LIFE-SPAN DEVELOPMENT 18e

John W. Santrock

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 Chapter 14

Socioemotional
Development in Early
Adulthood

© 2021 McGraw Hill. All rights reserved. Authorized only for instructor use in the classroom. No reproduction or further distribution permitted without the prior written consent of McGraw Hill.
 Chapter Outline
• Stability and Change from
Childhood to Adulthood.
• Attraction, Love, and Close
Relationships.
• Adult Lifestyles.

• Marriage and the Family.

• Gender and Communication

Styles, Relationships, and
Classification.

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 Stability and Change from Childhood to
Adulthood: Topics

Temperament. Attachment.

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 Temperament 1

Recall that temperament is an individual’s behavioral

style and characteristic emotional responses.

In young adulthood, most individuals show fewer

emotional mood swings, become more responsible,
and engage in less risk-taking behavior.

Some dimensions of childhood temperament appear

to be linked with adult personality.
• Children with an easy versus difficult temperament are more
likely to be well adjusted as young adults.
• Inhibition is linked to less assertiveness and social support, while
disinhibition predicts self-efficacy.
• The ability to control emotions is linked with resilience.
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 Attachment 1
Consistently positive caregiving over a number of years is
likely an important factor in connecting early attachment with
functioning later in development.
Romantic partners fulfill some of
the same needs for adults as
parents do for their children.
• Adults may count on romantic
partners to be a secure base to
which they can return and
obtain comfort and security.

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 Attachment 2

Secure attachment style: adults who have positive views of

relationships, find it easy to get close to others, and are not overly
concerned or stressed out about their romantic relationships.

Avoidant attachment style: adults who are hesitant about getting

involved in romantic relationships and once in a relationship tend
to distance themselves from their partner.

Anxious attachment style: adults who demand closeness, are

less trusting, and are more emotional, jealous, and possessive.

The majority of adults describe themselves as securely attached

and prefer having a securely attached partner.

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 Attraction, Love, and Close
Relationships: Topics
• Attraction.
• Falling out of love.
• The faces of love.

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 Attraction 1

First impressions can be accurate and can have lasting

effects; but in come cases they are misleading.
• Individuals who encountered others with attractive faces
were more likely to overestimate their intelligence.

Familiarity and similarity:

People seek others who have similar attitudes, values,

and lifestyles.
• One explanation is consensual validation: our own attitudes and
behavior are supported and validated when someone else’s attitudes
and behavior are similar to ours.

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 Attraction 2

Recently, attraction has not only taken place in

person but also over the Internet.
• Some critics argue they lose the interpersonal connection.
• Others emphasize the benefit to shy or anxious individuals.

Physical attractiveness:

Standards of what is attractive change over time and across

cultures.

Matching hypothesis: although we prefer a more attractive

person in the abstract, in the real world we end up choosing
someone who is close to our own level of attractiveness.

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 The Faces of Love 1

Intimacy:
Self-disclosure and the sharing of private thoughts are
hallmarks of intimacy.
According to Erikson, in early adulthood individuals enter the
sixth developmental stage, intimacy versus isolation.
• Intimacy is finding oneself while losing oneself in another
person.
• Failure to achieve intimacy results in social isolation.
Research reveals that identity development in adolescence is
a precursor to intimacy in emerging adulthood.

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 The Faces of Love 2

Friendship:
• Increasingly researchers are
finding friendship plays an
important role in development
throughout the life span.
• Men and women have a best
friend of the same sex.
• Adulthood brings
opportunities for new
friendships as individuals
move to new locations and
start new jobs.
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 The Faces of Love 3

Romantic love:

Some friendships evolve into romantic love—also called passionate

love, or eros, with very strong components of sexuality and infatuation.
• Characterized by a complex intermingling of emotions: passion, fear, anger,
sexual desire, joy, and jealousy.

Affectionate love:

Love is more than just passion.

Affectionate love, or companionate love, occurs when someone

desires to have the other person near and has a deep, caring affection
for the other person.
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 The Faces of Love 4

Consummate love:

Robert J. Sternberg proposed a triarchic theory of

love, with three main dimensions: passion, intimacy,
and commitment.

For Sternberg, consummate love involves all three

dimensions and is the fullest form of love.
• When there is only passion, it is merely infatuation.
• When there is intimacy and commitment but no passion, it is
affectionate love.
• If there is passion and commitment but no intimacy, it is fatuous
love.

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 The Faces of Love 5

FIGURE 2: STERNBERG’S TRIANGLE OF LOVE

Sternberg identified three dimensions of love: passion, intimacy, and commitment. Various combinations
of these dimensions result in infatuation, affectionate love, fatuous love, and consummate love.
Access the text alternative to slide image
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 The Faces of Love 6

Cross-cultural variations in romantic relationships:

In China and Korea, intimacy is more diffused, with more

emphasis on connections outside of romantic relationships.

Japan’s marriage rate is dropping.

In France and Brazil you will find the most passionate, most
romantic interest.
• France has the most extramarital affairs.

In Qatar, casual dating is forbidden, and public displays of

affection can be punished with incarceration.

