L1:

EFFECTIVE

WRITING
Pages 101-109
& 119-125

BOOK
REVIE
W
A composition can either be a/an:
► Essay – a group of paragraphs
► Paragraph – a group of interrelated sentences

PARAGRAPH ESSAY
Organized around a topic Organized around a thesis
sentence
Contains introductory Contains introductory
sentence paragraph
Uses sentences to explain Uses paragraphs to explain
major points major points
May use a concluding Always uses a concluding
sentence paragraph

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 A PARAGPRAH IS COMPOSED OF 3 MAJOR PARTS:
► Topic Sentence – central idea of the paragraph; can be a stand or a comment, an objective
statement or a question
► Supporting Details – sentences that clarify and prove the main idea
► Closing Sentence – concludes the details that have been presented

In their book, Wilbert McKeachie and Marilla Svinicki described four types of challenging students.
The first type is composed of the attention-seeking, discussion-dominating students who want to be heard. The
second type is comprised of the inattentive students who doodle and drift off during class discussions: They
often stare into their cell phones and chat with their classmates during lecture. The third type is composed of the
unprepared students who are characterized as the ones who skip doing their assignments prior to the class. They
do not have pens or paper even when they know that they are scheduled to take their quizzes and exams. The
last type of challenging students includes the uncivil and disrespectful ones who display rude behaviors.
Knowing these types of challenging students would help teachers manage these behaviors constructively.

► Cohesive Devices – transitional devices, pronouns, or repetition of ideas used in order for all of the
sentences to be linked properly.
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UNLIKE A PARAGRAPH, AN ESSAY HAS A MORE
ELABORATE STRUCTURE!
3 GENERAL PARTS: Introduction, Body, Conclusion
I. Introduction C. Major Point 3
A. Lead or Attention-getter 1. Minor Detail 1
B. Transitional Statement 2. Minor Detail 2
C. Thesis Statement III. Conclusion
II. Body A. Reiteration of thesis statement
A. Major Point 1 B. Transitional statement/Reiteration of
1. Minor Detail 1 purpose, benefit, and recommendation
2. Minor Detail 2 C. Closing Statement
B. Major Point 2
1. Minor Detail 1
2. Minor Detail 2
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 SPECIFIC PARTS OF AN ESSAY:
Introduction

 A lead or attention-getter is the first statement in the essay which aims to hook the
readers. A composition can have an effective lead through the use of provocative rhetorical
question, statistics, startling statement, anecdote, quotation, humor, or analogy.
 This is followed by a transitional statement or the sentence which links the lead to the
thesis statement. Generally, a transitional statement provides a background on the topic. In
an argumentative essay, it includes the statement of the case and the arguments that will be
refuted.
 The last part of the introduction is the thesis statement which states the main idea or
argument of the essay.

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 SPECIFIC PARTS OF AN ESSAY:
Example of Introduction:

While walking amidst the tall grasses in Route 169, Ash was suddenly stopped by the sight of a wild
Pokemon; he opens his Pokeball case, calls out his Charizard, and gets ready for an exciting battle. This is just
one of the many scenes a gamer may encounter when playing an adventure role-playing game (RPG), a sub-
genre of video games where a player takes the role of a character which can interact in the game's fantasy world
and play out the storyline. The hook of adventure RPGs is the escape that they provide to the player-a double-
edged sword which can lead to either innocent fun or uncontrollable addiction.

► Lead
► Transitional statement
► Thesis statement
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 SPECIFIC PARTS OF AN ESSAY:
Transitional Paragraph
 In some cases, a paragraph that does not directly provide support to a thesis statement is
included in an essay. It is called a transitional paragraph. Its major function is to bridge
one paragraph to another.

