FAMILY INSTITUTIONS IN

ISLAM
Marriage in Islam
 There is no celibacy in Islam. Islam
encourages marriage.
 Islam has a comprehensive and practical rules

for marriage
 Marriage is important for it is the beginning

of family institution which plays a vital role in

the establishment of social institutions in
Islam
 The rules also suit and support related

principles of institution i.e. economical, social

 Islam does not recognize other types of
conjugal relationship other than marriage.
 Rejected relationship

◦ Union between two persons of the same sex

◦ Agreement between a number f men and a number
of women to live together
◦ A liaison between marriageable couple without duly
witnessed contract
◦ Cohabitation contract, open marriage, swinging
couples, swapping
 ISLAMIC FAMILY INSTITUTION:
THE CONCEPT OF MARRIAGE IN ISLAM

• Marriage means an official bond between man and

woman.
•“A solemn contractual agreement between an eligible

male and female, concluded in the presence of

witnesses, whereby they become acknowledged as
husband and wife”

•A legal commitment sanctioned by God and

acknowledged by society

•
 Marriage is the only legitimate way to indulge in
intimacy between a man and a woman.
 Marriage is mithaq (a solemn
covenant/agreement)
 Marriage is both sacred and social contract
- It is sacred as it is a mithaq (covenant) made
between a man and woman in the name of Allah
and witnessed by friends and relatives
- It is a social contract as it is undertaken with the
mutual agreement of both parties well-knowing
the terms and conditions of the relationship.
• The Prophet’s saying:
 “Marriage is my way (sunnah), whosoever
loves my conduct should follow my way, and
whosoever strays from my way is not of me”.
 “When Muslims marry, they have perfected
half of their religion, and they should practice
righteousness to secure the other half”.
• The Qur’an mentions about the joys of marriage;
 -Refer to 2: 187
 “They are a garment for you, and you are as a
garment for them”.
‫ َو ِم ْن آَياِتِه َأْن َخ َلَق َلُك م ِّم ْن َأنُفِس ُك ْم َأْز َو اًج ا ِّلَتْس ُك ُنوا ِإَلْيَها َو َجَعَل‬
‫َبْيَنُك م َّم َو َّد ًة َو َر ْح َم ًةِإَّن ِفي َذ ِلَك آَل َياٍت ِّلَقْو ٍم َيَتَفَّك ُرون‬

30:21
 “And among His signs is that He
created for you mates from among
yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility
with them, and He has put love and mercy
between your hearts”
 The objective of marriage in Islam is to enable
us to fulfill our duties as khalifah of Allah
 Marriage is about venturing into a set of

responsibilities
 At the same time it is about self fulfillment in

which the husband and wife live in peace and

tranquility.
 In order to have peace, certain prerequisites

should be fulfilled, such as, justice, fairness,

equity and fulfillment of mutual rights.
 Mercy and love in marriage life.
OBJECTIVES AND FUNCTIONS OF MARRIAGE IN
ISLAM
 Securing a comfortable atmosphere for a

husband and wife

 Preservation and continuation of the human

race
 Protection of morals
 Psycho-emotional stability, love and kindness
 Socialization and value-orientation
 Widening the family horizons and producing

social cohesion in society

 Motivation for effort and sacrifice
 Fulfilling the nature of human being
Polygamy
 Allowed in Islam for a man to marry more
than one wife, but not for woman to be wife
to more than one husband at one time.
 Is it contradict to the concept of justice?
 How about misyar marriage?

 And mut’ah marriage?

 Marriage implies exclusive right of each mate of
the couple with well-defined prerequisites,
which include a vow made by the marrying
couple in front of lawful witnesses
 Husband-wife relationship has been identified
as the most complex role situation in which sex
differences may have to be reflected because:
◦ Being the most intimate and most personal type of
relationship
◦ Very closely tied up with the emotional life of the
persons involved
◦ has a profound bearing upon the raising of the next
generation
◦ It is nurturing the young and makes them prepared to
face challenges of an open aggressive world
 The domestic roles as recommended in Islam
may be defined as “a flexible pattern of
reciprocal and complementary attitudes to be
assumed by the couple, in which leadership
of the domestic team is vested in the
husband.” –Muhammad Abd Rauf, Islamic View of Women
and the Family
 From another angle, discussion of marriage
in Islam spells out about rights of women
because it is this relationship through which
the female makes her noble and fundamental
contribution to humanity. Therefore, instead
of understanding the position of women is
restricted, it is actually about honouring them
in marriage.
 Three main areas
◦ Pre-marriage
◦ During marriage
◦ After dissolution of marriage