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 The Faces of Love 7

Relationship education for adolescents and emerging

adults:
Traditionally, such programs have focused on helping
committed adult couples strengthen their relationships.
Recently, programs have been developed for adolescents
and emerging adults.
Relationship education consists of interventions to provide
individuals and couples with information and skills that
produce positive romantic relationships and marriages.
• Skills include interpersonal communication, problem-
solving and conflict strategies, and self-regulation.

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 Falling Out of Love

The collapse of a close relationship can feel

tragic; but sometimes our happiness and
personal development benefit.

This is especially true if:

• You are obsessed with a person who repeatedly betrays
your trust.
• You are involved with someone who is draining you
emotionally or financially—or both.
• You are desperately in love with someone who does not
return your feelings.

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 Adult Lifestyles: Topics
• Single adults.
• Cohabiting adults.
• Married adults.
• Divorced adults.
• Remarried adults.
• Gay and lesbian adults.

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 Single Adults 1

Stereotypes associated with being single range from the

“swinging single” to the “desperately lonely, suicidal” single.
• Most are somewhere between these extremes.

Advantages of being single:

• Time to make decisions about one’s own life course.
• Time to develop personal resources.
• Freedom to make autonomous decisions and pursue one’s
own schedule and interests.
• Opportunities to explore new places and try out new
things.
• Privacy.
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 Single Adults 2

Men have become more interested in love, marriage, and

children than men in earlier generations.

Women desire more independence, personal space, and

time on their own and with friends.

U.S. singles report an interest in fast sex and slow love:

One-night stands, sex before a first date, and friends-with-

benefits relationships.

Taking far longer to commit to love and marriage—though

they still express a strong interest in finding romantic love.

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 Cohabiting Adults
Cohabitation refers to living together in a sexual relationship
without being married.
Some couples view cohabitation not as a precursor to
marriage but as an ongoing lifestyle.
• Spend time together, share expenses, and evaluate
compatibility.
Couples who cohabit do face certain
problems.
• Disapproval of family.
• Limited legal rights.
• Potential impacts on later marriage.

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 Married Adults 1

The changing norm of male-female equality in marriage

and increasingly high expectations has produced
relationships that are more fragile and intense than in
earlier generations.
Some characteristics of marital partners predict whether a
marriage will last longer:
• Education: both women and men with a bachelor’s
degree are more likely to delay marriage but also more
likely to get married and stay married for more than 20
years.
• Ethnicity: Asian American women are the most likely to
be in a first marriage that lasted at least 20 years.
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 Married Adults 2

Marital trends:
• Marriage rates in the United States have declined—although the
U.S. remains a marrying society.
• The age at which individuals get married is going up in the
United States and many other countries around the world.
• Emerging and young adults continue to view marriage as a very
important life pursuit—more important than parenting, careers,
or leisure activities.
• Individuals’ top reason for getting married is love.
• Marriages in adolescence are more likely to end in divorce.
• The average duration of marriage in the U.S. is currently just
over nine years.

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 Married Adults 3

FIGURE 4: PERCENTAGE OF MARRIED PERSONS AGE 18 AND

OLDER WITH “VERY HAPPY” MARRIAGES
Access the text alternative to slide image
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 Married Adults 4

Cross-cultural comparisons:
• Aspects of marriage vary across cultures.
• Domesticity is valued in some cultures but not others.
• Religion plays an important role in many cultures.

Premarital education:
• Focuses on relationship advice.
• Can occur in a group setting.
• Ranges from several hours to 20 hours (median 8 hours).
• Lowers risk of subsequent marital distress and divorce.
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 Married Adults 5

Trend
Individualism and
Commitment Ambivalence
Meaning of and Attitudes
about Marriage
Premarital Relationship
History and Experiences
Proposal
Premarital education needs to guide couples in
transitioning from “me” to “we” and developing a strong
commitment to their marriage.
Premarital education should help individuals clarify for
themselves and with their partner the meaning of
marriage and their attitudes about it.
Premarital education needs to focus on the complexities
and challenges of marriage that many couples will
experience as a result of considerable premarital
experience, cohabitation, and premarital childbearing.

Effects of Media Premarital education should help couples explore

the effects of media use on marital attitudes and
behavior.

TABLE 5: TRENDS AND PROPOSALS FOR IMPROVING

PREMARITAL EDUCATION IN THE NEXT GENERATIONS
Source: After Clyde, Hawkins, & Willoughby (2020)

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 Married Adults 6

The benefits of a good marriage:

• Happily married people live longer, healthier lives and feel
less physical and emotional stress.
• The experience of divorce or separation confers risk for
poor health outcomes, including a 23% higher mortality
rate.

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 Divorced Adults 1

In the United States, nearly

half of first marriages will
break up within 20 years.

Some groups have a higher

incidence of divorce:
• Youthful marriage.
• Low educational level.
• Low income.
• Not having a religious affiliation.
• Having parents who are divorced.
• Having a baby before marriage.
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 Divorced Adults 2

• Alcoholism.
The following
characteristics of • Psychological problems.
one partner also • Domestic violence.
increase the • Infidelity.
likelihood of
divorce:
• Inadequate division of
household labor.

