Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences

Communication & Intimacy

Dr. Neelam Pandey

 Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences

Good Communication

 Key to intimacy and family interaction

 Way humans create and share meaning

 The process of transmitting

• feelings
• attitudes
• beliefs
• ideas
Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences
 Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences

Verbal and nonverbal – consistency is key

strongly associated with good marital adjustment

Direct actions form of communication

Body language is another form of nonverbal Communication

Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences
Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences
Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences
Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences
 Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences

Critique on Tannen’s Work

• Major criticism is Tannen’s work polarizes gender differences

• Other researchers argue similarities between men and women

greater than differences
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Cultural Differences in Communication

• Cultural variations in use of verbal and nonverbal communication

Variation found in:

• Gestures
• Greetings
• Eye contact
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Basic Communication Principles

• You cannot not communicate

• Message sent is often not the message received

• Communication failures rest with both people

• Each message conveys content and relationship information

• Incongruency between verbal and nonverbal communication is problematic

• Metacommunication unbinds the double bind

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Communication Processes
 • Open communication
• Ability to share feelings and ideas with others

 • Positive communication
• Communication that lacks conflict & difficulties

 Messages involve
• Content
• Process

 Messages involve
• Verbal components
• Nonverbal components
Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences
 Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences

Nonverbal Communication
 Nonverbals can:
• Complement or contradict verbal component

• Repeat or emphasize verbal

• Serve to regulate conversation • Ability to interpret

nonverbal communication important in successful relationships

 Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences

Communication Messages
 Mixed Messages
• Discrepancy between the verbal and nonverbal components

Double Bind
• Verbal and nonverbal messages result in questioning relationship or
conflict

Metacommunication
• Communicating about communication
 Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences

Barriers to Communication
Physical and environmental:
• closer physical distance is associated with more intimate
relationships and self disclosure
• physical confinement can also lead to conflict and tension

Situational

Psychological

Gender
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Using Communication Skills To Maintain Intima

cy
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Self Disclosure
 Disclosure of personal information or feelings to another \

 Key to development of intimacy

 Involves:
• Awareness of information
• Predisposition to disclose

 • Disclosure varies among relationships

Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences
 Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences

Listening

 Listeners influence the telling of the “story”

Listener’s motives or goals

• Persuasion:- Looking for opening to jump in and control

• Directing:- Attempt to channel the conversation

• Discovery:- Attentive listening to learn

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Responsive Styles in Interpersonal Communication

 Assertive:- Expression of one’s thoughts, feelings, and desires as a

right

 Passive:- Unwillingness to say what one thinks, feels, or wants

 Aggressive:- Aims to hurt or put down the other person

 Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences

Person A Person B Relationship Who Wins Level Of Intimacy

Passive Passive Devitalized Boring Both Lose Low

Passive Aggressive Dominated I win You Lose Low

Aggressive Aggressive Conflicted Both Lose Low

Assertive Assertive Vital/Growing Both Wins High

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Key Concepts in Understanding Communication Cycles

• Assertiveness: persons ability to express his or her feelings and desires

• Self-confidence: a person’s feelings about self and ability to control
things in life
• Avoidance: person’s tendency to minimize issues and a reluctance to
deal directly with issues
• Partner dominance: degree to which partner is felt to be controlling and
dominant
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Communication Cycles

Positive Communication Cycle:

• Assertiveness
• Self confidence

 Negative Communication Cycle:

• Avoidance
• Partner dominance
Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences
Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences
 Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences

Improving Communication: Four Requirements

 Positive feeling between partners and motivation to develop

understanding
 Willingness to disclose attitudes, feelings, and ideas
 An ability to reveal attitudes, feelings, and ideas clearly and
accurately
 Reciprocity
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Improving Communication: I-Statement

Describe personal thoughts, feelings, or experiences in first person

singular

Advantages:
• not threatening
• promote openness
• focus on problems rather than personalities