Example:
The RPG genre encompasses various games, such as interactive computer programs, live-action
events, and more. The earliest games of RPG date back to the 16th century in the form of an improvisational
theater where the dialogue has to be carried out spontaneously out of stock characters and settings (Simkins,
2015). By the 19th and 20th century, board games and war games have become popular RPGs. The genre has
since evolved with the rise of technology, thus giving birth to RPGs in video games. The element of fantasy and
adventure coupled with this technology have produced widely-known games such as Pokemon, Digimon,
Golden Sun, and others, and have since attracted various gamers.

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 SPECIFIC PARTS OF AN ESSAY:
Body
 The body is the meat of the essay. It discusses the thesis statement in detail through its
paragraphs. This is where the topic is developed and where the arguments are laid out and
discussed.

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 SPECIFIC PARTS OF AN ESSAY:
Example of Body:
The ease of slipping into another persona is one of the attractive features of role playing games. A
player can acquire a different personality or point of view just by choosing a character. He could be an
alchemist in Golden Sun, a trainer in Pokemon, or a warrior in The Legend of Zelda without leaving the room.
In addition to this, the fantasy world in adventure RPGs also provide an attractive feature. Players can get lost in
a completely different world and explore it. Aside from these aspects, the most potent escape that fantasy RPGs
can possibly give to players is the potential to break out of restrictions. Any gamer can do as he pleases without
rendering huge losses or risking anything outside the game. The power accorded to RPG characters enables the
player to do anything despite physical limitations that he may have in real life. For instance, he may battle with
another player without getting tired or inducing real-life wounds to anyone.vbc ne privilege The other side of
the coin presents a grim possibility. Since this genre offers a whole new dimension for the player, it also makes
it easier to get lost in the game and deliberately escape from real world problems. Once the offer of escape is
abused, a player can choose to simply ignore the demands of real life and slip into his chosen fantasy
world.Moreover, the attractive nature of a fantasy world might be addicting. According to Mark Griffiths, a
psychologist from Nottingham Trent University, there are signs that enjoyable games and activities make the
body produce endogenous opiates such as endorphins. Moderation and responsible gaming should be
encouraged, so as to preventaddiction from happening.

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 SPECIFIC PARTS OF AN ESSAY:
Conclusion
 The concluding paragraph begins with the restatement of the thesis statement using a
different structure and wording to uphold the language style.
 This part is followed by a transitional statement that talks about the recommendations,
benefits of ideas presente or purpose of writing the essay.
 Finally, a closing statement is used to wrap up the essay, One strategy used for ending an
essay with a bang is to link it to the attention-getter in the introduction.

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 SPECIFIC PARTS OF AN ESSAY:
Example of Conclusion:

These forms of escape offered by adventure RPGs effectively encourage a player to indulge in another
world, while at the same time exposing him to the danger of addiction. It is therefore a challenge for gamers to
draw the line between fun and addiction, to stay within the boundary of the former and curb the pangs of the
latter. After all, once the credit rolls in and every Pokemon is caught, the player has to journey back to the real
world.

► Restatement of thesis statement

► Transitional statement
► Closing statement
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 PROPERTIES OF A WELL-WRITTEN TEXT
►UNITY – achieved when a composition contains one focused idea
Text without Unity
Viral videos circulating online expose the danger in
sensationalist culture: anyone's life can change in one
single post. A like in Facebook can change everything.
For example, the video of the student who verbally
abused a guard in the LRT has changed the life of the
student. Therefore, people must take note of their actions
wherever they may be, because these might be
documented and posted online. In addition to that,
everyone must be wary of the things they post, because
they never know who will share it, too.
Text with Unity
Viral videos circulating online expose the danger in
sensationalist culture: anyone's life can change in one
single post. For instance, the video of a student who
verbally abused a guard in the LRT has drastically
altered the future of the student. She was bashed by
netizens for her rude behavior, and the hashtag
#AMALAYER, taken after the way she pronounced,
"I'm a liar," trended soon afterwards. News reports
following the incident soon revealed that the girl has
received considerable flak and has even become a victim
of bullying.
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 PROPERTIES OF A WELL-WRITTEN TEXT
►Coherence & Cohesion
Coherence and cohesion are achieved when ideas are logically, clearly, and smoothly linked to one
another; without it, the reader may not be able to comprehend your composition. Although these two concepts
are interrelated, they are distinct., cohesion It can be readily seen in a text through the smooth flow of the
sentences and the connection of the ideas.