◦ The spirit of Islam as the way of life should be

appreciated at all times. It is not only meant to be for
classical or traditional period. However, it is open to
adjustments here and there based on personal choice,
suitable to one’s situational considerations. In fact,
other than outlining main responsibilities, Islam always
open rooms for human’s preference especially in
accordance to one’s capability.
 Pre-marriage procedures
◦ Prohibited marriages
◦ Criteria of selection
◦ Kafa’ah
◦ Importance of Wali
◦ Mahr –capability of man
Prohibited marriages

◦ Closest relations
“Forbidden to you for marriage are (the following
women): your mothers, your daughters, your sisters,
your paternal and maternal aunts, the daughters of
your brothers amd sisters, your foster mothers who
have breast fed you, your foster sisters (breast fed
mother), the mothers of your wives, your step
daughters who are in your charge, born to the wives
with whom you have lain, but it is not offence for you
if you have not consummated your marriage with
their mothers. The wives of your begotten sons, and
to take in marriage two sisters at one and the same
time unless this had happended in the past.” (4: 23)
 “Henceforth, you shall not marry the women
who were previously married to your fathers
except what has already happened in the
past.
 Other reasons?
◦ Non kitabiyyah for wife and nonMuslim for husband
◦ Wife of other man (including in ‘iddah)
◦ More than four wives
◦ Divorcee with thrice divorces (to her husband)
Choice of spouse, whose right?
 Islam acknowledges the rights of both parties in
the selection of spouse.
 In fact, Islam has treated women more in this
selection.
 This is not only to highlight their role in
determining their own marriage, but as if Islam
has brought forward situations in marriage by
giving women special rights in the selection of
spouse.
 On top of that, Islam has placed the role of wali for
daughters for the main purpose of protection her
rights in marriage.
CHOICE OF SPOUSE: A General guide
 Abu Hurairah (ra) reported that the Prophet (p.b.u.h)

said, “ A woman is sought in marriage for four reasons;

wealth, social status, beauty, and al-din. So seek the
with al-din, may you then be successful”. In another
mentioning “Pick the one who is morally motivated and
hold fast to her.”
 Other recommendations
 From hadith: better to have virgin
 A child-bearing woman lacking in beauty is better than

a beautiful but infertile one

 A desirous woman with wide bright eyes, flowing

beauiful hair, a smooth bright skin, who is of good

conduct and who loves her husband and is devoted to
him, is indeed one of the maidens of Paradise- al-
Ghazali
Selection of spouse: for women
 Capable
 The ability of a husband- to- be in providing

Mahr and nafaqah to his wife is one of the

prerequisites before marriage.
‫ «يا معشر الشباب من استطاع منكم‬:‫ قال لنا النبي صلى هللا عليه وسلم‬
Sahih»‫ ومن لم يستطع فعليه بالصوم فإنه له وجاء‬،‫الباءة فليتزوج‬
Bukhari 7/3
 Kafa’ah
It is women’s right in Islam to choose a
husband from among those who are
compatible with her.
in religion, social status, wealth and even
education level
Prophet (p.b.u.h.) said: “La tankihu illa al-
akiffa’”
 The criteria of religiosity of the future
husband needs to be understood in a
comprehensive way. It is not only about ‘on
paper’ certificate, but also willingness to take
responsibilities and maturity in dealing with
problems.
Engagement
 What is the ruling?
 What is the wisdom behind it?
 Some consequences
PILLARS OF MARRIAGE
 Both parties should be free of any obstacles that might prevent

the marriage from being valid.

 There should an offer or proposal (ijab)

 There should be an expression of acceptance (qabul)

CONDITIONS OF MARRIAGE
 Both the bride and groom should be clearly identified

 Consent of both parties

-The Prophet (p.b.u.h) said, “No previously married woman

(widow or divorcee may be married until she has been asked
about her wishes (she should state clearly her wishes), and no
virgin should be married until her permission has been asked
(until she agreed either in words or by remaining silent). They
asked , “O messenger, how is her permission given? (because she
will feel very shy) He said, “By her silence”.
 Witnesses

 The marriage should be announced/publicized

 The wali’s presence or approval

The aim of having wali is to protect a woman, and not to belittle a
woman’s rights
This does not deny the freedom of a woman
The consent and wishes of the marrying woman is of primary
importance.
Only in the case of first time marriage, concurrence of her guardian
is expected. A mutual decision is better since an innocent
inexperienced girl needs guide.
On top of that, consent of the bride is required before the
solemnization of marriage.
 Husband's
rights

