reaching this moment is a goal of most young couples when
they walk down the aisle as bride and groom.
 
Thank you