COMMON COLD

-by Ogden Nash

ABOUT THE POET:
Frederic Ogden Nash (August 19,
1902 – May 19, 1971) was an American
poet well known for his light verse, of
which he wrote over 500 pieces. With
his unconventional rhyming schemes,
he was declared by The New York
Times the country's best-known
producer of humorous poetry.

Nash was best known for

surprising, pun-like rhymes,
sometimes with words deliberately
misspelled for comic effect.
 COMMON COLD
The poem begins with the speaker being extremely angry with his doctor,
saying that the illness he’s suffering from cannot be as simple as a common
cold. As the speaker describes in the second stanza, this illness has given
him an aching forehead and a fever (amongst other symptoms). He states
this illness is actually quite serious, as opposed to the doctor who believes
this “common cold” is not serious at all. In the third stanza, the speaker
asks the doctor to pay proper attention to his illness, for his illness is as
powerful as a dictator. The speaker believes that the bacteria in his
system has been created by old scientists, that this bacteria is very
powerful. In the last stanza, the speaker points out that just like Lincoln’s
assassination and Shakespeare’s talent are not taken casually, his common
cold should not be taken be taken casually either.
 Go hang yourself, you old M.D.!
You shall not sneer at me.
Pick up your hat and
stethoscope,
Go wash your mouth with laundry
soap;
I contemplate a joy exquisite
I'm not paying you for your visit.
I did not call you to be told
My malady is a common cold.
In the first stanza, the speaker begins with a
very angry speech directed towards his doctor.
He asks the doctor to hang himself and to wash
his mouth with laundry soap, because he is
extremely unhappy with the doctor’s diagnosis.
He says that he did not call the doctor to be
given such a disappointing answer. He did not call
the doctor to be told that he was simply
suffering from a common cold. This tells us that
the speaker was expecting the doctor to tell him
that he was suffering from a much more serious
illness.

By pounding brow and swollen lip;
By fever's hot and scaly grip;
By those two red redundant eyes
That weep like woeful April
skies;
By racking snuffle, snort, and
sniff;
By handkerchief after
handkerchief;
This cold you wave away as
naught
Is the damnedest cold man ever
caught!
In this stanza, the speaker gives a vivid
description of his painful symptoms. This
tells us that the speaker is extremely
uncomfortable- his eyes are red and
watering, he has a fever and his nose is
dripping. He’s having to use handkerchief
after handkerchief to curb these. The
use of multiple handkerchiefs tells us
that the speaker is truly very sick. His
doctor is dismissing this cold as if it
were nothing, but the speaker thinks
this cold is a serious, powerful problem..

Give ear, you scientific fossil!
Here is the genuine Cold Colossal;
The Cold of which researchers
dream,
The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme.
This honored system humbly holds
The Super-cold to end all colds;
The Cold Crusading for Democracy;
The Führer of the Streptococcracy.
In the third stanza, the speaker is asking his
doctor to pay proper attention to his cold, to
examine it carefully. The speaker says that the
cold is not a weak thing that can be ignored. In his
battle with the cold, the cold is actually a very
powerful opponent, therefore the power of the
cold should not be underestimated. The speaker
mentions certain examples to show how powerful
his cold is- he says the cold has the same amount
of power and determination as someone who is
fighting for democracy. He refers to the cold as
“Fuhrer”, implying that the cold has the same evil
characteristics as the German dictator, Adolf
Hitler..

Bacilli swarm within my portals
Such as were ne'er conceived by
mortals,
But bred by scientists wise and
hoary
In some Olympic laboratory;
Bacteria as large as mice,
With feet of fire and heads of
ice
Who never interrupt for slumber
Their stamping elephantine
rumba.
In the fourth stanza the speaker
provides a description of the bacteria
inside his body. He tells us this bacteria
must have been created by old scientists
in a laboratory. The speaker believes
these bacteria are as large as mice, with
feet of fire and heads of ice- which tells
us that the speaker was in extreme pain
because of this bacteria, he was having to
tolerate an extreme discomfort. The
speaker further says that the bacteria
were not taking a break, the bacteria
were torturing his body continuously.
 A common cold, gadzooks,
forsooth! In this last stanza, the tone is one
Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled of mockery- the speaker is mocking
by Booth;
the doctor’s diagnosis. He refers to
Don Juan was a budding gallant,
Lincoln’s assassination,
Shakespeare’s talent and the Artic
And Shakespeare's plays show
cold- all of these are things that
signs of talent;
must be taken seriously. If one
The Arctic winter is fairly
were to take these things casually,
coolish,
they would be considered to be
And your diagnosis is fairly
foolish. The speaker says the
foolish.
doctor was quite foolish for not
Oh what a derision history holds
taking his cold seriously.
For the man who belittled the
Cold of Colds!
 POETIC DEVICES
Alliteration: The occurrence of the same letter or
sound at the beginning of adjacent or closely
connected words.
Eg: The repetition of the "h" sound in "hang" and
"hat," as well as the "s" sound in "sneer" and "soap"
The repetition of the "s" sound in "swollen," "scaly,"
and "snuffle," as well as the "r" sound in "red,"
"redundant," and "racking,"
Metaphor: Metaphor is a common figure of speech
that makes a comparison by directly relating one
thing to another unrelated thing.
Eg: “Cold Colossal”, “Cold Supreme”- here the cold is
being compared with a person of great importance, almost
as if the cold was being compared with a king. The speaker
is referring to the cold as if he’s referring to a king.
“The Fuhrer of the Streotococcracy”- The cold is being
compared with Adolf Hitler, a dictator who was referred
to as the Fuhrer of Germany.

