Let’s discuss

questions
 Q A
B- Effect of your empathy on the client versus effect of your
sympathy on the client.

1) Explain the difference

A- Define empathy and sympathy. between empathy and
sympathy by answering the
following questions:

C. 1) Empathy: “Mary_________________________________.”
2) Sympathy: “Mary,_______________________________.”
 Q A
A- Define empathy and sympathy.

Empathy: Being able to know how it feels like to stand in other’s

shoes, reflecting what they could be feeling back to them and • Explain the difference
letting them know that they are being heard. between empathy and
sympathy by answering the
following questions:
Sympathy: Becoming emotional listening to others’ stories,
feeling pity for them and crying along with them.
B- Effect of your empathy on the client versus effect of your sympathy on
the client.

Empathy: Client feels heard and once their emotions have lightened,
they find themselves capable to think of solutions to cope with their
problem.

Sympathy: The client feels the emotion even more strongly and feels
even less capable of thinking of solutions to cope with their problem
since their mind is not able to think clearly, or the client feels that
he has come to a counselor who has been affected by my story
herself/himself and thus may not be able to help me out of this.
 C. 1) Empathy: “Mary_________________________________.”
2) Sympathy: “Mary,_______________________________.”

1) Empathy: “Mary_______________ 2) Sympathy: “Mary_______________

• Mary, I think you are feeling sad and • Mary, I am feeling sad for you and
disappointed at your husband for not disappointed at your husband for not
giving you enough quality time, are giving you enough quality time.
you?
• Mary, you seem to find it difficult to
• Mary, how dare your husband do that!
accept that your husband is not giving
you enough quality time, are you?
• Mary, you believe your husband should
• Mary, it is very wrong on your husband’s
give you more quality time and when
side to not give you enough quality time
he doesn’t it makes you feel upset.
 Thoughts: They are ideas, attitudes or perception
about things.

Feelings: They include states of being happy, sad,

mad, frustrated, surprised, anxious, etc. It can be

Q A
experienced in varying degrees of intensity and
usually have a physical sensation attached. For
instance, people will describe anxiety as having
butterflies in their stomach. If someone is angry they
may feel tightness in their chest. Feelings are
something we all experience and it is important that 2) Explain the cycle in your
they be expressed. And, there is no such thing as a
own words. Also give 2
“bad” feeling. Feelings are needed because they
serve a purpose. examples.

Behaviour: It is simply the actions we take. We choose how

we are going to behave. Behaviour can be classified as right
or wrong, healthy or unhealthy, appropriate or
inappropriate.
 The Connection

Ex:1
• Same experience can lead to cause different feelings.
• If I like being outside near water and enjoy swimming, the thought of going
to a pool will make me feel happy.
different feeling = different behaviors
• Thoughts and feeling- lead me to plan activity that include swimming.
•• So, No one
Similarly if is
theright or wrong
thought here,near water scares my friend, she will avoid
of being
swimming and avoid making plan of it.
• We simply have different thoughts about what fun is (or
not)!
 If you find you keep making the same
decision over and over again, take some
time to ask yourself what are you feeling.

Identify the emotion. If you are angry,

slow down and pay attention to what you
are saying to yourself.
ASK YOURSELF

1) What is your self-talk?

2) What are you thinking about the people in that situation?

3) What are your beliefs?

4) What are your values?

 Once you recognize your thoughts, you can determine if those thoughts are
realistic or not. Probably your thought is either exaggerated or clouded by past
experiences.
 Try changing your thought to be more objective, more evident. There are
Chances that when you change your thoughts, even a little, it will impact on
your emotion. That impact may simply reduce the intensity of the emotion but
for some people this may be sufficient enough to change the choices they make.

• It's been said that “To be insane is to keep doing the same thing and expect
different results”.
• This will only lead to frustration and unhappiness.
• Make it a challenge to pay closer attention to the stories you tell yourself.
You might discover that actually you have the power to change your
behaviour simply by adjusting what you think.
Q A 3) What information do you need before you
can actually set a goal for the client?
 4) What are the unethical behaviours you should avoid
in your sessions?

Q A
Creating
dependency on
a client (not
making
boundaries)
Imposing one’s
Violation of
values on a
confidentiality
client

Long and
repetitive
leaves

Limitation of
one’s role
Q
A 5) Categorise thoughts and feelings:

Sometimes it can be hard to tell what we’re thinking and what we’re feeling.
We often fool ourselves into believing that we feel something (and therefore it is difficult to
change) when in an actual it is a thought.

For each say it is thought or feeling : Thought Feelings

1. I feel that something awful will happen.
2. I feel scared.
3. I feel like nothing ever goes right.
4. I feel so guilty.
5. I feel as though I’m falling apart.
6. I feel very angry.
7. I feel as if my life will never get better.
Q
A 5) Categorise thoughts and feelings:

For each say it is thought or feeling : Thought Feelings

8. I feel Lonely.
9. I feel panicky.
10. I feel so useless.
11. I feel like I’m a burden.
12. I feel ashamed.
13. I feel like I’m being torn apart.
14. I feel heavy.
15. I feel down.
 6) What is Active listening and what is not Active
Q A listening?

1. Active listening is being able to understand from client’s POV:

You feel _________ because you can not ________

and you want to

2. What Active listening is not :

Interrogating One-upping Advising

Explaining Fixing it Empathizing

Shutting
Consoling Educating
Correcting Sympathizing
down Storytelling
 Q
A 7) With respect to the given case please answer:

A 50-year-old woman feels excessive anger

towards her husband. During the initial stages
of marriage, the woman said that husband
was extremely dominating and didn’t listen to
• What could be the possible feeling of
her most of the times. Recently, her children
1. the client? also got settled and she is now staying alone
with her husband and feeling extreme anger
• What thoughts could be triggering this towards him in day to day interactions.
2 feeling?

• What needs of the client are not met?

3.

• What possible goals could help the client

4. or what skills could help the client cope
with the situation better?
 Q
• What could be the possible feeling of the client?
• Anxiety due to anticipation of husband’s domination expressed in form of anger,
A
1. resentment and loneliness as support system children’s presence has gone away.

The Three Basic Psychological Needs

• What thoughts could be triggering this feeling?
2 • I am all alone and now I alone have to cope up with my husband’s domination.

• What needs of the client are not met?

3. • Need of relatedness and autonomy.

• What possible goals could help the client or what skills could help the client cope
with the situation better?
• Proactively coping up with husband’s domination and her loneliness to reduce anxiety.
4. • Skills: Releasing the past and trying to stay more in present and replacing aggression
with assertiveness.