Wife's
rights

Mawaddah and
rahmah
 Qawwam

protection
(spiritual, material,
emotional)
REQUIREMENT OF MARRIAGE
 The mahar (dowry)

- It is a mandatory marriage gift given by

the husband to his wife at wedding
“And give women, their bride prices or bride
gifts as free gift, but if they themselves be
please to give up to you a portion of it, then
eat it with enjoyment” (4: 4)

- It is the sole right of the wife

 What is the amount?
 The amount of mahr is decided by a future husband to
honour his future wife. Needs to consider her status, her
individual status as well as social status. A meaningful
gift.
 Man is reminded even not to look down over a woman’s
status e.g. orphan
 {‫[ }وإن خفتم أال تقسطوا في اليتامى‬3 :‫]النساء‬،

 Practices in the previous traditions:

 Mahr of prophet Musa to his wife: “He said: "I intend to
wed one of these my daughters to thee, on condition that
thou serve me for eight years; but if thou complete ten
years, it will be (grace) from thee. But I intend not to
place thee under a difficulty: thou wilt find me, indeed, if
Allah wills, one of the righteous.“
‫‪‬‬ ‫َوِإْن َأَر ْد ُتُم اْس ِتْبَد اَل َز ْو ٍج َم َك اَن َز ْو ٍج َو آَتْيُتْم ِإْح َد اُهَّن ِقْنَطاًر ا َفاَل َتْأُخ ُذ وا ِم ْنُه‬
‫َش ْيًئا َأَتْأُخ ُذ وَنُه ُبْه َتاًنا َو ِإْثًم ا ُمِبيًنا (‪َ )20‬و َك ْيَف َتْأُخ ُذ وَنُه َو َقْد َأْفَض ى َبْعُض ُك ْم‬
‫ِإَلى َبْع ٍض َو َأَخ ْذ َن ِم ْنُك ْم ِم يَثاًقا َغ ِليًظا (‪)21‬‬
‫‪ “And if you wish to have one wife in place of‬‬

‫‪another and if you have given one of them a‬‬

‫‪heap of gold (as bride gift or price) take not‬‬
‫”‪anything from her.‬‬
 The mahr of wives and daughters of prophet is
reported to be 500 dirham.
 Umar gave to Ummu Kalthum, the daughter of Ali and
Fatimah 40 000 dirham (al-Bayhaqi 5/101)
 Ali gave Fatimah his armor (Nailul Authar 6/589)
 Marriage of a companion without mentioning amount
of mahr, he was among the companions who witness
Hudaibiah and he had his portion in Khaibar war.
Before his death he declared: I want to declare that I
give her my portion in Khaibar. The wife took it and
sold it with the price of hundred thousand (Qurtubi
101/5) v 7/46 5273)
 Marriage of Thabit bin Qais was an estate of dates. But
later on the wife asked for a divorce (khulu’) and the
Prophet asked her to return it to Thabit. (al-Bukhari)
 A situation where Umar was advised by a woman when he
wanted to limit the maximum amount of mahr with the
reason that a woman will be respected in her life and being
pious to Allah. A woman raised up and said: “O Umar! Are
you going to prohibit from us something that has been
given by Allah! Isn’t it that Allah said: verse qintara . Then,
Umar responded: the woman is true and Umar is wrong.

 The place of hadith:

 “The most blessed woman is the one with the easiest mahr”

 The place al-Qur’an as mahr

During marriage

 “Men are the protectors and maintainers of

women, because Allah has given the one more
(strength) than the other, and because they
support them from their means. Therefore the
righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard
in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have
them guard. As to those women on whose part ye
fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them
(first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last)
beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience,
seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For
Allah is Most High, great (above you all).”
 ◦ Rights in marriage should be understood in the spirit of reciprocity
and equity
◦ Rights of husband
 Loyalty
 Hadith: “If I were to require a person to bow to a mortal, I would have
urged the wife to bow to her husband”
◦ Rights of wife
 Nafaqah
 Let the man of means spend according to his means: and the man
whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah
has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has
given him. After a difficulty, Allah will soon grant relief.

