Personal TOPIC 2

Relationship
 Think of a person whom you find
attractive. Fill-out the worksheet in “I
AM ATTRACTED TO…” with their
names and a brief description of why
you find him/her attractive

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 Let us look at the
development of love.
What exactly does it
mean to be in a loving
relationship? What are
the stages that occur in
Love Relationships every individual in
entering into one?
THEIR CHARACTERISTICS & HOW
THEY DEVELOP

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Love Relationship
Loving relationship
• Is intimacy, passion and commitment between two people. This definition is
based on the triangular theory of love of an American Psychologist, Robert
Sternberg

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The Triangle
When it comes to explaining concepts, we love to use shapes. Be it graphs or pyramids;
they help explain complex ideas to the public in an easy-to-read and attention catchy
graph.
The three points of the triangle are components of love. At the top, there is intimacy. At the
bottom left, there is passion. At the bottom right, there is commitment. Let's unpack these
three points first before we explain more about the theory.

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INTIMACY REFERS TO FEELINGS OF
CLOSENESS, CONNECTEDNESS, AND
Intimacy
BONDEDNESS IN LOVING RELATIONSHIPS. 
IT THUS INCLUDES WITHIN ITS PURVIEW
THOSE FEELINGS THAT GIVE RISE,
ESSENTIALLY, TO THE EXPERIENCE OF
WARMTH IN A LOVING RELATIONSHIP. 

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   PASSION REFERS TO THE DRIVES THAT
LEAD TO ROMANCE, PHYSICAL
Passion
ATTRACTION, SEXUAL CONSUMMATION,
AND RELATED PHENOMENA IN LOVING
RELATIONSHIPS.  THE PASSION
COMPONENT INCLUDES WITHIN ITS
PURVIEW THOSE SOURCES OF
MOTIVATIONAL AND OTHER FORMS OF
AROUSAL THAT LEAD TO THE EXPERIENCE
OF PASSION IN A LOVING RELATIONSHIP. 

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DECISION/COMMITMENT REFERS, IN THE
SHORT-TERM, TO THE DECISION THAT ONE
LOVES A CERTAIN OTHER, AND IN THE LONG-
Commitment
TERM, TO ONE'S COMMITMENT TO MAINTAIN
THAT LOVE.  THESE TWO ASPECTS OF THE
DECISION/COMMITMENT COMPONENT DO NOT
NECESSARILY GO TOGETHER, IN THAT ONE CAN
DECIDE TO LOVE SOMEONE WITHOUT BEING
COMMITTED TO THE LOVE IN THE LONG-TERM,
OR ONE CAN BE COMMITTED TO A RELATIONSHIP
WITHOUT ACKNOWLEDGING THAT ONE LOVES
THE OTHER PERSON IN THE RELATIONSHIP. 
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Intimacy And Friendship
Being intimate with someone means there is a feeling of closeness to them. It doesn't
necessarily have to involve love. You can be intimate with your friends and family.
However, if you want to be in love with someone, you need to have a strong connection
with them and intimacy.
If a relationship has intimacy, it's more than likely just a friendship. However, many loves
start as a friendship, so often, the triangle will build itself from the top-up.

Passion And Infatuation

When you're in love with someone, there is a fire burning in you or a swarm of strong
emotions. This is your passion, and you need it to be in love with someone. With passion,
you can't stop thinking about the person, and every time you're with them, you have
unexplainable feelings.
Alone, passion is just infatuation. You have feelings for someone, but you never act upon
them. Because of this, your infatuation tends to be short-lived.

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Commitment And Empty Love
Commitment is when you deliberately stay together with someone and make conscious
plans for the future. Alone, your relationship is an empty love, where your relationship
lacks a connection and a passion. Now, why would you be committed to someone if you
didn't love them?
Usually, empty love results from a long marriage, where the two of you did have intimacy
and passion at one point, but that is gone. However, the two of you are still together, be it
for financial reasons or the kids. Arranged marriages can end up being empty love as well.

Nonlove
This is when your relationship has none of the points. It can come in the form of an
acquaintance or coworker you talk to but don't have any real connection with them.

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Passion + Intimacy= Romantic Love
This makes up the left side of the triangle, and it's how many relationships begin. Two
people meet, have a connection, then realize they have feelings for one another. This
turns into a romance. The romance tends to be fiery, but because it's new, it lacks
commitment. The two of you are probably not making life plans just yet, and commitment
either comes later, or the romance ends before it can happen.

Intimacy+Commitment= Companionate
When there is no passion, but the two of you have a connection and a commitment to stay
together, this is companionate. A companionate can describe many relationships. It can
describe an old marriage where the fire is gone, but the couple still loves each other and
want to live together. It can describe families or close friendships where the two of you are
roommates. This makes up the right side of the triangle.

