Writing Effectively

Lesson 5
 Creating Unity in Academic Writing

Achieving coherence
“A piece of writing is coherent when it elicits the response: ‘I
follow you. I see what you mean.’ It is incoherent when it elicits
the response: ‘I see what you're saying here, but what has it got to
do with the topic at hand or with what you just told me above?’ ”

- Johns, A.M
What is coherence?
Coherence in a piece of writing means
that the reader can easily understand
it. Coherence is about making
everything flow smoothly. The reader
can see that everything is logically
arranged and connected, and
relevance to the central focus of the
essay is maintained throughout.
Two key aspects of coherence
Cohesion: This relates to the linking of ideas within a
sentence, the linking of sentences (the ties between
sentences) within a paragraph and the linking between
paragraphs. 

Unity: This relates to the question of relevance and

maintaining the central focus of a single paragraph and
throughout the essay. A paragraph has unity when the
support sentences contribute to a greater understanding of
the point made at the beginning of the paragraph.
How can you achieve coherence in your writing?

Even if English is not your first language, you can achieve coherence in
your writing by using some cohesive devices.  Cohesive devices are the
“glue” that holds a piece of writing together. They carry meaning within
a sentence and from a previous sentence into the next. They allow the
reader to follow from one part of the text to another, and to understand
the logical relationships between sentences and paragraphs.
We will examine four cohesive devices: (Note: the symbols in brackets
will be used in examples and practice activities.)
Pronouns (P)
Repetition (with exact word or parallel term/synonym) (R)
Transitions (T)
Parallelism (PllM): the use of similar grammatical forms and sentence
structures
Pronouns (details in another
document )
Repetition
Repetition in a piece of writing does not always
demonstrate cohesion.  Study these sentences:
Unnecessary repetition or limited vocabulary
range:
The purpose of the simulation exercise is
to simulate the racing performance of a racing car
as it will perform in an actual race.
Improved sentence:
The purpose of the simulation exercise is to recreate
the performance of a car in an actual race. 
When a pronoun is used, sometimes what the pronoun refers to (ie, the
referent) is not always clear. Clarity is achieved by repeating a key noun
or synonym. Repetition is a cohesive device used deliberately to improve
coherence in a text.
In the following text, decide if the referent for the pronoun it is clear.
Otherwise, replace it with the key noun English where clarity is needed.

English has almost become an international language. Except for

Chinese, more people speak---------   than any other language. Spanish
is the official language of more countries in the world, but more
countries have----------   as their official or unofficial second language.
More than 70% of the world's mail is written
in------------  . ---------------   is the primary language on the Internet.
(p.23).

Text source: Oshima, A. and Hogue. A. (2006). Writing academic

English (4th ed.). NY: Pearson Education
 Transitions
Transitions are like traffic signals. They
guide the reader from one idea to the
next. They signal a range of
relationships between sentences, such
as comparison, contrast, example and
result.
Which of the three alternatives should follow the transition or logical organiser in capital letters
to complete the second sentence?

1. In 2006, there was a proposal to build a stadium near the Auckland waterfront. IN FACT,...
the government did not give its full support.
this proposal was turned down because there was simply insufficient land.
detailed plans had been drawn up to ascertain the site's viability.

2. The plans were submitted to the Auckland City Council for consideration in February 2006.
HOWEVER,...
the plans were all well-received.
several local bodies also submitted plans.
none of the plans met all the requirements.

3. The main objection to the stadium proposal was the destruction of the waterfront views. IN
ADDITION,...
the estimated costs of building the stadium were deemed reasonable.
it would have been the best location for the rugby world cup.
it would adversely affect the busy shipping sector there.
4. The recreational needs of the waterfront residents were not
ignored. ON THE CONTRARY,...
they were not consulted about the project.
letters were sent out well in advance to ascertain their views.
they would also lose their privacy.

5. In the end, the final total costs were too high.

CONSEQUENTLY...
the waterfront stadium proposal went into the second phase.
the waterfront stadium proposal was rejected in favour of an
Eden Park upgrade.
the waterfront stadium proposal was a serious consideration.
Parallelism
Sometimes known as parallel
structures or balanced constructions,
parallelism is the use of similar
grammatical forms or sentence
structures when listing or when
comparing two or more items.
When used correctly, parallelism can
improve the clarity of your writing.
Study these examples of faulty parallelism
(marked with an asterisk *) and their
corrections(in bold):
Faulty:  The elderly residents enjoy many
recreational activities: swimming, *read
and *to garden.
Parallel: The elderly residents enjoy many
recreational activities: swimming, reading,
and gardening.
 
Faulty:    The academic conversation group consists of
students from China, Japan, Korea and *some Germans.
Parallel:  The academic conversation group consists of
students from China, Japan, Korea, and Germany.
 
Faulty:    This paper discusses the main features of the
AST system, the functionalities, and *the system also
has a number of limitations.
Parallel:  This paper discusses the main features of the
AST system, the functionalities, and limitations
Correct the faulty parallel constructions (bold) in the following
sentences. 
 
1.   The researcher wanted to find out where the new
immigrants came from and to talk about their future plans.
2.  The earthquake victims were both concerned about water
contamination and the slow response from the government
also made them angry.
3.  An ideal environment for studying includes good lighting, a
spacious room, and the furniture must be comfortable.
4.  Computers have changed the way people live, for their work,
and how they use their leisure time.
5. Houses play an important role not only to provide a place to
live, but also for giving a sense of security.
Suggested answers:
1   The researcher wanted to find out where the new
immigrants came from and what their future plans were.

2.  The earthquake victims were both concerned about water

contamination and angry at the the slow response from the
government.
3.  An ideal environment for studying includes good lighting, a
spacious room, and comfortable furniture.
4.  Computers have changed the way people live, work, and use
their leisure time.
5. Houses play an important role not only to provide a place to
live, but also to give a sense of security.