INTRODUCING

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What is self-control?
• A governance or prudent control of one’s desires, cravings,
impulses, emotions, and passions.
• Saying no when we should say no.

• It is moderation in legitimate desires and activities, and absolute

restraint in areas that are clearly harmful/considered bad.
• The ability to choose what is right/good over what is pleasurable
or comfortable for us.

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Biblical self-control
• As opposed to ordinary self-control where one relies on one’s own strength
or willpower to master their desires, Biblical self-control is control of
oneself through the power (the influence and enablement) of the Holy Spirit.

• It requires continual exposure of our mind to the word of God and continual
prayer for the Holy Spirit to give us both the desire and power to exercise
self-control.

• It is a sign of spiritual maturity.

• God encourages us to practice self-control.

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But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-
control. Against such things there is no law.
 Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to
abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your
soul.

1 Peter 2:11

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all
men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we
should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age,
looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great
God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He
might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself
His own special people, zealous for good works.

Titus 2:11-14
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Lack of self-control
Lack of self-control is the inability to restrain one's emotions,
desires, or impulses.

People who lack self-control often give in to impulsive behavior and

emotions. This means that they may make poor choices that harm
themselves or others and react poorly when they don’t get what they
want. They may also respond in a variety of ways, including displays of
anger, physical violence, or by turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms.

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Areas where we often lack self-control:
1. Eati ng and drinking - Not just people who are overweight, but those conti nually give in to
the desire for certain foods or drinks. The person who drinks 10 cans of cola a day, or the
person who must have ice-cream every day, those who claim they cannot get through the day
without coff ee, etc. It is the "tendency to indulge our desires so that they control us instead of
us controlling those desires".

2. Temper - has to do with people who are short-tempered and easily angered. Anger is usually
considered a sin, but even just the tendency to be easily angered shows a lack of self-control.

3. Personal fi nances - Includes racking up debt, spending beyond one’s means and also
indulging oneself with whatever one desires. Compulsive shopping, gambling, also fall under
this.

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Lack of self-control
Lack of self-control isn’t always very obvious.

It can involve activities that are not considered sinful if done in moderation.

It can lead to more serious sin or to other issues if we choose to minimize or

tolerate it. A lack of control of our tongue, for example, opens the door to all
manner of defiling speech such as sarcasm, gossip, slander, and ridicule.

Despite scriptural teachings on self-control, this is one virtue that receives little
conscious attention from most Christians. We have boundaries from our Christian
culture that tend to restrain us from obvious sins, but within those boundaries we
pretty much live as we please. We seldom say “no” to our desires and emotions.”

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Other examples of a lack of self-control:


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Lack of self-control
“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without
walls” (Proverbs 25:28). In biblical times, a city’s walls were its chief
means of defense. If the walls were breached, an invading army could
pour into the city and conquer it. We recall from the account of the fall of
Jericho that God caused its walls to collapse so that the army of Israel
could easily move in and take the city (Joshua 6:1-5,20).”

“In the same way that a city without walls was

vulnerable to an invading army, so a person
without self-control is vulnerable to all kinds of
temptations.”

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 The case of Solomon
“Unfortunately, Solomon, who wrote those words in Proverbs 25:28, is a sad but
striking demonstration of his own words. The Scriptures record that Solomon had seven
hundred wives and three hundred concubines, all from nations concerning which the
Lord had said to the people of Israel that they should not take wives (see 1 Kings 11:1-
3).

But Solomon gave free reign to his passions and totally disregarded God’s prohibition .
As the wealthiest potentate of that era, Solomon had access to all he might desire. But
instead of exercising self-control, he disregarded his own words of wisdom and let his
passions run out of control. Solomon paid a heavy price for his lack of self-control. His
wives turned his heart away from God. Because of that, God divided Solomon’s
kingdom in the days of his son Rehoboam, and the Davidic dynasty was crippled from
that time forward.”

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The case of Solomon
Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the daughter of Pharaoh:
Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations
concerning which the LORD had said to the people of Israel, “You shall not enter into
marriage with them, neither shall they with you, for surely they will turn away your
heart after their gods.” Solomon clung to these in love. He had 700 wives, who were
princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart. For when
Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was
not wholly true to the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father. For
Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and after Milcom the
abomination of the Ammonites. So Solomon did what was evil in the sight of
the LORD and did not wholly follow the LORD, as David his father had done.