Coherence Cohesion
 occurs when ideas are connected at the conceptual or  is the connection of ideas at the sentence level.
idea level.  Cohesion can be applied using three techniques.
 can be seen through well-defended arguments and 1. through the use of pronouns to refrain from
organized points. using a specific word repeatedly.
2. through the use of transitional devices to
connect sentences with linked ideas.
3. through a repetition of keywords to tie up the
paragraphs subtly.

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 PROPERTIES OF A WELL-WRITTEN TEXT
►Coherence & Cohesion
Text without Coherence and Cohesion
Amelia Earhart was a legendary woman who made her
name in aviation by setting various records. In 1928, she
became famous as the first woman who flew across the
Atlantic Ocean, She was only a passenger, with pilot
Wilmer Stultz and co-pilot/mechanic Louis Gordon
manning the controls. In 1932, she flew on her own over the
Atlantic. She flew from Honolulu Hawaii to Oakland
California. She became the first person to fly over both the
Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. Between 1930 and 1935,
Earhart set seven women's speed and distance aviation
through different aircrafts. She disappeared in 1937 while
attempting to fly around the world. On board her plane was
her only crew member, Fred Noonan. Extensive search
efforts were not able to find a trace of both aviators.
Text with Coherence and Cohesion
Amelia Earhart was a legendary woman who made her
name in aviation by setting various records. In 1928, she
became famous as the first woman who flew the Atlantic
Ocean. However, during this trip she was only a passenger,
with pilot Wilmer Stultz and co-pilot/mechanic Louis
Gordon manning the controls. In 1932, she finally got to fly
on her own over the Atlantic. She set another record when
she flew from Honolulu Hawaii to Oakland California in
1935, thus becoming the first person to fly over both the
Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. Between 1930 and 1935,
Earhart set seven women's speed and distance aviation
through different aircrafts.
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 PROPERTIES OF A WELL-WRITTEN TEXT
►Organization
Organization is achieved when ideas are logically and accurately arranged. Knowledge of the parts of a
composition is a great help in adhering to the correct organization of ideas. The sentences within a paragraph
must also be organized logically.

Text without Organization Text with Organization

Thomas Edison was simply the one who created the first
commercially viable light bulb. It is widely believed that he
invented the light bulb. What made Edison's light bulb
successful was his use of carbonized bamboo as the
filament. This made the bulb last longer and it was cheap
enough to be available for the masses. He only improved on
previous works of inventors who also worked on the same
project.
Although it is widely believed that Thomas Edison invented
the light bulb, in reality he was simply the one who created
the first commercially viable light bulb. Along with his
team, Edison improved the previous works of inventors who
also worked on the same project. Compared to previous
versions, what made his light bulb successful was his use of
carbonized bamboo as the filament. This made the bulb last
longer and it was cheap enough to be available for the
masses.

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 PROPERTIES OF A WELL-WRITTEN TEXT
►Language Use
The way language is used is one of the clearest indicators of a well-written text. It enables the writer to
effectively communicate ideas without confusing the reader. Effective language use is achieved by observing
the following time-tested principles in writing.

1. Use clear and concise sentences. On average, a sentence is 18 words long. Note that this does not
require every sentence to be composed of exactly 18 words.

DON’T
Image is a very important factor in politics because once the
reputation of a person is smeared by accusations, the
people's perception of the person is forever tainted and it
may cause him to lose credibility and trust even when the
truth behind allegations is not yet verified.
DO
Image is a very important factor in politics. Once the
reputation of a person is smeared by accusations, the
people's perception of the person is forever tainted. The
person may lose his credibility, even when the allegations
are not yet verified.