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Passion+Commitment=Fatuous Love
This makes up the bottom side of the triangle, and it's an interesting one. This is when two
people have strong feelings for each other and want commitment, but they lack that
intimate connection that keeps the marriage going strong. This can come in the form of a
shotgun or rushed marriage. Because of the lack of intimacy, this marriage usually falls
apart and crashes down into an explosion.
Intimacy+Passion+Commitment=Consummate Love
When all sides combine and form a triangle, this is consummate love. A relationship that
has a strong, intimate connection, fiery emotions from both parties, and a commitment to
make it work are said to be the best form of love possible.
A marriage with all three traits will still have an amazing sex life far into the marriage, will
be able to resolve conflict more easily, will plan everything together, and the intimate
connection will still be strong.
With that said, Sternberg believes that this form of love is hard to maintain. You can
achieve this form of love early on, but keeping it that way is difficult. He believes that
good couples need to have good communication with each other still and have a passion
for making things work.
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 When a relationship or love
interest is new, it is so easy for
you to fall into the trap – that
what you are feeling is unique
Developing and special, that somehow,
Overtime your love is special. However,
to better understand how love
develops, let us strip away the
illusion that, indeed, your love
is special

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Stage 1 : Attraction
It is a positive response to a person beyond friendship

• The first step in this stage is physical attraction. It happens when your
body reacts to another person. Your heart rate increases, your temperature
rises, your palm gets sweaty, there is butterfly in your stomach, your
throat tightens and so on and so forth. Physical attraction represents the
first contact.

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Stage 2 : Romance
It is an act of trying to influence or gain the favor of another by
lavishing attention or gift upon them

There are two types of romance

• Selfish Romance occurs when you do romantic acts solely for the
purpose of gaining something for your self
• Selfless Romance occurs when you do romantics acts for the enjoyment
and pleasure through his/her happiness

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Stage 3 : Passion
It is the desire for another person, which has grown to an intensity
that cannot be ignored.

This is often the point where an emotional relationship turns into a physical
relationship. The passion stage is very important. It is a plateau.

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Stage 4: Intimacy
It is a close association with another person of the deepest nature.

• During this stage you share thoughts, your feelings, your dreams.
• Intimacy is a never-ending developing process. If you cannot establish
intimacy with your partner, your relationship may work for a while, but is
unlikely to endure throughout the years.

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Stage 5: Commitment
It is a pledge to remain true throughout good and bad times.
Commitment is easy when times are good but can be extremely
difficult when times are bad

• The attraction stage has led to mutual interdependence and attachment to

one another. This attachment is then maintained and increased over time.
• Love has passion and intimacy, and without these, you just have a good
friendship

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Colors of Love
SUBTITLE
 Primary
Love styles
• Beginning with the three primary love styles – most basic one is EROS.
This type of love is based on physical attraction which is described to
be erotic and passionate.
• This love at first sight kind of love, the head-over heels puppy love of the
most on-screen films.

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 Primary
Love styles
• Second primary love style is LUDOS, which means sport in Latin. This
love style views a relationship as a game to be won. People who have
many romantic partners for short spans of time are experiencing ludos.

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 Primary
Love styles
• The third of the primary love styles is STORGE. Which means
friendship in Greek. This love style is based on shared interests. It is
affectionate which grows slowly over an extended period of time.
• Though storge love is not as passionate as EROS love, relationships with
this love style is more likely to last longer since they rely more on
intimacy and trust rather than pleasure or chemistry

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 Secondary
Love styles
• First secondary love style is a mixture of EROS + LUDOS known as
MANIA, this love style is obsessive love wherein individuals in a
relationship experience a typical roller coaster ride. Driven by passion
and is often branded by jealousy or possessiveness, mania has a lot of
extreme highs and lows.

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 Secondary
Love styles
• The next secondary love style is a mixture of LUDOS+ STORGE known
as PRAGMA, this love style is a practical love. Individuals are
weighing the advantages and disadvantages before entering a
relationship.
In selection process they typically look at persons education, level,
income, religious belief, and social status.

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 Secondary
Love styles
• Last is a selfless love from a mixture of EROS+ STORGE known as
AGAPE, This love style is a reflection of unconditional, enduring,
and devoted love. It is both intimate and passionate and relies on
patience, kindness, and devotion.
• Individuals in this love style are very much willing to sacrifice for their
partner.

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• Physical touch is one of the five languages of love. Maintaining
the spark is necessary to keep a lasting relationship – whether
through verbal or non-verbal communication. In this generation,
most of us have been witness to all kinds of affectionate lovers
engaging in public displays of affection (PDA)

• There is undeniably a time and place where couples should

engage in this kind of unrestrained behavior. Many couples
need to be mindful that PDA is not an acceptable form of
showing affection in different cultures and countries

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SOCIAL RELATIONSHIP

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