Circle of Courage

Donna Nikiforuk
Feb. 26, 2013
What is Circle of Courage?
• a model of youth
empowerment supported by
contemporary research and
Native philosophies of child
care.
• is encompassed in four core
values: belonging, mastery,
independence, and generosity
• is about living a well balanced,
passionate life
• is grounding – a calm,
respectful approach to working
with youth
Today’s Agenda
• Background for Circle of Courage
• Meet the mentors
– Learn some key elements through this
journey
• How you can use Circle of Courage in
schools
• A little about Restitution Theory and RAP
• Connecting C of C to Bullying Issues
Welcome!
Janzen Fun
What’s important in schools?
• S afe environment
• C ompetent teachers creating engaging lessons
• H olistic teaching that honours the whole child
• Academic, Social, Emotional, Spiritual, Physical
• O kay to make a mistake
• (How we respond when mistakes are made is key.)
• O h WOW factor! See what I just learned!
• L oads of fun happening daily
• where staff and students love to be
• S upport for each other – staff and students
HOW DO WE ACCOMPLISH THIS?
My Journey
• Teacher, Itinerant, Vice Principal, Principal in
RPS for 30 years
• Three key influences:
– President of Saskatchewan Health Educators
Association – 1992 – 1994
• Restitution Theory – Diane Chelsom-Gossen
– Circle of Courage – No Disposable Kids Conference in
2003
– Response Ability Pathways Trainer – 2007 (RAP)
• A Career Highlight: Received the RPS Shared
Values Award 2012 – nominated by my community
 What I learned about
Restitution Theory
- Diane Chelsom-Gossen and William Glassier

• Responding to 5 Needs
– Survival: physical necessities
– Belonging: love and compassion
– Fun: passions, enthusiasm, feeding your spirit
– Freedom: choices, daring to dream
– Power: significant personal power,
competence and mastery
External Motivation vs.
Internal Motivation
• External:
– Is about rules > consequences and rewards
• Internal:
– Is about beliefs > acting because it is the
right thing to do, because this is the person I
want to be
– Turn your language around:
• I am proud of you > You should be so proud of
yourself
 THE CIRCLE OF COURAGE
Generosity

Independence Belonging

Mastery

When these needs are met, children are resilient and thrive.
 Circle of Courage
was a part of RAP.

RAP training was piloted in South Africa. President Nelson Mandela formed a commission
on young people at risk headed by his welfare minister. She chose Lesley du Toit (co-author
of the RAP manual) to manage transformation of services to this population. The Circle of
Courage and RAP became the model for training staff in child and youth care, education, and
youth justice.
 Meet those who developed this philosophy.

Dr. Steve Van Bockern

Dr. John Seita
Dr. Larry Brendtro Dr. Martin Brokenleg
At a “No Disposable Kids”Conference,
Larry started with…
• A person who disrespects others is almost always one
who has not been treated with dignity and respect
themselves.
– “Hurt people hurt people”

• Shaming students into submission has been a core

practice in adult dominance models of education.
– “If I can make this person feel bad enough, they will
never do this again”
– Why doesn’t this work?
• This just adds to the pain in their lives they
already feel.
• They stop thinking about their behaviour and start
thinking about yours.
• In a typical year, 3,000,000 children in the U.S.
enter the child welfare system because of
allegations of neglect or abuse.

• 60% of victims of bullying experience their abuse

at the hands of other kids…40% at the hands of
adults

• In 400 hours of video-documented episodes of

bullying adults noticed and intervened in only one
out of every 25 episodes (4% of the time).
– Why?
• They really don’t see most incidents.
• They dismissed the incident as insignificant.
• They didn’t know how to respond.
Adult behaviour that is liked
• Calm
• Joking
• Offers to help
• Fairness
• Explains how and what
• Politeness
• Gets right to the point
• Smiling
• Positive feedback
Adult Behaviours that kids most dislike

• Blaming and accusing

• Shouting
• No opportunity to speak
• Insulting remarks
• Unpleasant physical contact
• Unfriendly or unpleasant
• Bossing
• Lack of understanding
Martin talked about…
– Indicators of chemical abuse…
– Jail study in South Dakota…
• 60% of white population reoffend
• 100% of First Nations population reoffend
• Rehabilitation Non Present
– Drinkers…
• Characteristics of alcoholism can be traced to gr. 11…gr. 7…gr. 2.
• Cycles of dysfunction
– Violence…
• Male vs. female (overt vs. covert)
• Most violent year of school *What is it?
Grade 7
 Reclaiming Youth:
Martin Brokenleg:
• “A power struggle is like wrestling with a
pig. The pig has fun and you get dirty.”
• “It’s not mandatory, but it helps if we’re a
little more disturbed than our children.”
• “Reclaiming movement is just as much
about a mindset as a practice.”
• Seeing the greatness in children:
– Einstein had a low-average IQ in school
– Churchill was a behaviour problem
John referred to Seabiscuit…
 Smallish… misunderstood… mishandled… runty little
thing… lazy, dead lazy... mean…

 Tom Smith: “Get me that horse… he has real stuff in

him… I can improve him… I’m positive of it!”

