CHAPTER 4

g emen t
ctMan a
Co nf l i
pe r sonal
Inter

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 TOPICS

 Define Interpersonal Conflict

 A game theory (Prisoner’s dilemma)
 Managing Interpersonal Conflict

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 INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT

Interpersonal conflict occurs when a person or

group of people frustrates or interferes with another
person's efforts at achieving a goal. It can be
between co-workers, team members or roommates.

An interpersonal conflict is a disagreement in

some manner which can be emotional, physical,
personal, or professional between two or more
people.

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PRISONER’S
DILEMMA

Prisoner’s dilemma (in game theory) means a situation in which two players
each have two options whose outcome depends crucially on the
simultaneous choice made by the other,
often formulated in terms of two prisoners separately deciding whether to
confess or not confess to a crime.

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EXAMPLE OF PRISONER'S DILEMMA

1 2

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 MANAGING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT

Managing conflicts focuses on maintaining

conflict at the right level to help the
department, work unit or organization reach
its goals.

It neither means complete elimination of

conflict nor does it refer only to conflict
reduction.

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THE THOMAS CONFLICT RESOLUTION APPROACH

It identifies five resolution styles along

two dimensions for resolving conflicts.
The Two dimensions are –

i)Assertiveness:
- Individual seeks to satisfy own concerns
ii) Cooperativeness:
- Individual seeks to satisfy other’s
concerns

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 THE THOMAS CONFLICT RESOLUTION APPROACH
Concern for self

Concern for others

THE THOMAS CONFLICT RESOLUTION APPROACH

1. Avoiding:
 It is unassertive and uncooperative.

 This is when you simply avoid the issue. You aren’t

helping the other party reach their goals, and you aren’t
assertively pursuing your own.
 Proverb “Leave well enough alone.”

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THE THOMAS CONFLICT RESOLUTION APPROACH

2. Accommodation
 It is unassertive and cooperative—the opposite of competing.
 This is when you cooperate to a high degree, and it may be at your
own expense, and actually work against your own goals, objectives,
and desired outcomes.
 Proverb “Kill your enemies with kindness.”

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THE THOMAS CONFLICT RESOLUTION APPROACH

3. Compromise
 It is intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness
 This is the “lose-lose” scenario where neither party really
achieves what they want. This requires a moderate level of
assertiveness and cooperation.
 Proverb “Split the difference.”

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THE THOMAS CONFLICT RESOLUTION APPROACH

4. Competition
 It is assertive and uncooperative, a power-oriented mode.

 This is the “win-lose” approach. You act in a very assertive

way to achieve your goals, without seeking to cooperate with
the other party, and it may be at the expense of the other party.
 Proverb “Might makes right.”

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THE THOMAS CONFLICT RESOLUTION APPROACH

5. Collaboration
 It is both assertive and cooperative.

 This is where you partner or pair up with the other party

to achieve both of your goals. This is how you break free
of the “win-lose” paradigm and seek the “win-win.”
 Proverb “Two heads are better than one.”

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Types of Interpersonal Conflict
Pseudo conflicts and Real Arguments
Conflict happens when two people want different things
and can neither come to an agreement nor get what they
want without the other person. For example, if you want
to go out for Japanese food while your friend wants to go
out for Italian food, you can't both get what you want
and still go out to dinner together
Policy Conflicts
Policy conflicts are disagreements about how to deal
with a situation that affects both parties. For instance,
you may have strong feelings about the best way to get a
project completed at work, while your coworker may
feel just as strongly that it should be handled another
way. Or you may want to set aside a certain amount of
your household income for savings, but your partner
wants to spend a little more on entertainment.
Value Conflicts
No two people have the exact same set of personal values.
According to the Conflict Research Consortium at the
University of Colorado, it can be easy to assume the other
person is just being stubborn or wrongheaded about a
situation, when the real explanation is that you have a
difference of underlying values. For example, you may believe
saving money and planning for the future is an important
value, while your partner believes it is more important to
enjoy your life in the present.
Ego Conflicts
In an ego conflict, losing the argument would
damage the person's sense of self-esteem. For
instance, if you want to go out to a different movie
than your friend, this would ordinarily be an easy
issue to resolve. However, if you feel like your
friend always gets to pick the movie you see
together, you might feel that giving in would make
you the less powerful partner in the relationship.
CAUSES OF INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT
 Organizational Structure
 Limited Resources

 Task Interdependence

 Incompatible Goals

 Personality Differences

 Communication Problems

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 CONSEQUENCES OF
INTERPERSONAL
CONFLICT