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 PROPERTIES OF A WELL-WRITTEN TEXT
►Language Use
2. Avoid redundancies, wordiness, clichés, and high falutin language.

DON’T DO
Although offsprings are taught not to obtain free gifts from Although children are told not to take gifts from strangers,
strangers, at the present moment many still do. many still do.

3. Avoid excessive use of “there” and “it” structures. These sentences can be revised by dropping the
“there” and “it” phrase and transforming the sentences appropriately.

DON’T DO
There are many people walking on this street during Many people walk on this street during Sundays. Keeping
Sundays. It is important to keep your valuables close to your valuables close to you is important.
you.

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 PROPERTIES OF A WELL-WRITTEN TEXT
►Language Use
4. Use precise vocabulary. Be accurate and condense lengthy phrases into fewer words.

DON’T DO
Shafts that control the brake during urgent situations Emergency levers are installed in every MRT train for the
are built inside MRT trains to keep the passengers free from safety of the passengers.
harm.

5. Be consistent with your pronoun's point of view.

DON’T DO
We should accept that fate is simply an illusion; you must We should accept that fate is simply an illusion; we must
not leave our decisions to something that does not exist. not leave our decisions to something that does not exist.

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 PROPERTIES OF A WELL-WRITTEN TEXT
►Language Use
6. Avoid sexist language. This issue can be addressed by using articles (a, an, and the), using plural
pronouns, using his or her instead of his, writing through a second person point of view, or using
gender-
neutral nouns (e.g. chairperson instead of chairman). Make sure not to overuse the his or her technique
as it breaks up the flow of your composition.
DON’T DO
Every employee should submit his credentials. All employees should submit their credentials.

7. Use the appropriate level of formality. The more formal texts use an academic tone while the les formal
ones usually use a personal or colloquial tone.
DON’T DO
Yes, diskettes are like things of the past, but they’re like Diskettes may be outdated, but they are still fascinating.
still totally cool.
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MECHANICS:
The technical aspect of writing, also known as mechanics, should not be overlooked when
writing. It is one of the properties of a well-written text and is characterized as a set of conventions on how
to spell, abbreviate, punctuate, and capitalize a composition. In academic and more formal texts, the
following should be observed.

1. Always use Standard English.

2. Avoid contractions (e.g., shouldn’t).
3. Avoid exclamation marks unless they are part of a direct quotation.
4. Mention the full name of an institution or organization with the abbreviation in parenthesis, in
first mention. Thereafter, use the abbreviation.
5. Numbers from zero to ten should be spelled out while numbers higher than ten should be written
in figures.
6. Generally, citations are used in academic and formal texts. However, they are sparingly used in
business texts.

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Example:
Text without Mechanics
Pluto was demoted to a dwarf planet in 2006 after the
General Assembly of the IAU, as it only met 2 out of the
association's three requirements to qualify as a Planet
(Library of Congress). The dispute started when Caltech
astronomy prof Mike Brown discovered an Asteroid bigger
than Pluto in 2005 (Cain, 2012). The science community
went wild! Brown's findings sparked a debate on whether
this new planet, which he named eris, should be added the
roster of 9 Planets. The controversy prompted the
International Astronomical Union to meet up and delineate
what a 'planet is. They came up with three requirements to
classify a celestial body as a planet and removed the Planet
Status of Pluto based on the new definition
Text with Mechanics
Pluto was demoted to a dwarf planet in 2006 after the
general assembly of the International Astronomical Union
(IAU), as it only met two out of the association's three
requirements to qualify as a planet (Library of Congress).
The dispute started when Mike Brown, a professor of
astronomy at the California Institute of Technology
(Caltech), discovered an asteroid bigger than Pluto in 2005
(Cain, 2012). Brown's findings sparked a debate on whether
this new planet, which he named Eris, should be added to
the roster of nine planets. The controversy prompted the
IAU to meet up and delineate what a 'planet' is. They came
up with three requirements for classifying celestial bodies as
planets and removed the planet status of Pluto based on the
new definition.
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 THESIS STATEMENT
► It is the central idea of a multiple-paragraph composition.
► It is a one-sentence summary that guides, controls, and unifies ideas when writing a paper.
► In simple terms, all the other ideas present in an essay revolve around the thesis statement.