Satire: The use of humour, exaggeration and ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity.
The entire first stanza satirizes the traditional doctor-patient relationship through humour and
exaggerated insults, such as asking the doctor to “Wash your mouth with laundry soap”, in response to the
doctor thinking the cold was trivial.
Imagery: Language that helps to stimulate the reader’s senses. In this poem the language helps
the readers to visualize the events and descriptions in the poem.
Eg: “Go wash your mouth with laundry soap”
-this provides an image of laundry soap being used, it describes the act of washing the mouth with laundry soap
“Pounding brow and swollen lip”
-This helps the reader to visualize a person with a headache and a swollen lip .
“ Bacili swarm within my portals”
-This provides an image of the Bacili swarming like bees.

“But bread by scientists wise and hoary

In some Olympic laboratory”
-This creates an image of old scientists with white hair, working inside a laboratory.

“Bacteria as large as mice,

With feet of fire and heads of ice”
-This helps the reader form an idea of what the bacteria could look like, by picturing mice, fire and ice.

“Their stamping elephantine rumba”

-This creates a picture of people stamping and dancing in the reader’s mind. The reader might also visualize an elephant. This vision tells the
reader about the size of an elephant. This size/proportion can be used to explain the intensity of the stamping.
Personification: Personification is the attribution of human characteristics to something non
human or abstract ideas for literary and artistic effect.
Eg: ‘By fever’s hot and scaly grip;’
-Fever is being given a “grip”, an ability to to hold things that usually humans have.

‘Cold Crusading for Democracy’

-A cold going on a crusade, where going on a crusade is a human activity.

‘On what a derision history holds’

-History is seen to have an opinion. Where it is usually only human beings who have
opinions.
Simile: The comparison of one thing with another thing of a different kind, used to make a
description more vivid.
The comparison of the weeping eyes to April skies is a simile
The comparison of the bacteria with mice(as large as mice) is a simile.

Hyperbole: Exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally.

Eg: "damnedest cold man ever caught,"
-By saying this, the speaker is exaggerating the intensity of the cold he has caught.
“Oh what a derision history holds
For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds”
-The speaker is saying that history will hold a bad opinion of the doctor because of one single
diagnosis, which is an exaggerated claim.
Irony: Saying the meaning of something by using language that states the opposite, typically for
humorous or emphatic effect

EG: “And Lincoln was jostled by Booth”

-Lincoln was actually shot by Booth. This is a serious event as opposed to jostling(pushing)someone,
which is a casual event. When the speaker says what happened to Lincoln was casual, the proper response
is to say that this event was not simple, it was serious, it was murder. The reason the speaker says this
was casual, is so that the reader remembers how serious the actual event was. Therefore, the speaker
uses “jostling”, a casual event, to remind the reader of how serious the actual event was.

“Don Juan was a budding gallant”

-By budding we mean inexperienced. However, Don Juan was very charming. So the speaker
emphasizes how extremely charming Don Juan was by using irony and saying the opposite word “budding”

“Shakespeare’s plays shows signs of talent;”

-This line suggests that Shakespeare was mildly talented. Once again, the speaker is using irony to
emphasize how extremely talented Shakespeare actually was.
 MESSAGE
The speaker of this poem suffers from a cold, but to him, it feels much, much worse.
He thinks his doctor is crazy for thinking it is simply a cold as he rattles off his
symptoms, and he’s irritated to have to pay his doctor for this simple diagnosis. For the
speaker, this cold is as powerful as a ruler, the cold has the same amount of power and
impact that a ruler has. For the speaker, this cold is as dangerous as Adolf Hitler (a
German Dictator).
We continuously get the sense of how serious this cold is for the speaker, because the
speaker continues to describe the cold in great detail. He says that the bacteria inside
his body are like mice, who with their feet of fire and heads of ice are bothering the
poet. The poem continuously reminds us of how the speaker is feeling very
uncomfortable, that the speaker is suffering.
The speaker believes that his illness is serious. However, since the doctor believed his
illness was casual, the speaker feels like the doctor was foolish. The speaker believes
that the doctor will get a bad reputation for thinking that such a serious cold was a
simple thing.
The poet of this poem, Ogden Nash (1902-1971), was considered a hypochondriac
himself.
Let’s answer these questions:

1) How has the speaker referred to Adolf Hitler in this poem?

2) Mention two instances of the speaker insulting the doctor in this
poem.

3) ‘I’m not paying for your visit.’
a) Who is the speaker referring to in
this line?
b) Why was this person asked to visit?
c) From this line, what do you think
the speaker feels about this
person?
4) ‘Who never interrupt for slumber’
a) Who is being referred to here?
b) What further description does the
speaker provide for this thing?
c) Where does the speaker think this
thing was created?
5) Do you think the doctor did the right thing by belittling the
speaker’s cold? Provide reasons to justify your answer.
THANK YOU