1 Kings 11:1-6
The case of Solomon
And at that time, when Jeroboam went out of Jerusalem, the prophet Ahijah the
Shilonite found him on the road. Now Ahijah had dressed himself in a new garment,
and the two of them were alone in the open country. Then Ahijah laid hold of the
new garment that was on him, and tore it into twelve pieces. 31 And he said to
Jeroboam, “Take for yourself ten pieces, for thus says the LORD, the God of Israel,
‘Behold, I am about to tear the kingdom from the hand of Solomon and will give
you ten tribes (but he shall have one tribe, for the sake of my servant David and for
the sake of Jerusalem, the city that I have chosen out of all the tribes of
Israel), because they have forsaken me and worshiped Ashtoreth the goddess of the
Sidonians, Chemosh the god of Moab, and Milcom the god of the Ammonites, and
they have not walked in my ways, doing what is right in my sight and keeping my
statutes and my rules, as David his father did.

1 Kings 11:29-33 13
Lack of self-control
Through words and personal examples, the Bible says much about self-control. Solomon
backslid horribly because he lacked self-control.

Other Examples of a Lack of Self-Control in the Bible

The most obvious example of lack of self-control in the Bible is that of Adam and Eve. They
could not resist the fruit of the forbidden tree and plunged us all into a world full of sin.

David was also known to forgo his self-control as is seen with Bathsheba. Not only does he
act on his lust, but he has her husband killed.

As far as lack of self-control regarding women, we should mention Samson. His great
strength was taken from him because he gave into a wicked woman.

Moses struck the rock in frustration as the children of Israel murmured and complained. His
lack of self-control lost him entrance to the promised land.

Lack of self-control gives the devil a foothold in our lives and robs us of God’s blessings.
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What the Bible has to say about self-
control:
“The Scriptures, both in Proverbs and the letters of the New Testament,
have a lot to say about self-control. Paul lists it as one expression of the
fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23), and he includes a lack of
self-control in the list of vices characteristic of the last days (2
Timothy 3:3). His instructions to Titus regarding his ministry in Crete
included several exhortations to teach self-control (see Titus 2:2,5,6),
and a reminder that the same grace that brings salvation also trains us
to live self-controlled lives (see Titus 2:11-12). Then Peter urges us to
be sober-minded, or self-controlled, several times in his two letters (see
1 Peter 1:13; 4:7; 5:8; 2 Peter 1:5).

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 Godlessness in the Last Days

But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For
people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant,
abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable,
slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous,
reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of
God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such
people.

The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and 2 Timothy 3:1-5
sober-minded for the sake of your prayers.

1 Peter 4:7
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the
devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone
to devour.
1 Peter 5:8
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 “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all
people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly
passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in
the present age” (Titus 2:11-12).

“Go ahead, experience it. Buy it. Try it. It’s your right. You’ve earned it.”

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 Exercising self-control
“ because the virtue of self-control receives so little emphasis among Christians, we may find that we, at least
in certain areas of life, do lack self-control. As you seek to grow in the area of self-control, remember it is a
fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23). It is only by God’s enabling power that we can make any progress.”

-Knowing it is easy for us to say yes instead of no, and indulge in sinful desires, God emphasizes self-control
repeatedly. It is even listed as a fruit of the Spirit. Biblical self-control is not control by our own willpower,
but rather control of ourselves through the power of the Holy Spirit.

“One of the ways we can exercise self-control is by

removing or getting away from whatever tempts us to
indulge our desires.”
“we cannot pick and choose the areas of life in which we will
exercise self-control.”

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How to develop self-control:
• Admit you have a problem.
- As humans, we have a tendency to deny, rationalize, minimize or
blame others for our lack of self-control
• Don’t dwell on past failures or mistakes.
• Master your emotions.
• Believe you can change with God’s help.
• Flee from temptation.
• Depend on Christ’s power.

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Some things to think about:
1. In what areas do you struggle with self-control?
What can you change to exercise more self-control in
these areas?

2. Why do you think God urges us to practice self-control? What

happens when we choose to indulge in our desires? What are
the dangers of not having self-control?

3. Can you share any stories of how God helps you/has helped
you practice self-control?

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Some things to think about:
- Sometimes excessive behavior/choosing the easy or more comfortable way out
acts as a coping mechanism or a temporary solution to our problems/hardships.
- We have to realize that God is the only one who can fill the emptiness we feel in
our lives.

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