“Necessity of a college education” This is more of a title than a thesis statement.

“College education is important.” Although it is a sentence, this statement is

broad.
“Getting a college degree is important because This is an example of an accurately written
it will equip a student to become a professional thesis statement; it has one subject and at least
in his/her chosen field and it will widen his/her two arguments.
perspective of the world.”

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 THESIS STATEMENT
One strategy that you can use in writing a thesis statement is ASKING A QUESTION. After identifying
the topic, ask a question that would entail multiple details. The answer to this question is most likely your
thesis statement. See example below.

Topic: Tagaytay City

Question: (1) Is Tagaytay City an enthralling city of the South?
(2) Why is Tagaytay City considered an enthralling city of the South?
Thesis Statement: (1) Tagaytay City is an enthralling city of the South.
(2) Tagaytay City is an enthralling city of the South because of its beautiful landscape,
amazing people, and sumptuous food.

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 HOW TO WRITE AN EFFECTIVE THESIS
DON’T
STATEMENT:
1. It should be written in a complete sentence with a clearly stated subject.
DO
Computers as helpful tools in teaching and researching Computers can help a teacher effectively impart the
lesson and research information.

2. It should not be too narrow nor too broad, and it should contain at least two details. If the details
you generate are already definite examples, then your thesis statement is too specific. If you can only write
general statements because there are too many details, then it is too broad. You can also try to list ideas to check
the scope of your topic. If you cannot list at least two details, it is too narrow; if you list too many information
to be able to discuss it well, your topic is too broad.
DON’T DO
Many events in the history of the Many events in the history of the Philippines contributed to the changes
Philippines contributed to the changes in in the country. People Power I involved many Filipinos who wanted
the country. People Power I involved freedom from Martial Law. In the history of the Philippines, People
many Filipinos who wanted freedom Power I was one of the major events which changed our country,
from Martial Law. especially the culture, structure, and politics of the Philippines. People
Power I can be compared to the revolution during the Spanish period, as
it sprang from our countrymen's conscious need for freedom against
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 HOW TO WRITE AN EFFECTIVE THESIS
STATEMENT:
3. Avoid an awkward thesis statement which states the obvious. These statements usually start with
the phrase “I will tell you…” or “I will talk about…”
DON’T DO
I will tell you about how the increase in the number of An increase in the number of squatters in Metro Manila
squatters in Metro Manila can be attributed to the effects can be attributed to the effects of overpopulation and
of overpopulation and gentrification. gentrification.

4. Enumerated details should have the same level of significance. If one of the details can be
classified under another detail, you can omit it.

DON’T DO
Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) help raise the Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWS) help raise the
country's economy, add more revenues, and promote the country's economy and promote the hospitality of
hospitality of Filipinos. Filipinos.

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 HOW TO WRITE AN EFFECTIVE THESIS
STATEMENT:
5. It should not state an absolute fact, because it will not present any central idea that can be
developed further. It should have a point.
DON’T DO
Rizal Park is located in Manila. Rizal Park, which is located in Manila, is a reminder of
our nationalism and revolution.

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 TOPIC SENTENCE
► It guides, controls, and unifies ideas in a paragraph.
► It develops one argument of the thesis statement.
► A topic sentence can either be explicitly or implicitly stated.
► An explicitly stated topic sentence can be placed in four different locations at the beginning, at the
middle, at the end of a paragraph, or at the start and end of a paragraph.
► An implied topic sentence, on the other hand, is not directly seen in a paragraph. It is up to the readers
to deduce what the topic sentence is.
► The thesis statement and the topic sentence are very much related to each other.
► Basically, the topic sentence develops the details in the thesis statement; if the thesis statement
contains three details, then the paper will have three topic sentences. Please see example in the next
slide.

