LOVE, INTIMACY, AND RELATIONSHIP

LESSON OBJECTIVES:
• Define terms such as “love”, “attraction”, “intimacy”,
“relationship” and other related terms;
• Discuss different theories of love;
• Identify needs issues and concerns experienced by people who
are in a romantic relationship; and
• Reflect upon one’s attitudes towards love, intimacy, and
relationship.
Definition of Terms:
LOVE – a complex
phenomenon characterized
by an effective and cognitive
inclination to someone and
a set of social behaviors
geared towards cohesion.
Definition of Terms:
INTIMACY – the
psychosocial component of
love; knowing and being
known by someone in a
deeply personal level;
emotional closeness and
connection.
Definition of Terms:

PASSION – the
emotive and physical
component of love;
drive towards sexual
and romantic attraction.
Definition of Terms:

COMMITMENT –
decision to engage and
maintain a loving
relationship.
Definition of Terms:
RELATIONSHIP – social
bond between and among
individuals manifested through
communication and other forms
of interaction. This bond may be
biological or determined by
social contracts such as social
consensus or law.
 “Filipinos most expressive about love among Asia Pacific
countries – study” (Hegina 2015). The article presented an
interesting result: The Filipinos say “I Love You” approximately
17 times in a week, making us sixth among the countries in the
survey, which are most articulate and expressive.
~McCann World Group
(feb. 15, 2015)
 Robert Sternberg, a psychologist renowned for his
theory of love asked, in 1986 paper: What does it mean
“to love” someone? Does it always mean the same thing,
and if not, in what ways do loves differ from each other?”
in this chapter, we will tackle, perhaps, one of the most
complex and celebrated human emotion and experience:
love.
 LOVE AS A HUMAN
EXPERIENCE
Love is a human experience
differently defined and
conceptualized.
LOVE AS A CULTURE UNIVERSAL
Love is construed as culture universal. A
culture universal is a phenomenon
experienced similarly by people across
time and cultures. This means that
humans, whether those who lived in the
past or who are living now and
regardless of their geographic location
and socio-cultural identities, have
experienced love, in one way or another.
 LOVE AS A SOCIAL PHENOMENON
Social phenomena are events or
experiences which ensue within our
interaction and relationship with other
people. Love entails communication- the
process of giving and receiving
information between and among people.
It also entails the use of a language –
symbols that are culturally agreed upon
as possessing certain realities and
worldviews.
LOVE AS AN EMOTION
Emotions are physiological responses that we
evaluate psychologically as we experience
particularly life events. These are the basic
emotions such as joy, sadness, fear, disgust, and
anger among others. There are also complex
emotions, which are the combination of basic
emotions in varying magnitudes and are made
intricate by circumstances surrounding the
experience (e.g., people involved, the place and
time where the emotion is experienced, etc.).
Love, as we know it, is a complex emotion.
LOVE AS A NEUROBIOLOGICAL EVENTS
Love, can now studied as neurobiological events.
Every split of information is being passed on
within our nervous system – a conglomerate of
organs (including our brain our spinal cord, and
our nerves, among others) responsible for our
ability to process and transmit essential
information among the many organs in our body.
The information comes in the form of electrical
signals running along or neurons (nerve cell),
which the movement is facilitated by our
neurotransmitter – a variety of chemicals found in
our nervous system.
LOVE AS A NEUROBIOLOGICAL EVENTS
Neurobiologically, the experience of love is
associated with various parts of brain. For
instance, the loving experience is
commonly associated with the activation
of the Ventral Tegmental Area (VTA) of our
brain which is just right behind our left
eyes. It is also associated with the
increased amount in endorphins –
hormones believed to provide humans a
good mood.
VENTRAL TEGMENTAL
AREA – It is located in the
midbrain controls diverse
behavioral repertoire,
including reward
processing, aversion,
stress modulation, drug
addiction, learning, and
memory.
THEORIZING LOVE
PYCHODYNAMIC VIEW ON LOVE
The psychodynamic theory
(Sigmund Frued) posits that we
have desires and motives fueled
by our life (eros) and death
(Thanatos) instincts.
 COLOR WHEEL OF LOVE
Jhon Alan Lee (1973), a Canadian
psychologist, suggested that
there different types of love.

PRIMARY TYPES: Eros ( sexual

and romantic), Philia (friendly),
and Storage (parental/filial love).
COLOR WHEEL OF LOVE
SECONDARY TYPES:
Pragma (practical love),
Agape (universal love),
and Storge and Philautia
(self love).
TRIANGULAR MODEL OF LOVE
(Sternberg (1986), psychologist)
 One of the most popular theories of
love.
 This theory looks at love from a
psychometric stance, which means that
it is generally concerned about trying to
measure love as a psychological
variable and in determining the various
dimensions and facets that love has as
experienced by people.
TRIANGULAR MODEL OF LOVE
(Sternberg (1986), psychologist)
INTERLOCKING DIMENSIONS OF LOVE:
PASSION, INTIMACY, AND COMMITMENT.
PASSION- refers to the physical/emotional
aspects.
INTIMACY- pertains to the
psychological/relational aspects.
COMMITMENT- pertains to the agency
component, that is the choice of these
dimensions yields a particular love type.
ROMANTIC and COMPANIONATE
LOVE
Hatfield and Rapson
(1917,1993), suggests
that there two general
types of love: romantic
love and the
companionate love.
ROMANTIC and COMPANIONATE
LOVE
ROMANTIC LOVE – is characterized
by intense passion – “a state of
intense longing for union with your
partner.
COMPANIONATE LOVE – is
characterized by intense intimacy –
emotional closeness – which is also
characteristic of liking.
 LOVE LANGUAGE
Gary chapman, a world-renown
author, suggested that people
have various ways through which
we give and receive love. He
referred these unique ways as
love language. FIVE LOVE
LANGUAGE: Words of affirmation,
touch, time, gifts, acts of service.
 LOVE LANGUAGE
Word of affirmation – tend to verbally
express their thoughts and feelings of
love towards the people they love.
Touch – express love non-verbally
through hugs, kisses, or simply a tap
on the back.
Time – tend to value quality moments
 LOVE LANGUAGE
Gift – want to show and receive
affection through material
objects, especially during special
occasions.
Act of service – are much willing
to serve the other person by
helping her/him in things that
they do.
Love and Intimate Relationship
George Levinger (1982) postulated
that there are stages that intimate
relationships go through: (1)
acquaintance, (2) buildup, (3)
continuation or consolidation, (4)
deterioration or decline, (5)
ending or termination. Simply, the
A,B,C,D,E of intimate relationship.
Love and Intimate Relationship
1. ACQUAINTANCE – we meet up
through circumstances and first
learn basic information about one
another. Crucial at this stage is
attraction.
2. BUILDUP – some acquaintance
build up into deeper relationships.
Frequency of interaction
increases.
Love and Intimate Relationship
3. CONSOLIDATION – when
people commits to along-term
relationship with one another,
either through a personal
agreement (i.e., exclusivity of
partnership or a social-legal
agreement (i.e., marriage)
Love and Intimate Relationship
4. DECLINE – some intimate
relationships are unable to sustain
and maintain their commitments or
attraction. For one, there are may
be a change of priorities between
the individual couple, such that
conjoint value of the partnership is
not anymore sufficient.
Love and Intimate Relationship
5. ENDING – for those intimate
partnership who are unable to address
the causes and circumstances leading to
the deterioration of their relationship, the
stages culminate into ending or
termination of the agreement made
(either personal or social-legal) through
informal (e. g., collective decision to end
the relationship) or formal (e. g., marriage
dissolution) means.
THANK YOU!