Reciprocities

for my mother

By Cathal Lagan
Background of the author
• Charles “Cathal” Lagan was born in Northern Ireland in
1937, having moved to the Eastern Cape in 1962 and
remained there until his death. After a spell in the
merchant navy, he came to South Africa where he served
as a priest in Port Elizabeth, Alice and King William’s
Town.
• Thereafter he taught English literature at the University of
Fort Hare. Lagan has been publishing poetry in journals
since the 1960s. He has published two anthologies:
Sandbird and A Lark in the Labyrinth.
• Lagan preferred to use the Gaelic form of his name,
Cathal instead of Charles, for his published poetry.
Gaelic is a Celtic language spoken mainly in the
highlands and islands of western Scotland.
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Background of the author
• He was part of a poetry group in the Eastern Cape, called
the Echo Poets, along with friends and colleagues Brian
Walter, Norman Morissey, and Basil Somhlalo.
• Cathal Lagan was a Reverend – he had served in the
ministry as a priest, initially in the Roman Catholic and
after that, in the Anglican tradition – and would often
include religious imagery into his poems.

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The Poem
1. She gave me skeins of wool
2. To hold out (like a priest at Mass),
3. With stern rubrics not to fidget, while she
4. Wound it into a ball, unwinding me,
5. Unravelling my hands and arms, checking
6. My lapses with a gentle tug
7. When I wandered off through images
8. Her chat had made, for though
9. She kept the line between us taut
10. She kept my heart at ease with all her talk.

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The Poem
11. And when her ball compacted grew,
12. And my few strands fell limp away,
13. I knew there was no loss, for she
14. Would knit it back again to fit me perfectly.

15. But richer still,

16. I see today these lines are drawn out from me
17. To knit through this faltering verse
18. A thread of memory
19. Time has pulled away from consciousness.

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The Title
• Reciprocity = Equivalent exchange; mutual give and take;
respond to (a gesture or action) by making a corresponding
one; (of a part of a machine) move backwards and forwards in
a straight line.

• A state of mutual dependence.

• This poem is about mutual benefits. The mother would be

assisted by the boy when knitting. The boy has grown up to be
a man, and he now writes poetry. He compares his writing to
his mother’s knitting.

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The Dedication
• “for my mother”

• The dedication implies that (by looking at the title) it is a

mutual give and take between a mother and her child.

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Examples of reciprocity in the
poem
• Line 1: “She gave me” She is physically giving him
skeins of wool
• Line 2: To hold out (he is reciprocating by doing a
task for his mother)
• Lines 4-6: “Wound it into a ball, unwinding
me/Unravelling my hands and arms” She is taking the
wool from him, but “checking/My lapses with a
gentle tug” she is also giving him reminders.

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Examples of reciprocity in the
poem
• Line 7-10: “She kept the line” and “She kept my
heart” also means the mother is taking, but she is
giving back by telling him stories “She kept my
heart at ease with all her talk” which he enjoyed so
much he would “wander[ed] off through images
her chat had made”

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Examples of reciprocity in the
poem
• Lines 11-14: “her ball compacted grew” she is
taking and he is giving so much “my few strands
fell limp away”, but he “knew there was no loss,
for she/Would knit it back again” she is giving him
the final product, so he gave his time and energy,
and she is giving him love and warmth and raising
him – her teachings and lessons he’s learnt will
“keep him warm” throughout his life.

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Examples of reciprocity in the
poem
• Lines 16-18: “these lines are drawn out from
me/To knit through this faltering verse/A thread of
memory”. The speaker is taking the words our
from himself (including the lessons learned) and
putting it down on paper, dedicating it to his
mother – he is giving back to her. This is one of the
biggest reciprocities in the poem. The speaker is
using everything she gave him, to give back to her
as best he can.
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Examples of reciprocity in the
poem
• Line 19: Time takes as well – the speaker implies
here that we must take from time, and learn from
his “Time has pulled away from consciousness”
but he is fighting against this and taking what he
can – memories of his mother and the lessons and
love she gave to him.

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Type and Form
This is a lyrical poem written in free verse.
The speaker expresses his personal feelings and
relates a heartfelt memory of a shared experience
between him and his mother.
The poem consists of three stanzas of varying length.
Each stanza consists of one sentence each.
Each stanza is connected to the previous one with a
conjunction that joins the ideas into a single thought.