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 TOPIC SENTENCE
EXAMPLES:
Topic: Jogging
Question: Why is jogging beneficial?
Thesis Statement: Jogging is beneficial because it positively affects physical wellbeing and mental fitness.
Topic Sentence 1: Jogging positively impacts one's physical wellness by preventing hypertension and other
diseases.
Topic Sentence 2: Another benefit of jogging is that it maintains mental fitness

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 Tips in writing an effective TOPIC SENTENCE:
1. It should follow the basics already discussed in the thesis statement.
a. It must be written in a complete sentence and with a clear subject.
b. It should not be phrased awkwardly and it should not state the obvious. An awkward topic
sentence is characterized by sentences that start with "I will tell you....“
2. It should contain one detail which is related to one of the details in the thesis statement.
Sample thesis statement: Rizal Park, which is located in Manila, is a reminder of our nationalism and revolution.
DON’T DO
Rizal Park features a statue of Jose Rizal and is also Rizal Park, which features a statue of Jose Rizal, stands as
known as Luneta Park. a reminder of the Filipinos who sparked the revolution
and launched our fight for freedom.

3. It should vary in structure across paragraphs. If the topic sentences are uniform throughout your
essay, they might seem monotonous to read. Varying the structure will also enable you to stress
important parts.
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 Tips in writing an effective TOPIC SENTENCE:
4. If the composition is just one paragraph, the topic sentence should be straightforward
DON’T DO
Many times, in many places, and across cultures, language Language should not be seen as a dividing force, but as a
is used as a dividing force and point of difference when in tool to promote unity in diversity across cultures.
fact it is a major factor that can promote unity in diversity

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 SUPPORTING DETAILS
► Supporting details are pieces of information necessary to better understand the main idea.
► They can be facts, reasons, testimonies, statistics, and experiments that support the topic sentence.
► Supporting details are divided into two levels: major details and minor details.
► Major details directly support the topic sentence whereas minor details directly support the major
details.

Example:
Tagaytay is an enthralling city of the South because of its stunning landscape, hospitable people, and delicious
foods. The city has a magnificent scenery that never fails to capture the awe of its visitors. One major tourist
spot that exudes the beauty of Tagaytay is Taal Volcano, the smallest volcano in the world. The lake which
surrounds it is another attraction that cannot be missed. The city is also characterized by the warmth of its
people, the Caviteños. They bring with them their smiles as they welcome both local and foreign visitors. Aside
from these, Tagaytay is also known for its sumptuous native foods. Tourists who drop by the city make it a point
to try Tagaytay's famous bulalo and other delicacies.

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ACTIVITY 2
► Directions: Analyze the topic and question below. Then, construct your own thesis statement,
topic sentence 1, 2, and 3. (5 pts. each)
3 pts. – The statement/sentence is relevant to the topic and question.
2 pts. – The statement/sentence is somewhat relevant to the topic and question.
1 pt. – The statement/sentence is irrelevant to the topic and question.
•2 pts. – There is/are no error/s in grammar and mechanics.
1 pt. –There is/are error/s in grammar and mechanics.

Topic: Bohol
Question: Why is Bohol designated as the first UNESCO Global Geopark of the Philippines?
Thesis Statement: ___________________________________________________________________
.
Topic Sentence 1: ___________________________________________________________________
Topic Sentence 2: ___________________________________________________________________
Topic Sentence 3: ________________________________________________________

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ACTIVITY 1
► Directions: Construct a paragraph with the complete major parts – topic sentence, supporting
sentence, and closing sentence. Be guided by the given rubric.

► Parts of the Paragraph – 15

► Content – 10
► Grammar and Mechanics – 5

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