…seeing that everyone has strengths…

“So long as you treat him like a gentleman, he’ll run his
heart out for you.”

“In the fiftieth start of his life, Seabiscuit finally understood

the game.”

“The fire that kept Seabiscuit frustrated and unruly [with his
previous trainer] now fueled a bounding will to win.”

“The horse, the jockey, and the trainer have to work in

unison to win the race.”
- the home, the community, the school
What Steve talks about…
• How you build a Circle of Courage school.
• Shared Vision
• EQ is as important as IQ
• Staff have instructional competence.
• “Schools can be great places for children if
they are led by competent and caring
adults.”
 The Circle of Courage

In your groups, talk about words or phrases that would

describe what each of these values is about.
Belonging: “You are unique”
• Feeling like you belong includes:
– Having friends
– Having fun
– Joining in
– Playing well with others
– Being okay with who you are
• Helping others belong includes: Throughout aboriginal
history, the tribe, not the
– Accepting others as they are nuclear family ensured the
– Treating other respectfully survival of the culture.

– Including others
– Being friendly, kind and helpful
Elephant and Dog Story
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v
=cBtFTF2ii7U
Don’t just talk about belonging,
live it, demonstrate it,
incorporate it into curriculum.
Don’t Laugh at Me.

- talk about the lyrics

- talk about personal stories
- allow kids to experience emotions
Mastery: “You are valuable”
- Discovering what you are good at
- Putting your best effort in, even when
things are hard.
- Learning
- Problem Solving
- Gifts and Talents
- Discovering talents in sports, art, music
The first lesson in
and other things. traditional Native
American culture is to
carefully observe those
with more experience in
order to learn from them.
When we are looking for
mastery…
• Be on a treasure hunt, not a witch hunt.
• Think about multiple intelligences
• Know about self-regulation practices.
• Consider adaptations that meet kids needs
• Think about gifts and talents
– What are your gifts? How do you use them?
Working with kids to achieve
mastery…
• Patience, patience, patience
 How do boys and girls learn differently?
From Leonard Sax – “Boys Adrift”
When boys were asked, “What enables you to learn?”,
the following 4-‘F’s” emerged:

• Fun
• Firm
• Friendly
• Focused
– Has nothing to do with the gender of the
teacher
– Boys will not learn from someone unless they
think you like them.
Independence: “You have choices”
Independence is about making
good choices:
• I know how to control my own
behavior.
• I know the right thing to do.
• I make good choices. Kids need to learn how
• It’s okay to make a mistake. to make positive
choices. This is not
done by adults telling
them what they should
do. It comes from
helping them find the
answers within them.
 Making the right choices
X factor

Think of all the challenges this boy has faced.

What choices has he had to make in his life?
He is a role model for us all to have the COURAGE
to make the best of what we have and who we are and
make daily choices that reflect this.
Generosity: “You need others”
Generosity is about giving and
forgiving:
• Sharing
• Helping
• Playing fair
• Forgiving others when they A principal virtue in
make a mistake Native American
Culture is generosity
• Cheering people up when they – giving time,
showing respect and
are sad is about having a practicing a forgiving
nature.
generous spirit
Making a difference
Softball Dream
 Traditional Haida Symbols

• Raven: Wisdom (Mastery)

• Whale: Family (Belonging)

• Wolf: Independence (Responsibility)

• Salmon: Generosity (Respect)  “Giver of Life”

What is the most influential
thing a teacher can do?
• Be a positive role model
– Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry
that they are always watching you.
 ~Robert Fulghum

– Be the change you want to see in the world

 Mahatma Gandhi
How do your children see you
reacting to others?

– If they see criticism, they will learn that.

– If they see judgment, they will learn that.
– If they see understanding and caring, they
will learn that.
Connections to Bullying
• What’s the difference between teasing and
bullying?
• What does it mean to be ‘kind’. Let’s
adopt a ‘be kind to one another’ policy
• What ways can we practice this?
– Have kids help you list ways
– Pay it forward
– Model “kind” and point out when you see kindness
Connect Circle of Courage to
Bullying
• When you teach about the Circle talk about how
it takes “courage” to be the best we can be.
• Surveys help give us information and provide
and a voice for students
• Honour the results
– What are the students saying?
– Where do you need to focus your efforts?
Connections
• Belonging – Mastery – Independence – Generosity

– Have to begin with belonging so students feel accepted for who

they are

– Build on what student strengths are and what they have to offer.
We build on these strengths for new learning.

– Belonging and Mastery leads to making positive choices for self

and in life long learning

– Through developing a positive self, students learn then to be

generous with others
Believe…
• Believe in kids and all they can become.
• Do you believe?

• Don’t just know about the Circle of

Courage, teach kids about it, talk about it,
set goals using it.