Let’s Get Started on

Communication
Communication is like:

• With one hand, one can slap;

• But with two, You clap!

• It requires two sides (Persons, Parties,

Organizations) to contribute for
Communication to be effective.
 Let’s set the Expectations here;
• We will deal with English Language , as a tool for
communication.
• Grammar will be discussed, but not taught,
• Value of BODY LANGUAGE will be recognized &
valued,
• What will be discussed is;
• How to LISTEN effectively
• The tools to learn that
• How to become an excellent
• COMMUNICATOR,
• How to listen, understand and then respond; not
react!
Advantages of a Good Communicator
• Will increase likability,
• Will be able to form excellent
relationships
• Will be a good team member
• Will make others understand
• Will try and understand others too!
• Will be less stressed
• Can become a leader
• Can handle conflicts
Communication is tough! Why???
• FEAR
• Of not being able to speak well!
• Unique
• everyone is different!
• Filters
• while communicating
• Perception
• How we look at…
• Ego
• Superior or Inferior status
• No Empathy
The Interpersonal Gap Model*

Pass through A’s Pass through

filters and are observable filters and are
transformed actions transformed
Into… Into…

A’s private
intentions B’s private
interpretati
ons
What are YOUR filters?

Work Education Religion

Background

Gender Values
Income

Age Birth Order

Family Marital
Background Status
Ethnicity
Organizational
Family Norms
Physical Role
Abilities

7
Some Examples……………..
• If the superior says “Task
completed but you could have
done better!” It means…….
• If someone says, “I am fine with
whatever decision you take?”
actually means that he/she
………….
• An O.K. actually means --- Yes or
No or Alright or I Understand or
fine or I heard or can be anything
else too!
 Filters:
• One filter that one must avoid is
“Generalization”.

• Another filter to avoid is to pre-judge a

person, maybe by his looks!

• Never Judge a Book by it’s Cover!

• If filters are managed well, our

communication will be very good.
 Fears that impair Communication

Language Fear
Voice Fear
Personality Fear
Stage Fear
Audience Fear
All this leading to
Fear of Failure &
A Complex
 COMMUNICATION HAS
…. TWO “ LANGUAGES”
• The ‘ HEARD” • The “ SEEN”

Blah

Blah
THIS
PICTURE
SPEAKS
ONE
THOUSAND
WORDS!
The Relative Merit……………………..
• THE
• “SEEN”
• COMMUNICATION
• HAS
• GREATER IMPACT
• THAN THE
• “SPOKEN”

• THIS WE CALL THE “ BODY

LANGUAGE’
WHAT IS “BODY LANGUAGE”?
• FACIAL EXPRESSION
• EYE CONTACT
• POSTURES
• GESTURES
•&
• LOOK WHAT YOU ‘MEAN’ ,
• ALSO
• ‘MEAN ‘ WHAT YOU LOOK !
 Why Body Language?
• 55% of interpersonal communication
Body language
Spoken Communication comes from facial expressions and
other body language.

Tone of Voice • 38% comes from vocal quality or tone

of voice.

Content-actual • 7% comes from the content, the

voice actual meaning of the words.

www.campus2career.co.in
Ego related issues! Superior Ego!
• A Superior’s Communication:
• Will be in a Commanding Voice
and tone
• Will refuse to listen
• Will push his agenda
• Will make the other person
bend to his command

• Maybe just like a Parent does!

 Superior Ego! Listener??
• Will try and murmur, grumble and
Speak in a low voice
• Will try and resist following the
commands
• Hates being ordered around
• Maybe just like a child, whom a
parent is talking to.
• Here, the Parent may have his say,
but the child is not happy!
Ego related issues! Inferior Ego!
• An Inferior’s Communication:
• Will be in a pleading, low voice
• Will insist by citing emotional threats
• Will not take a No
• Will refuse to reason
• Will try and bargain

• Maybe like a child, which wants a new toy

or another chocolate
 Inferior Ego! Listener???
• Will counter with reason
• Refusal to listen to reason; will make him
angry
• Hates being emotionally blackmailed
• May settle for a bargain
• Maybe just like a parent, listening to a
child.
• Here, the Child may get his way, but the
parent is not too happy!
 Ego Related Issues – Mature Ego
• Mature Person’s Communication:
• Will be in a Calm tone and Cool voice
• Will justify his opinions with reasons
• Will give a chance for listener to speak
• Will try and understand what listener is
saying
• Is not emotionally charged
• Maybe just like an Adult colleague talking
to another Colleague.
Mature Ego! Listener???
• Will really Listen, try and understand the
speaker
• Will also speak in a calm tone and a cool voice
• Will feel free to tell his view or ask questions
• More like a discussion, less like an argument
• Maybe just like a friend, listening to another
friend.
• Here, most times, both will be comfortable
with decision made!
An Example:
• Person A wants 3 days leave:

• If he is having Superior Ego (Parent), then;

• If he is having Inferior Ego (Child), then;

• If he is having Mature Ego (Adult), then;

Which Ego state, you are in?
• We have all the 3 Ego states within us
• Like for example; An elder sister can take a Superior ego state
whilst interacting with a younger sibling.
• The same Girl may take an inferior state, when interacting with her
teachers.
• The same person can be in Mature state, while advising a friend
• As most of us are adults – it is always better to interact in a Mature
ego state.
• Because; it creates an “Win-win” for both persons involved.
PAC or Transactional Analysis
• PARENT, ADULT and CHILD are the 3 ego states in Transactional
Analysis.

• In a transaction, if both the parties are happy; it’s the best one.
• Similarly in Communication; Adult-Adult Transaction is the best.
• START in any ego state; END in ADULT Ego state
• Recommendation:
• Try and stick to Adult ego state – as much as possible..
Perception
People perceive the same thing differently due to
differences in:
attitude,
culture,
beliefs,
background and
profession etc.
Perception-An Example!
 C = f(S+E+E)
……Yet another equation ?
•S
• SENSITIVITY is like being ‘pro active’, anticipate the
transaction before it happens.
• “Satyam Bruya, Priyam Bruya; Na Bruya, Satyam Apriyam”
•E
• Is EMPATHY, while listening ‘understand’ the person before
trying to understand what the person is saying.
•E
• Is EMOTION. Cultivate the need to realize in what state of
emotion he/she is , before judging what is being said
COMMUNICATION IS A POWEFUL TOOL,

YOU MUST WEILD IT, NOT THE REVERSE,

P+A+C
AN EQUATION FOR RELATIONSHIP
ADD an ‘ S’ IT IMPROVES. ADD TWO “E”s IT SUSTAINS!
ARE WE LOOKING AT” S+P+A+C+E/E” ?
To communicate effectively
• Listen actively

• Efficiently question

• Build rapport

• Empathize

• Stick to an Adult Ego state.

 THANK YOU FOR
YOUR PATIENCE AND
CO-OPERATION.