Dealing with

students’ separation
anxiety
Ghazal Kabiri
 2

What Is Separation
Anxiety?
The American Academy
of Pediatrics defines
separation anxiety as
“the distress that
children show when
being separated from
their primary
caregivers.”
In young children (from infancy
to around age 5), separation
anxiety is considered a normal
part of childhood development,
and in most cases will resolve
over time.
Separation anxiety in lower grade students
may present as crying, tantrums, or
clinginess, and these are all healthy
reactions for a child to have when
separating from a loved one
How to Deal With
Children With Symptoms
of Separation Anxiety?
1. Introduce Yourself Ahead of Time
2. Be the Primary Point of Contact
3. Give the Student a Special Role
4. Acknowledge the Student’s Feelings
5. Acknowledge the Parents’ Feelings
6. Let Parents Know How You’ll
Communicate
7. Minimize Morning Rush
8. Normalize the Feelings Associated with
Separation Anxiety
9. Offer the Student Options
10. Create a Visual Timetable for the Student
 5

Introduce Yourself Ahead of Time

For many students, the first day of school is the very first
time they will meet you face-to-face, and that can be
scary. If your district doesn’t hold an open house before
school begins for children to meet you, we suggest
sending home a meet-the-teacher letter ahead of the first
day of school.

This will give students a chance to get to know a little bit

about you to ease some of the “scary” that comes with
meeting a perfect stranger.
 6

Be the Primary Point of Contact

Your anxious student needs to develop a sense of trust and a feeling of
safety with you. Try to make sure that you, the classroom teacher, are
consistently the person who greets any anxious little ones in your class
in those early days of school. This will also help you get to know the
parents and establish a routine and rhythm for the handover.
Give the Student a Special Role

Offer your worried student a

very special helping role, like
handing out glue sticks, setting
out worksheets, dusting the
board, or being the “login”
helper at the computers
 8

Acknowledge the Student’s Feelings

Click icon to add picture Click icon to add picture Click icon to add picture Click icon to add picture

Get down to the student’s level and make eye

contact, and let them know that it’s okay for
them to feel upset. Remind the child that they
are in a safe and secure place, with kind and
caring people (children and adults)
P R E S E N T AT I O N T I T L E 9

Try to step into the parents’ shoes for a

moment, because as a mom, dad, or
other caregiver, watching a child become
Acknowledge distressed and then having to leave (often

the Parents’
to face a day of work) is tremendously
upsetting. Assure parents that you will

Feelings
help their child to settle in and that their
little one isn’t the first to have difficulty
separating from them. Build rapport with
the parents, and this will help the child to
develop trust with you, too
 Let Parents Know How
You’ll Communicate
Sometimes parents find it very
hard to leave their child while they
are still crying. If you can, reassure
the parent that you’ll be in touch
to update them (by email or phone
call) during the break on the first
day. Then establish a
communication method that works
for both of you moving forward..
 P R E S E N T AT I O N T I T L E 11

Minimize Morning Rush

Set up a routine that is calm and quiet for
the arrival process. Reading a story could
be a great way to get the children settled
before doing attendance. For older
students, individual desktop reading,
drawing, or writing could be a calming
option. Play some gentle music to
encourage students to slow down. The
morning rush to get to school can, in itself,
be overwhelming, and arriving at a
peaceful space will be calming.
 P R E S E N T AT I O N T I T L E 12

Normalize the Feelings Associated with Separation

Anxiety
As a whole class, read or view The Invisible
String by Patrice Karst and Joanne Lew-
Vriethoff, and facilitate a discussion about the
special people children are separated from, and
the reasons why we may become separated from
loved ones
P R E S E N T AT I O N T I T L E 13

Offer the Student

Options
Once the student is in the door, show them options for
different types of activities they may wish to do before
the morning routine commences. This will help the child
to focus on the mental task of decision-making and may
break them from their loop of anxious thoughts. Be
sure to offer quiet or alone time as well, as some
children will prefer to observe and adjust at their own
pace
Create a Visual
Timetable for the
Student
This could be a whole-class
activity or an individual
task with your anxious
student/s. Having a visual
timetable helps students
with anxiety anticipate
and plan for transitions
and routines throughout
their day
Older Children and Separation
Anxiety
while a little worry about
leaving mom or dad when
older is totally normal (like
when they’re going on
school camp), intense fear
which keeps a child from
experiencing and enjoying
normal activities may be
categorized as Separation
Anxiety Disorder (SAD)
P R E S E N T AT I O N T I T L E 16

• Excessive tiredness due to

lack of sleep/nightmares
While the signs of about being alone.
SAD are similar to • Being worried when away
those of separation from home or family (e.g.
anxiety, they are at school, care, or
more extreme and extracurricular clubs).
prolonged and may • Anxious about the safety of
include: a particular family member.
• Fear of becoming lost.
• Refusing to go to school.
• Fearful of being alone, even in safe environments
(e.g. in a library aisle, in a bathroom stall).

• Frequent tummy aches, headaches, or other physical

complaints

• Excessive worry about personal safety.

• Panic resulting in temper tantrums, crying, or lashing

out at times of separation from parents

Separation Anxiety Disorder may require professional

support. If you suspect that one of your students has
signs of SAD, it’s important to talk to their parents and
possibly refer them to your school social worker or
psychologist for additional support
Thank you
 Link that might come in handy to you :

• https://www.teachstarter.com/us/blog/se
paration-anxiety-tips-teachers-us/
• https://www.teachstarter.com/us/blog/5-s
imple-ways-develop-routines-classroom-u
s/
• https://www.nowherebookshop.com/book
/9780316486231
• https://teachingstrategies.com/blog/teach
er-approved-separation-anxiety-tips-for-c
hildren/
• https://playtolearnpreschool.us/separatio
n-anxiety-in-the-classroom/
• https://mybrightwheel.com/blog/how-to-