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Type and Form
It is written in free verse – there is no set rhyme
scheme. Only line 2 and line 3 rhyme: ‘she’ and ‘me’.
This is a clever way to emphasise the bond between
the two of them.
In line 1, This line flows over into the next, as it
completes the idea. The enjambment here, in line 3
and from line 5 to 10, emphasises the continuous
routine of a son holding out his hands for his mother
to untangle and roll up the wool in order to knit
something new with it.

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Enjambment
After line 1, the line flows over into the next, as it
completes the idea. The enjambment here, in line 3
and from line 5 to 10, emphasises the continuous
routine of a son holding out his hands for his mother
to untangle and roll up the wool in order to knit
something new with it.

Also seen line 16 and runs through to the last line of

the poem, emphasising the continuous influence of his
mother and the memories inspired by it.

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Tone and mood
• The tone is appreciative because the speaker
appreciates the lessons he learnt from his mother.
• The mood is gentle, nostalgic and reflective. It
effectively portrays their relationship of mutual
love and respect for each other.
• The tone is equally gentle, loving and caring.

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Tone and mood
• He is grateful and appreciative when he
remembers their shared experiences. It leaves him
with a feeling of harmonious wholeness.
• The tone is reflective and nostalgic, as the speaker
looks back on the past and the memories that were
created.
• The speaker feels nostalgic and sentimental when
he writes this poem as a tribute to his mother.
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Theme 1: Nostalgia
 The speaker longs for the time he has
spent with his mother and some of the
activities they did while being
together.
 When he writes, he feels connected to
his mother and this reinforces the idea
of nostalgia.

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 Theme 2:
Mutual Dependence
 The mother benefits from the boy who
holds the skeins of cotton for her.
 The boy also benefits from spending
time in his mother’s company. Her
focus and creativity find its way into
his writing.

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 Theme 3:
Love and gratitude
 The poem is a tribute to the speaker's
mother and expresses his love and
gratitude towards her.
 It highlights the importance of family
and the role of a mother in shaping her
child's life and thinking.

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 Theme 4:
Motherhood
 The relationship between the speaker
and his mother is the central theme of
the poem.
 The mother is portrayed as a caring,
patient and nurturing figure who
provides the speaker with love, support
and guidance.
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 Theme 5:
Memory
 The poet reflects on and explores the
idea of cherished childhood memories
and how they shape our identity.

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Vocabulary
Word Basic meaning
skeins length of thread loosely coiled or knotted

a set of instructions or rules – especially as to how a

rubrics
church service should be conducted

brief or temporary loss of concentration / lapse in

lapse
moral judgement (sin)

taut tight

compacted compressed or firmly packed together - grown

strand a thin length of thread

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Vocabulary
Word Basic meaning
faltering imperfect
Church service in Roman Catholic religion – lead by
Mass
a priest.

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Summary
 In this narrative free verse, the speaker
reflects on how he used to help his mother
during her knitting sessions.
 He remembers how his mother would make
him hold the skeins of wool so she could
roll it into a ball.
 He is also reminded of the relationship they
had.

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Summary
 He is now a writer and his writing process
reminds him of those childhood years.
 He compares his writing to his mother's
knitting.
 His mother benefitted from him just like he
benefited from his mother’s experience,
commitment, talks and skill.

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Stanza 1
 In stanza one, the speaker looks at the process of
winding or spinning wool into a ball.
 His mother would give him skeins to hold with two
hands held up and wide apart.
 Holding his hands like that would make him look
like a priest at a mass (line 2).
 He would be given instructions to follow just like a
priest would follow instructions from the rubrics
(line 3).

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Stanza 1
 He would be told not to move or twitch (‘not to
fidget’ in line 3).
 As the process went on his head would spin,
resulting in his confusion and wandering. He would
drop his hands.
 She would check his concentration by pulling the
strands harder (‘… checking/ My lapses with a
gentle tug’ in lines 5 and 6).
 If he loses concentration and his mind starts
wandering, his mother puts him at ease by talking to
him.

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Stanza 2
 When the ball of firm, strong wool grew
bigger and bigger (line 11) it was a sign that
there was no loss and they had enough for his
mother to knit something for him.

