NEGOTIATIN

G THE
IMPOSSIBLE
By: Valérie Bergeron, Valeria Morales, Daniel
Pérez, Ivan Varela
NEGOTIATING THE
IMPOSSIBLE
HOW TO BREAK DEADLOCKS AND
R E S O LV E U G LY C O N F L I C T S
(WITHOUT MONEY OR MUSCLE)
Activity

Ivan Varela – The Power of

Framing

Valeria Morales – The Logic of

Appropriateness AGEND
Daniel Pérez – The Power of
Process
A
Valérie Bergeron – The Power of
Empathy
 OBJECTIVES
● Understand the commonality of our techniques

ACTIV ● Experience them

ITY INSTRUCTIONS
● Get into two groups and pick a subject to discuss
● Decide if you are pro/con and find arguments
• 5 minutes
● Elect a spokesperson to explain your position
• 1 minute to present
● The rest of the class will ask critical questions on
the opposite view
• 3 minutes
● Then, the spokesperson will present the other side
• 1 minute
 THE
POWER OF
FRAMING
 ● What are the effects of your
decision?
● Show your limitations!
● Don’t be afraid of reframing!

THE FRAME AS A
“PSYCHOLOGICA
L LENS”
 Optics of the deal

FRAME
THE Substance over
“looks”
DEAL
Consideration for
your audience
 Optics of the deal

FRAME
THE Substance over
“looks”
DEAL
Consideration for
your audience
 Optics of the deal

FRAME
THE Substance over
“looks”
DEAL
Consideration for
your audience
01 02 03
Understand the Help them Build trust
other side’s accept
needs

TWO-SIDED
NEGOTIATION
01 02 03
Understand the Help them Build trust
other side’s accept
needs

TWO-SIDED
NEGOTIATION
01 02 03
Understand the Help them Build trust
other side’s accept
needs

TWO-SIDED
NEGOTIATION
 DON’T
Hard to NEGOT
IATE
Don’t reach an
assume agreement

ABOUT
Link another
negotiation ONE
ISSUE
REACH AN AGREEMENT

Understand
Show some
opponent’s
wins
interest
REACH AN AGREEMENT

Understand
Show some
opponent’s
wins
interest
 ● Outline:
● Leverage Social Proof
● Set the default option
● Set the reference point
● Don't apologize for
your offer

THE LOGIC OF
APPROPRIATENESS
QUESTI
● How do you make your case when the other side is
emotionally attached to an alternative course of
action?

ONS ●
●
How do people make decisions?
How do they decide whether to say “Yes” or “No”?
HOW DO PEOPLE MAKE A
DECISION?

Cost Benefit
Analysis
HOW DO PEOPLE MAKE A
DECISION?

Cost Benefit Logic of

Analysis Appropriateness
HOW
CHOICES Leverage social proof

CAN BE
FRAMED Set the default option

TO MAKE
THEM Set the reference point
MORE
Don't apologize for your
COMPELL offer
ING?
LEVERAGE
SOCIAL PROOF
● People look to the behavior of
others
● “There must be a reason”
● Demonstrate others are also
choosing it
SET THE DEFAULT
OPTION
● “It must be default for a reason”
● Shifting away from the default is
psychologically taxing
● Option attractiveness is enhanced
when it becomes the default
● Shift your draft of the agreement or
process
SHIFT THE
REFERENCE
POINT
● Wise to set a reference point
● People who are evaluating an
offer always have a reference
point
● Generous proposals can be
evaluated negatively
● What is being offered within an
appropriate context
DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR
YOUR OFFER
● Always justify your offer, but don't
apologize for it
● You give the other side the license
to start haggling
● Shift the frame to a discussion of
value
 Outline:
● Build a strategy
● Preparation
● Commitment

THE POWER OF
PROCESS
BUILD A
STRATEGY
● Analyze the topics
beforehand
● What is it you wish to
accomplish?
● When do you wish to
accomplish the points
argued?
● How do you expect all
parties to see them
through?
PREPARATION
● Conduct thorough research
● Anticipate arguments and reservations
of other parties
● Understand the weaknesses within
your own argument
● Construct solid counter arguments
● Time
● Overcome disputes
● Don’t sell yourself short
● Why are you negotiating
● What are you negotiating

COMMITMENT
 Outline:
● Position of Power
● Process before Substance
● How to Deal with Foreign
Processes
● Clarification

LEVERAGING
THE POWER OF
PROCESS
POSITION OF POWER
● Play to your strengths
● Read the Cards
● No money? No muscle? Persistence
PROCES
S ● Establish a process and its implementation

BEFORE ●
●
The process must be flexible
Acknowledge the outcomes of a failure to negotiate

SUBSTA process correctly

NCE
HOW TO DEAL WITH FOREIGN
PROCESSES
● Not always a negative indicator
● Seek clarity and commitment
● Clarity (an understanding of the process)
● Commitment (Assurances that the process will be
followed)
CLARIFICA
TION
● Do not be discouraged by a
participant’s refusal to clarify
● Be wary of someone who does
not follow through
● Put yourself in the other party’s
shoes
● Do not rush yourself or the other
party to reach a final agreement
NIGHTCRAWLER: NEGOTIATING
AN INFORMAL CONTRACT
THE POWER OF EMPATHY
Outline:
● Don’t be confused
● Get over yourself
● Be mindful
DON’T BE CONFUSED

Empathy: Sympathy: feel Barriers

understand Psychological (mistrust, ego, etc.)
Structural (time pressure, media, etc.)
Tactical (behaviors & choices)
DON’T BE CONFUSED

Empathy: Sympathy: feel Barriers

understand Psychological (mistrust, ego, etc.)
Structural (time pressure, media, etc.)
Tactical (behaviors & choices)
DON’T BE CONFUSED

Empathy: Sympathy: feel Barriers

understand Psychological (mistrust, ego, etc.)
Structural (time pressure, media, etc.)
Tactical (behaviors & choices)
 Being “nice”

GET
OVER Understand their reflexion

YOURS Explore explanations

ELF
Find solutions
 Being “nice”

GET
OVER Understand their reflexion

YOURS Explore explanations

ELF
Find solutions
 Being “nice”

GET
OVER Understand their reflexion

YOURS Explore explanations

ELF
Find solutions
 Being “nice”

GET
OVER Understand their reflexion

YOURS Explore explanations

ELF
Find solutions
 Being “nice”

GET
OVER Understand their reflexion

YOURS Explore explanations

ELF
Find solutions
 Being “nice”

GET
OVER Understand their reflexion

YOURS Explore explanations

ELF
Find solutions
EMPATHY IS NEEDED MOST
WITH PEOPLE WHO SEEM
TO DESERVE IT LEAST. THE
MORE INTOLERABLE THEIR
BEHAVIOR, THE GREATER
THE POTENTIAL BENEFIT
OF UNDERSTANDING IT.
Negotiating the Impossible, Chapter 13
BE
MINDFUL
o Strategic flexibility: change
o Credibility: commit

o Ultimatums
- Bad for you
- Don’t hold them

o Curse of knowledge

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DQla5j26Qc
“The key to a good life is not
giving a fuck about more; it’s
about giving a fuck about less,
giving a fuck about only what is
true and immediate and
important.”