Narrative Writing

Creating Tension
 Learning Objective
• To understand how writers create tension.

Success Criteria
• To identify ways in which a text creates tension.

• To write a P.E.E. paragraph on one of these techniques.

 Tense
The word tense has two meanings:

1.The time in which an event takes place – past, present or future.

2.The sensation of feeling tense, which is related to tension.

•Correct use of tense is one of the most important elements of a story.

•Incorrect use of tense, or switching between the two, is one of the most common errors made
by students when writing stories.

•Most stories are set in the past tense. However, there is nothing wrong with writing your story
in the present tense. It can make a ghost story or thriller very immediate, exciting and real.

•The rules are simple… If you start in the present tense, stay in the present tense. If you start in
the past, stay in the past.
 Tense
Copy out the following extract, correcting any bits which you feel are in the wrong tense.

‘Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they are perfectly
normal, thank you very much. They are the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything
strange or mysterious, because they just don’t hold with
such nonsense.’

Extension

‘Mr Dursley is the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. He is a big, beefy
man with hardly any neck, although he does have a very large moustache.’
 Tense - Answers
‘Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly
normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in
anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with
such nonsense.’

Extension

‘Mr Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. He was a big,
beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large moustache.’
 What Is Tension?
What is the meaning of the word tension?

1.The state of being stretched tight.

2.Mental or emotional strain.

•A good story will create tension for the reader to keep them interested and keep the story
exciting.

•What might a writer do with their words and sentences to make the reader
feel tense?
 Extract
Read the following passage and underline any parts that you feel are increasing tension for the
reader.

Can you explain what they are?

The old, black key felt colder than any of the others. She pushed it into the keyhole. It
turned smoothly, with a satisfying clink. Coraline stopped and listened. She knew she was
doing something wrong, and she was trying to listen for her mother coming back, but she
heard nothing. Then Coraline put her hand on the doorknob and turned it; and, finally, she
opened the door.

It opened onto a dark hallway. The bricks had gone, as if they’d never been there. There
was a cold, musty smell coming through the open doorway: it smelled like something very
old and very slow.
 Questions
Now answer the following questions about the text.

‘The old, black key felt colder than any of the others.’

1. What technique is this line using to alert the reader to possible danger?

‘Coraline stopped and listened. She knew she was doing something wrong, and she was trying
to listen for her mother coming back, but she heard nothing.’

2. There are various techniques being used here. How and why does this passage create
tension?
 Questions
‘Then Coraline put her hand on the doorknob and turned it; and, finally, she
opened the door.’

3. Why do you think the writer ends the paragraph here?

‘There was a cold, musty smell coming through the open doorway: it smelled like something
very old and very slow.’

4. How would you describe the technique being used here?

 P.E.E
Introducing the technique, providing a short quotation and explaining its effect is called a
P.E.E. paragraph.

There follows some possible answers to the questions, laid out as P.E.E. paragraphs.

P.E.E. stands for Point, Evidence and Explanation.

They are not the only possible answers and yours may be better and more interesting.

P.E.E
 Possible Answers
‘The old, black key felt colder than any of the others.’

1. What technique is this line using to alert the reader to possible danger?

The writer uses a range of adjectives to make the key seem mysterious: old, black and the
comparative adjective colder in the adjectival phrase ‘colder than any of the others.’

This makes the key seem particularly mysterious and makes the reader wonder what kind of
door a key like that would open and where it would take Coraline.
 Possible Answers
‘Coraline stopped and listened. She knew she was doing something wrong, and she was trying
to listen for her mother coming back, but she heard nothing.’

2. There are various techniques being used here. How and why does this passage create
tension?

The writer uses a short sentence, ‘Coraline stopped and listened,’ to describe Coraline’s
actions. The reader is now waiting to see what will happen next.

The next sentence is a longer, compound sentence outlining her thoughts. The fact ‘She knew
she was doing something wrong’ makes the reader nervous. While the reader is worried that
her mother may return at any moment, they may be even more nervous that she will not!’

Notice how these answers introduce a quotation, embed it in the sentence and then explain its
effect. This is an effective way to write about a text.
 Possible Answers
‘Then Coraline put her hand on the doorknob and turned it; and, finally, she
opened the door.’

3. Why do you think the writer ends the paragraph here?

The writer ends the paragraph with ‘and, finally, she opened the door.’ This means the reader
has to read on to find out what is behind the door, therefore increasing the tension.
 Possible Answers
‘There was a cold, musty smell coming through the open doorway: it smelled like something
very old and very slow.’

4. How would you describe the technique being used here?

This passage uses the sense of smell to make the scene vivid and scary. The writer then uses an
unusual technique: ‘it smelled like something very old and very slow.’ It would be very
difficult for the smell of something to be ‘very old and very slow.’ This puts a creepy picture in
our mind of what it might be and increases tension for the reader.
Writing Your Own P.E.E. Paragraphs
Choose one example from the text and write your own P.E.E. paragraph, in
your own words.
 Extension Task
Using the techniques you’ve discovered, complete one of the following tasks:

1.You are at home in bed. You hear a scratching sound on your window. It becomes more
persistent and you realise that whatever the thing is, it is trying to get in. Write the scene,
building the tension before the creature finally breaks in.

2.You and a friend have decided to explore a derelict house. It’s winter and so although it is
only 4.30pm, it is dark. You go through the house and as you are climbing the stairs, you look
round and your friend is gone. Write the scene, saying what happens before and after this
event.

3.You are visiting your great aunt and, bored with the conversation downstairs, you decide to
go up to the attic as you used to do when you were little. You find lots of interesting objects
and eventually stumble upon an odd little map which you decide to follow. Write the scene
before and after finding the map.

Remember to use the techniques you’ve learned to build tension in your writing.
 Plenary
So, what techniques have we discovered for creating tension that we could use in our own
stories?

• Putting a character that you care about into a scary situation

• Using a range of adjectives to describe things and feelings

• Appealing to the readers’ senses

• Repetition of words and sentence structures

• Short sentences

• Single sentence paragraphs