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Stanza 3
 Looking back, he now realises that the
imperfect poems he creates are not as perfect
as his mother’s knitting.
 His writing is like a thread that connects him
to his mother.
 Writing poetry always prompts his thoughts
about his mother’s knitting.
 ‘But’ (line 15) is used to show transition or to
link his childhood to adulthood.

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Extended metaphor
• The relationship with his mother, her style of
parenting and her influence on his development is
compared to the process of knitting a sweater.
• It flows between gentle and stern – the give and
take of parenting.
• The string of wool is used as an extended metaphor
to describe the relationship between the two of
them – a ‘tight’, loving relationship.
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Extended metaphor
• Writing poetry is like knitting – the words are like
wool, that has to be thread and knitted carefully to
create a final product.
• Literally, a sweater
• Figuratively, a poem

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Reciprocities
for my mother

Line by Line analysis

1. She gave me skeins of wool

2. To hold out (like a priest at Mass),

Simile: Compares the speaker’s held out hands to a priest

blessing the people during Mass – likens the ritual with his
mother to a religious/precious experience.

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3. With stern rubrics not to fidget, while she
Metaphor: Compares the instructions of church to
parental discipline – stern but gentle

Literal: she takes the wool off the speaker’s arms, and
he starts relaxing as the process continues

4. Wound it into a ball, unwinding me,

Figurative: Parenting – the mother gives him the

freedom to unravel, and helps put him together again

Links to title: Give and take – mother gets wool from

the son, who holds it out for her = reciprocity 35
5. Unravelling my hands and arms, checking
Literal: the boy has a tendency for his thoughts to
wander – it might lead to him losing his grip. Her
gentle tug brough his attention back to his task.

6. My lapses with a gentle tug

Figurative: She kept him and his faith strong when he

faltered or when he went through difficult moments in
his life through gentle parenting

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7. When I wandered off through images
Metaphor: walking away compared to going deeply
into one’s thoughts. The boy is at ease, so he starts
daydreaming

8. Her chat had made, for though

Her talking/stories made him distracted – he would

daydream and lose focus on his “job”. Emphasises the
friendly, informal nature of the mother’s conversation

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 Literal: the string he is holding as he is helping his
mother

Contrast = tight
9. She kept the line between us taut line / heart relaxed
Metaphor: the string of wool is compared suggests he was
to the bond between mother and son – she reprimanded
kept her son close, didn’t let him stray too lovingly when
far. Their bond was strong. needed.

10. She kept my heart at ease with all her talk.

She kept him calm and at peace – both while helping

her, and in life itself

The length of the first stanza reflects the length of their

chats and time spent together. 38
 The ball of yarn is bigger – indicates they have been
spinning for some time and have a lot of string

11. And when her ball compacted grew,

Last few strands that leave his

hands as his mother finished
Strings the unwinding

12. And my few strands fell limp away,

She kept him calm and at peace – both while helping

her, and in life itself

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 Metaphor: The loss of loose strings is compared to the
loss of time/effort/moral behaviour

13. I knew there was no loss, for she,

Emphasises their bond – she knows him perfectly

inside and out (size)

14. Would knit it back again to fit me perfectly.

The sweater/item she knitted symbolises a mother’s

love, devotion and contribution to his development
into adulthood. She is turning him into a well-adapted
adult.
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 Transitional word: it links the speaker’s past to the
present. He is now in the present

15. But richer still,

His mother’s influence

means even more now

16. I see today these lines are drawn out from me

Metaphor: The lines of thread he used to help his mother spin

is compared to the lines of poetry that he is now writing – it
suggests that his mother’s influence is visible in his present life,
thoughts and emotions.
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 Struggling – the speaker is struggling to put the words
together well enough to make a complete poem

17. To knit through this faltering verse

18. A thread of memory

Metaphor: The lines of thread are compared to pieces of
memory we draw/carry from earlier times into the present.

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 Time has lessened the effect /memories of his mother’s
lessons, but he uses what he can remember to write this poem
to remember her and what she taught forever.

19. Time has pulled away from consciousness.

Reciprocity – his mother formed him and shaped him, showed

him love. He returns her love through this poem and shows his
gratitude for her advice and parenting.

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