If divorce is going to occur, it is most likely to happen between the

fifth and tenth years of marriage.

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 Divorced Adults 3

FIGURE 6: THE DIVORCE RATE IN RELATION TO NUMBER OF

YEARS MARRIED
Shown here is the percentage of divorces as a function of how long couples have been married. Notice
that most divorces occur in the early years of marriage, peaking in the fifth to tenth years of marriage.

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 Divorced Adults 4

Divorced adults have higher rates of:

• Depression and anxiety.

• Physical illnesses.
• Suicide.
• Motor vehicle accidents.
• Alcoholism.
• Mortality.

Although divorce has more a negative economic impact

on women, women show better rates of adjustment and
are more likely to perceive divorce as a “second chance.”

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 Remarried Adults
The remarriage rate in the United States has declined in
recent decades.

Men are more likely to remarry.

Remarriage occurs sooner for the partners who initiated the

divorce.

Remarried adults often find it difficult to stay remarried.

• The divorce rate of remarriages continues to increase.
• Many remarry not for love but for financial reasons, for help in raising
children, and to reduce loneliness.
• They may carry with them negative patterns from an earlier marriage;
and they face more stress in rearing children.
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 Marriage and the Family: Topics
• Making marriage work.
• Becoming a parent.
• Dealing with divorce.

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 Making Marriage Work 1

Gottman’s seven practices of a working

marriage:
• Establish love maps.
• Nurture fondness and admiration.
• Turn toward each other instead of away.
• Let your partner influence you.
• Solve solvable conflicts.
• Overcome gridlock.
• Create shared meaning.

Such factors as forgiveness and commitment are important.

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 Making Marriage Work 2

• Have realistic expectations.

• Develop new positive
relationships within the family.
• Counter set relationship
For remarried patterns or “ghosts”—certain
couples, strategies interaction patterns from a
include the previous relationship that can
continue to haunt the individual.
following:

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 Becoming a Parent 1

These are myths about parenting:

• The birth of a child will save a failing
marriage.
• As a possession or extension of the
parent, the child will think, feel, and
behave as the parent did in his or her
childhood.
• Having a child gives the parents a
“second chance” at achievement.
• Parenting is instinctual and requires no
There is little in thetraining.
way of formal education for this task, but
there are parent educators who can help.

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 Becoming a Parent 2

Trends in childbearing:
• The average age of first-time mothers in the United
States is about 27 years old.
• Those with a master’s degree or higher first become
mothers at an older age (30) than those with a high
school diploma (24).

U.S. women overall are having fewer children:

• By giving birth to fewer children and reducing the demands
of child care, women free a significant portion of their life
spans for other endeavors.
• Men are apt to invest a greater amount of time in fathering.
• Parental care is often supplemented by institutional care.

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 Dealing with Divorce

E. Mavis Hetherington found six common pathways men

and women took after divorce:
• The enhancers: more often female; “grew more
competent, well-adjusted, and self-fulfilled” following
divorce.
• The good-enoughs: the largest group; some strengths,
some weaknesses.
• The seekers: motivated to find new mates as soon as
possible.
• The libertines: more casual sex, but often grew
disillusioned and wanted a stable relationship.
• The competent loners: successful and active, with little
interest in sharing their lives.
• The defeated.
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 Gender and Communication Styles,
Relationships, and Classification: Topics
• Gender and communication styles.
• Gender and relationships.
• Gender classification.

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 Gender and Communication Styles
Rapport talk: the language of conversation.
• A way of establishing connections and negotiating
relationships.
• Women prefer rapport talk.
Report talk: a talk style designed to give
information.
• This category of communication includes
public speaking.
• Men prefer report talk.

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 Gender and Relationships 1

Women’s development:

Women place a high value on relationships and focus on nurturing

connections.

Often, they try to interact with others in ways that will foster the
other person’s development.
• Harriet Learner stresses the importance of the separate “I-ness”
of both persons in a relationship.

Gender experts note that women are more relationship-

oriented than men are, and many suggest this should be
valued more highly in our culture than it currently is.

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 Gender and Relationships 2

Men’s development:

Men can experience • Health.

considerable role • Male-female relationships.
strain in the areas
of: • Male-male relationships.

Ron Levant recommends every man should become more

“emotionally intelligent” by:
• Reexamining his beliefs about manhood.
• Separating out the valuable aspects of the male role.
• Getting rid of those parts that are destructive.

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 Gender and Relationships 3

Gender’s role in
friendships:

Women tend to have closer, more supportive

friendships.

Men tend to have more competitive friendships.

Cross-gender friendships can present both

opportunities and problems.
• Learning about common feelings and interests and shared
characteristics about each other and each other’s genders.
• Different expectations and unclear sexual boundaries.
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 Gender Classification
Masculinity, femininity, and androgyny:

In recent decades masculinity and femininity have been seen less

as a continuum where more of one means less of another.

Individuals can have both masculine and feminine traits.

Androgyny: the presence of positive masculine and feminine
characteristics present in the same person.

Transgender:
Transgender individuals adopt a gender identity that differs from
the one assigned to them at birth.
• Can be straight, gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
• Some elect to proceed with gender reassignment.
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