 “O Rasulullah, what are our wives’ rights on us? Rasulullah said: Give them food
to eat as you eat, and clothe them as you cothe” Narrated by Abu Dawud and al-
Nasa’i

Mutual rights
 Mutual Respect
Respect towards women or wives has been given special stress
“And live with them (women) honorably.” (4: 19)
“Live with them honorably, or part with them honorably” (2: 231)
 DOMESTIC RELATIONS: MARITAL ROLES

MAIN DUTIES OF THE HUSBAND

a) The practice of shura
 Islam requires families to practice the democratic
management style of shura (mutual consultation)
 The practice of shura has two important advantages:

i) It makes use of many heads to solve a problem or make

a decision
ii) It discourages selfishness and egoism
b) Financial support
 The husband must look after his wife and children in
every way.
 To provide material needs such as shelter, food, clothing
and basic needs.
 To ensure that the wife is given the opportunity to gain
education.
c) Kind treatment and compassion
 The husband should treat his wife kindly, honorably, and

with patience and justice.

 He should understand that women is fragile in nature.

 He should overlook some of the wife’s weaknesses and

mistakes.
 He should recognize the wife’s duties at home.

d) Protection
 The husband should provide protection for his wife, so

that, the wife should feel secure under his protection.

 Protection covers both physical as well as emotional

protection.
d) Guidance or discipline
 Few steps in disciplining the wife;

-Admonishment
-Abandonment
-Beating
-divorce
MAIN DUTIES OF THE WIFE
1) Obedience to the husband
2) To look after the security of the house whenever the
husband is away
3) The wife is not permitted to avoid having children for
the sake of enjoying life.
DIVORCE
 Divorce is the last resort in marriage
 Islam allows people to marry more than one in extreme necessity,
so that he does not resort to divorcing the first wife to get the line
clear.
◦ Warned by the Prophet: “Among all permissible things,
divorce is the most hatred act to God”
◦ Also “Divorce causes the Throne of God to shake”
◦ “A wife who asks for divorce without legitimate reasons will
never taste the smell of Paradise.”
 Reasons that divorce is allowed
◦ Islam loathes divorce seriously. But to protect one’s life from
a living hell, the door of divorce is also left open in extreme
necessities.
◦ One is not allowed to sacrifice his/her religion and Allah for
the sake of one’s wife/husband.
 ◦ Types of dissolution of marriage
 Talaq- two times
 Khulu’
 Fasakh
 Li’an
◦ Does divorce a sole right of a husband?

.
 Iddah in Islam
◦ Iddah means the waiting period that a woman
should wait to ensure that her womb is free from
the previous husband’s seed. This is extremely
important in maintaining lineage.
◦ Also gives room for both of them to rethink the
decision and improve things.
◦ Rights after dissolution/divorce
 Hadhanah
 Nafaqah
 O Prophet! When ye do divorce women, divorce them at their prescribed periods,
and count (accurately), their prescribed periods: And fear Allah your Lord: and turn
them not out of their houses, nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they
are guilty of some open lewdness, those are limits set by Allah. and any who
transgresses the limits of Allah, does verily wrong his (own) soul: thou knowest not
if perchance Allah will bring about thereafter some new situation.
 Thus when they fulfill their term appointed, either take them back on equitable
terms or part with them on equitable terms; and take for witness two persons from
among you, endued with justice, and establish the evidence (as) before Allah. Such
is the admonition given to him who believes in Allah and the Last Day. And for
those who fear Allah, He (ever) prepares a way out,

Let the women live (in 'iddat) in the same style as ye live, according to your means:
Annoy them not, so as to restrict them. And if they carry (life in their wombs), then
spend (your substance) on them until they deliver their burden: and if they suckle
your (offspring), give them their recompense: and take mutual counsel together,
according to what is just and reasonable. And if ye find yourselves in difficulties, let
another woman suckle (the child) on the (father's) behalf.
Those of you who die and leave widows should bequeath for their widows a year's
maintenance and residence; but if they leave (The residence), there is no blame on
you for what they do with themselves, provided it is reasonable. And Allah is
Exalted in Power, Wise.
 Mut’ah
” ‫“ومتعوهن على الموسع قدره وعلى المقتر قدره متاعا بالمعروف حقا على المحسنين‬
Al-baqarah: 236

Rights in the case of death

inheritance
wasiyyah
hibah
Some issues
 Illegal child
 Adopted child
Shari‘ah Enactment in Malaysia-
comparison
 Pre-marriage procedure
◦ Minimum age for marriage
◦ Betrothal and effect of breach of betrothal
◦ Requirement to get permission from the registrar or
the Shariah Judge or by proper authority of the
state as the case may be
◦ Venue
◦ Registration of marriage
 Rights after dissolution of marriage
◦ Custody (hadanah)
◦ Nafaqah
◦ Mut’ah
◦ ‘Harta sepencarian’