Power is a Choice

Self-Regulation Yields Authentic Power

What does
this look like
in schools?
Our Purpose
We are learning to
Recognize the effect a person's
brain state (internal) has on their
actions and reactions (external) to
others.

So that we can
Use the awareness of our own state
to diffuse situations, respond
calmly, model emotional regulation
Our Guiding Principles 

•Adults first

•Model what you expect

•My state dictates your

state

•Behavior is communication
 Self Regulation
The control of one’s behavior
through self-monitoring, self-
evaluation, and self-
reinforcement.
American Psychological Association
Self-regulation is essential
for social, emotional,
academic, and life
success.
5
5 Steps to Self-Regulation

1 2 3 4 5
Becoming Breathing Naming Choosing Solving the
and noticing the calm problem
aware sensations emotion
Survival State
Looks Like: screaming, fighting,
hiding, surrendering, and
physical reactions

Message: 

Am I safe?

7
Emotional State
Looks Like:  back talk, sass,
yelling, and verbal reactions

Message: 

Things Aren’t Going My Way.

I am connected?

8
Emotions are
Complicated
What is the
difference?
Executive State
Looks Like: 
collaboration, apologizing,
assertive

Message: 

What can I learn?

12
Restorative Conversations are for Everyone
 I noticed when I walked into the
room, you told me about the student’s
Affective behavioral issues in front of the class.

Statement I feel concerned because I value

Example: professionalism and dignity.

Teacher Would you consider stepping outside

to tell me these details next time?
 I noticed you throwing your bookbag down
the hall after Mrs. Peterson told you to get a
pass from your last class.

Affective Are you feeling overwhelmed?

Statement
Example: Do you need space, support, or a solution?
Student
Would you consider speaking with me &
Mrs. Peterson to find a solution to your
tardies?
 THE SCENARIO
Students were assigned their daily
What state is each
bell ringer. Mr. Hayes told Aiden to
stop talking and to get started on person in?
his work.  What might be their
Aiden shouted, "I'm not the only unmet need(s)?
one talking!"  Who holds the power?
Mr. Hayes said, "You're the only one
I hear." 
How would you
address the situation?
Aiden said, "Well you need to get
your ears checked because you
can't hear."
Power Struggles Take
Energy
• Defending our authority
• Bringing up history
• Giving ultimatums
• Pushing Buttons
Characteristics of Power

Coercive Power Authentic Power

Judging Problem-solving
Forcing Giving Choices
Manipulating Teaching Responsibility
Intimidating Guiding
 Authentic Power Means

1 2 3 4
Keeping Using reflective Creating a Getting curious
responses brief listening protocol for about your
“I am hearing you conflict resolution students &
feel …” school-wide teachers
9th-grade art class. Emily
was sent to the office last
week for throwing pencils
in class.

3rd-grade lunch.
JaQuaviyon has a history
of aggressive behaviors
with 2 other students in
the class.
 How to Redirect
Problem Behaviors
QTIP