Lose-lose

Consequences of
Interpersonal Lose-win
Win-win
Conflict

Win-lose
•Win-win: Both parties are satisfied. That
management has given benefits to both of
the conflicting parties. For example: in
case of promotion there was only one post
but both candidates were qualified.
•Lose-lose: Neither party is
satisfied. If management takes
decision not gives consider any
candidate for promotion until
another new is advertized. In this
case none of the candidates may
be happy with management’s
decision though it may be for a
short time.
Win-lose: One party is
satisfied (in the short term), the
other is not. However, over long
term, it often evolves into a lose-
lose situation. For example, you
force your daughter to come home
early because you don’t like her
friends.
•Lose-win: One party is satisfied
with the solution but another party
is not happy. If we cite same
example from the first instance, it
can be said that one candidate has
been promoted but other part’s case
has not been considered.
 SOURCES OF INTERPERSONAL
CONFLICT

i. Personality
ii. Bases of Power
iii. Organizational Climate
  DO’S AND DON’T DO’S
FOR
MANAGING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT

1. Do’s
 Do try to be assertive (but not aggressive). Fight fair,
being fair both to yourself and other person.
 Do make conflict a collaborative effort because it is a joint
problem.
 Do make sure to keep focus on the issue and not on who is
right.
 CONTD…

2. Don’t Do’s
 Don’t escalate into a power conflict or an impasse.
 Don’t do “gunny sacking” i.e. mix in other issues.

 Don’t use “crazy making” or “silencers” yourself and

stop such use by other person.
2. BENEFITS OF INTERPERSONAL CONFLICTS:

1. Opens our eyes to new ideas. 

2. Opportunity to verbalize needs.
3. Teaches flexibility.
4. Teaches us to listen.
5. Teaches us patterns of behavior.
6. Leads to solutions.
7. Practice communication skills.
8. Allows us to differentiate ourselves.
STEPS FOR MANAGING DIFFICULT
EMPLOYEES
There are nine things that excellent managers do when confronted with a difficult employee –
things that keep them from getting sucked into an endless vortex of ineffectiveness and
frustration:

 Listen. Often, when an employee is difficult we stop paying attention to what’s

actually going on. We just turn our attention to other things. But the best managers
get very attentive when someone’s not doing well. They know their best shot at
improving the situation knowing the tough employee’s point of view. In some cases,
simply listening can save the day. You may hear about a real problem that’s not the
employee’s fault that you can solve; the tough employee may start acting very
differently once he or she feels heard.

 Give clear, behavioral feedback. Most managers will spend months, even years,
complaining about poor employees and not ever giving them actual feedback
about what they need to be doing differently. But great managers learn to do to
it reasonably well, and then they do it.
 STEPS FOR MANAGING DIFFICULT
EMPLOYEES

 Document. Whenever you’re having significant problems with an employee, WRITE

DOWN THE KEY POINTS. Good managers know that documentation isn’t negative –
it’s prudent. Remember, if you're able to solve the problem, you can just breathe a
sigh of relief and put your documentation in the back of the drawer.

 Be consistent. If you say you’re not OK with a behavior, don’t sometimes be OK

with it. Employees look to see what you do more than what you say. If, for
instance, you tell employees that it’s critical they submit a certain report by a
certain time, and then you’re sometimes upset and sometimes not upset when
they don't do it…the less-good employees generally won’t do it. Pick your shots
- only set standards you’re actually willing to hold to – and then hold to them.
STEPS FOR MANAGING DIFFICULT
EMPLOYEES

 Set consequences if things don’t change. If things still aren’t improving at this
point, good managers get specific. They say some version of, “I still believe you
can turn this around. Here’s what turning it around would look like. If I don’t see
that behavior by x date, here’s what will happen” (e.g., “you’ll be let go,” or “ you’ll
be put on warning,” or “you won’t be eligible for a promotion” – some substantive
negative consequence.).

 Work through the company’s processes. Good managers hold out hope for
improvement until the point when they actually decide to let the person go. If
you’re at this point in your efforts to address the situation, you ought to be
having very clear conversations with HR so that you know exactly what you need
to do to clear the path to termination, if that turns out to be necessary.
STEPS FOR MANAGING DIFFICULT
EMPLOYEES

 Don’t poison the well. All too often, poor managers substitute bad-mouthing the
problem employee. No matter how difficult an employee may be, good managers
don’t trash- talk to other employees. It creates an environment of distrust and
back-stabbing, it pollutes others’ perception of the person, and it makes you look
weak and unprofessional. Just don’t do it.

 Manage your self-talk. Throughout this process, make sure your self-talk is
neither unhelpfully positive nor unhelpfully negative. Thinking to yourself, “This
guy’s an idiot and will never change,” isn’t useful, nor is thinking, “Everything will
turn out fine, he’s great, there’s no problem.” Good managers take a fair witness
stance, making sure that what they say to themselves about the situation is as
accurate as possible.
STEPS FOR MANAGING DIFFICULT
EMPLOYEES
 Be courageous. Firing someone is the hardest thing a manager has to do. If it gets
to that point, do it right. Don’t make excuses, don’t put it off, don’t make someone
else do it. The best managers do the tough things perfectly.

If you learn to use these ‘good manager’ approaches when you have a difficult
employee, then no matter how things turn out, you’ll end up knowing that you’ve
done your best in a tough situation. And that may be the best stress reducer of all.
Thanks
to
All

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