Social Skills & Asset

Building for Kids

 Overview
O Perceptions
O Personal capabilities & strengths
O Mindset- fixed vs. growth
O Positive identity
O Skills
O Interpersonal
O Survival
O Conflict resolution
O Relaxation
 Perception vs. Skills
O Personal perceptions- are conclusions we
reach about ourselves and our lives as a result
of our experiences.

O Skills- are the capacity we develop and or

learn to do as a result of practice &
experience.
 Perception of Personal
Capabilities (Glenn/Nelsen)
O Feeling capable- my life has meaning and
purpose
O Cross age tutoring, cooking, input in family
meetings, special jobs at school
O Quickly celebrate movements in the right
direction and you will get more results
O Point out what we admire in our children and
others (helps sharpen
self-evaluation skills).
 Perception of Personal
Strengths (Gardner)
O Every child has a gifts/talents (some hidden).
O Howard Gardner’s Multiple Intelligences

All children are gifted...

 Perception: Fixed vs.
Growth Mindset (Dweck)
O Children need to believe they have influence over
their lives.
O “Growth mindset” is the belief that our most basic
abilities, intelligence and talents can be developed
through dedication and hard work.
O This view helps to create more of a resiliency to
new or challenging tasks. Children with this type
of mindset are more likely to take on challenges
and to stretch their abilities.
 Perception:
Positive Identity
(Search Institute’s 40 Developmental Assets)

O Personal power- the child can make choices

and influence things that happen in their life
O Self-esteem- likes self, sense of being valued
by others
O Sense of purpose- anticipates new
opportunities, experiences and milestones
O Positive view of future- finds world interesting
& feels he/she has a positive place in it.
 Building Empathy
O Openness to understand another person’s point
of view.
O Careful listening leads to understanding
O Understanding leads to empathy
O Empathy is the experience of understanding
another person's condition from their
perspective. You place yourself in their shoes
and feel what they are feeling.
Empathy
 Table Talk
O As adults, is it easier to empathize with
someone when something good happens in
their life or something bad?
O How do we help our children empathize with
or be happy for someone else when their
natural instinct is to feel jealous or
competitive?
 Development of Strong
Intrapersonal Skills
O Self assessment
O Self control
O Self Discipline
 Self Assessment
O Acknowledge own feelings
O Understand feelings are legitimate
O Use “I statements”
 Self Control
O The ability to select from among a number of
possible behaviors an appropriate response to
a feeling
O A recognition that feelings do not cause
actions, our mind choses how to respond to
feelings (I feel, I do, I experience)
 Anger Management
O Anger is not inherently good or bad. It is what
people do with it that matters.
O Anger triggers & physical reaction
O Anger elevator, time outs, self-talk, not blaming
others, problem solving
 Self Discipline
O Set aside a behavior that brings immediate
gratification to achieve a goal
O Decision-making & responsible behavior
O Demonstrate emotions in an acceptable way
O Self discipline can only be taught by parents who
don’t pamper children.
 Table Talk
O Is your child able to recognize and express
his/her feelings?
O Any strategies that you have used to help with
self control and self discipline.
 Survival Skills
O Basic social Skills
O Acknowledge another person
O Listen/respond
O Introduce self
O Classroom/Behavioral Skills
O Comply with directions
O Attention to task
O Seek assistance
O Accept and learn from consequences
Skill Deficit or Performance Deficit?

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Types of Social Skills Deficiencies ^
O Skill deficit: Student cannot identify correct response
for a social situation; actions are not in the student's
behavior repertoire.
O Performance deficit: Correct social response can be
identified by the student when questioned, but is
displayed only during the role play situations.
O How do we respond to each?
O Skill deficits usually respond to direct instruction.
O Performance deficits usually require a guarantee that
the new behavior will capture at least the same amount
of benefits as the current behavioral response (&
practice, practice, practice to make it default choice).

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 How do we teach social skills?

O Modeling
O Direct instruction
O Behavioral rehearsal
O Social stories on power point
O Video taping (with prompting)
 Interpersonal Skills
O Empathy/Tolerance/Compassion
O Sharing
O Join an Activity/Initiate play
O Begin a Conversation
O Give/Accept Compliments
Conflict Resolution Skills
O Dealing with being left out
O Negative peer pressure
O Losing/failing
O Making mistakes
 Relaxation & Managing
Children’s Anxiety
O Breathing
O Visualizations
O Progressive muscle relaxation
O Affirmations
 References
O Raising Self Reliant Children in a Self-
Indulgent World (Glenn/Nelsen)
O Mindset (Dweck)
O Multiple Intelligences (Gardner)